It's Just Too Crazzie For You!!

2012-01-14T16:53:00.002-05:00

My life surely has changed over these past few years. I had a baby that I gave away, and was able to see him when he was 2 1/2 years old. I watched 2 kids grow up and change within 3 1/2 years. I've walked on Ice and came close to the Glacier, I've walked in the Glacier cold water, I've road on a Ferry for the 1st time, and flew 1st class. I've been to Disney World, GA, CA, TX, China, MI and Tenekee. I saw 2 other Glaciers, watched a bunch of Whales and Sea-Lions n Otters, saw bears, and see tons of Eagles. I even climbed up a mountian. My Picture taking skills have gotten better, and my Scrapbooking skills have improved far greater than I ever could've thought. I even got my purple bedroom, and my own apartment {granted, it's with the family- but it's more than I expected}.

I could have never come this far if it wasn't for God. He truly had directed me and helped me through life. And to think, I had came close one time to killing myself. I would've missed out on all of this and missed out on helping people. I've been asked to speak at a Woman's Meeting about my story of Adoption. There will be some teenage girls there who are considering abortion.. I truely hope that my story can help them see a happier side of life. :D I know that God will give me the right words to say, because I always tell my story differently with those that i tell it to.

I was able to go to DisneyWorld this past summer. It was truly AWESOME! The kids had been to DisneyLand, so seeing MickeyMouse and Princesses was nothing new to them. I, on the other hand, had a blast. I even got a day to myself and even was dorky enough to see Tinker Bell in person. I was the only non-kid that was waiting to see her {that's how dorky i was}. I didn't care. I got to get in line faster because people thought i was apart of "that" group. Got to go swimming at the Tycoon Park before having to fly back to Alaska.

We spent a day at EpCot, walking around- trying different things with the kids. There were some water sprouts here and there, and Jameson was brave enough to go play in one. Yeah- i was able to catpure a great moment {pic}. hahaha. He stood in the way of the water jumping. I must say that this is indeed my favorite picture of that trip!.. Totally Priceless!!

My favorite park of DisneyWorld would have to be Animal Kingdom. We hanged out in the Africa area and even went on a Sarfari ride. It was great! The kids totally loved looking at all the animals and loved these fishes the most {so they said}. There were hidden Mickey's all over the park, and if you look for it where'ver you went- you may find one or two. :D

I always manage to work with kids where ever i am at. I am a Nanny, and i help out in Awanas, and i often help out in the Nusery. We often have just girls in there, but this one time i was in there we got a boy who was super shy. So i went and got some cars and that track thing. Needless to say, the boy opened up and all the kids were all over that thing. Of course i had to take pics! I think it's my job to take pics at times! In fact, i recently was asked to take pictures for the Church's Website--- of the school, and activites. I am super siked, and will be starting with the school's pics this coming week.. Yays!

I have to be honest... I am moving this summer to TX. Going to help my older sister out, and of course get to know Stephen a lot better. He moved out there recently. :D I can't wait. Tho... I will really miss these kids, and Alaska tons. I love working with these kids and doing things with them {like go to the Glacier or the park, or play with their toys}. I love hearing them laugh, and love seeing how much they grow. They are two very different kids, yet seem to get along pretty well.

I am going to miss this boy tons. I seem to spend the most time with him, since Delaney is in school longer. He knows how to push my buttons, and i know how much he can handle {like how much food he'll eat or if he needs a nap rather than a rest}.

I will miss these great chances for great shots. They don't happen all the time, but if you are looking- you may come across something great. Like a great foggy day, or the water all clear, or a great sunrise/set that happens after a rainy week. {pic} it was a super cold day, and i had to take the dog to the groomers. After dropping her off, i came across this Docking area and just fell in love with the view. So i snapped some pics, and even got down on the frozen ground for some pics. Hey- sometimes you gotta get dirty and cold to get some great shots. :D

Sunsets and Sunrises will always be my favorite thing to shot. When i see Orange, i think of my friend Jolene {she told me once that she loved orange sunsets the most}. So i often think of her. My favorite Sunsets are the ones with Pink, Purple and a bit of Blue. Fall time the sun rises as i am taking the kids to school- so i was able to get some great pics {when it wasn't cloudy or rainy}.

I just love Scrapbooking. This is my lastest page i've done. I love it tons. I may add to it later- but for now, this works! :D Took me a long time to put all those pictures into a heart, and to put those Eyelets things through the papers. On the back, i tape it so that it won't scratch through the other pages. :D I do love scrapping and someday would love to go Pro with it. But- that's just a dream i have.

And well.. that's life for now.

2011-07-31T20:02:00.006-04:00

July 2011! What a blessing it was for me. The kids I watch went to visit their Grandparents this summer and i got to have a vacation. Jenice and I first took the kids to GA. She sat with Jameson in the back and I sat with Delaney in the middle of the plane. The lady next to me asked if we were with an adult- hahaha! I met up with Stephen at the airport and Jenice met up with her parents. I had a wonderful time with Stephen. He had to work all week, but when we were together it was precious! I went for walked on the non-sidewalks, and i checked out the different stores nearby. Stephen and I watched some movies together, ate out, chat, walked and fixed his car {well, he fixed it, i just cheered him on!}. It was very hard to leave...yet i had to.

Before leaving, i was able to see my handsome son. I had asked the adoptive parents way before i was in town and was expecting them to say "No".. which i totally would've understood if they did.. but im very blessed that they said "Yes". So we met up at a mall and chatted. Elijah was very interested in a elevator and a train, so we went to the food court and ate there together. It was very encouraging to know that they all pray together. His older brother loved telling me stories, and his sisters were also saying a few things about themselves. Elijah doesn't know about the whole adoption just yet- but they will be telling him when he is old enough to really understand. They said that they had to get his hair cut 5times already--crazzie.

Away i go to Michigan alone with the kids. It wasn't super bad, tho Jameson was very cranky and forgot his manners- so he didn't get what he wanted right away. I played around with Delaney with a picture book i had {one where you look for the differences between 2 same pics}. Their dad and grandparents met them at the airport and so did my dad. My dad was super siked to have seen me, tho i really wasn't homesick- i saw how Daynasick people were {they all missed me tons}!

My mom had told me about this one place blowing up a few months ago. She was asleep at the time and didn't even wake up at all when there was a big BANG!.. There were some houses nearby that pretty much is condemned{non-liveable} now and the bussiness around it-windows broken for a few blocks. My mom showed me this place one of the days i was there.. {pic-this is whats left of the building}. This place is just a few hourses away from my friend's house- doesn't look like he is still living there, so i wonder where he is at now--yet too scared to ask him. Praise the Lord tho-- noone was hurt by this, besides some cuts from the broken glass.

I was very glad to be able to see my new sister-in-law! We went out to eat with my little bro {not her hubby} and just chatted. She is one very cool girl. I am very glad that my older brother married her. I was able to help out at a youth-group and just see what Jayme faces each week. Jayme, Deanna and I had went to see the new HarryPotter movie together-people at the movie were super excited and were not quiet during most of it {claping and cheering..etc}. I thought it was super nifty that 2 elderly ladies sat by me and was whispering together--kinda like Kaytie would with me when i am lost about whats going on, or when she just wants to explain something deeper. So i listened to these ladies as i watched the movie and got some inside scoop about it that i wouldn't have if they weren't sitting by me.

A cool thing that i learned about Deanna is that she loves lemon in her water. Jayme and mom both had lemon with their water when we all had went out for dinner the day before i left.

Jayme and Deanna has a cute new puppy. He was all over the place and chewing on shoe-laces like crazzie! They surely do have their hands full with this little guy! It was hard to capture a good picture of him, but i finally did! Yays! :D There were some kids that came over one day and they were all over the dog- chasing, putting his toys into his mouth, hugging, lifting him up, and falling on top of him..etc... poor dog.

The day before i left, Deanna, Jayme, Mom and I went to Green Feild Village and just walked around and checked out the different houses of how people used to live back in the 30s or 50s. My mom brought this hard candy thing that melts in your mouth {i remember her talking about it one time a few hours ago}.. so i tried it, and it was pretty good--tho it was very sugary! Deanna and Jayme made some candles while mom and i watched and took pics and chatted.

A lady had told a kid that she needed to put the candle in the freezer for 3weeks before using it, so the kid went to her dad and told him that they have to wait 3 years-- haha! Crazzie!

Then i met up with the grandparents at the airport and took the kids on my own back to GA for the night.. we met up with their parents. Delaney fell asleep and i just played with Jameson. He wasn't cranky this time. :D It was a good trip. I just love flying! Tho i wish i could've visited with Stephen for the day. O-wells. We chatted on the phone for a while. It was my last day to be in the same time-zone as him... I really hate the whole 4 hour differences..grr!

Flying from GA to WA... i sat in Daron's seat as he sat with one of the kids and Jenice sat with the other kid. Someone asked me for Daron and i said he would either be in seat 21 or 27... so the lady left and then came back and told me to get my bags- so i did and she took me to seat 1A.. {oh yeah- that's First Class baby!!}. It was super awesome. So i guess Daron had an upgrade and gave it to me.. I got to watch a free movie, drink whatever i wanted {water!}, and eat {tomatoes, some fancy meat thing, and chocolate covered icecream} for free--as well as, have more space!

It was indeed ever so good to get back into "normal".. Played around with the kids, rest, feed them and just enjoy them. They were super happy about their horses and was playing with them. Very cute! So of course i had to take pics of it- and Delaney was being silly by hiding, but i got her! :D Jameson had wanted to go to McD one day, but he was being very pouty and when i told him to clean up- he didn't, so we didn't go to McD. Which i was ok with it. I really don't reward bad behavior- and they know it. I don't have to be nice all the time, that isn't my job {to be nice}, my job is to watch them and make sure nothing bad happens to them.

I took the kids to the Glacier on Friday, it was very cool. We had to hike it, so we took the pathway that led through the woods yet is gated up a beidged up from the bears.. and we were able to see 2 bears and watch one chase after a fish. The bear was super fast that the fish had no chance! So we left while the bear ate the fish and the tourists were getting to be too much {i am amazed that i even got a pic of the bear bc there were a bunch of tourist there}. Then we walked to the Glacier, Jameson and Delaney wanted to run but i told them that we couldn't right then because of all the tourist {there were at least 3 busses loads of tourist there--yikes!}. But it was still fun! :D

Later that same day, Kjerstin and I went to the Glacier too. It was super amazing! God is ever so amazing! I am just in awe at what all He does in my life and what all He shows me throughout my life and even with my stay here in AK. Kjerstin and I saw at least 5-6 bears and an Eagle eating a left over fish. We were watching the Eagle and was going to try to get a pic of it flying- when a bear came walking out. also another bear with a cub, and then 2 other bears came by--one of the 2 caught a fish and so they frought over that fish and then just played around a bit. it was fun to watch. As we were leaving, there was a bear that walked toward the parking lot-- but it must've gone back into the woods by the time we got to the parking lot. It was just a great time with one of my best friend!

There were some locals and a few toustist there. But not as much as there were in the afternoon {when i had gone with the kids}. Kjerstin had taken some very sweet shots of the bears and the eagle. And i got some shots of her taking pics-- haha.. thats the kind of friend i am! :P haha! Pic of the tourist- they were looking at a bear eating a fish and was waiting for it to move--which it did after a while.

The Wednesday i was back, Jenny {a new friend i've made this summer} asked to have dinner with me we the Waffle shop and then invited me to a college-Bible Study group {which turned out to be very cool.. didn't really know about- but wouldn't have mattered if i did, because i am usually always busy on Wednesday, and will be this semester for surely}. They were having a prom night that day too- but i skipped out on it because i was still mega tired from the plane-trip. But while i was there, i heard about this hiking thing that they were planning on doing.. so i found out where they were meeting up at and met them there and went with Jenny's group {which i am ever so glad i did- she is a sweetheart}. We were the 2nd group to have left {4 groups in all} and didn't have to be a huge hurry. {the last group ran up the trails-- i am impressed by them}

It was a very hard hike for me... nothing but up hill and step-like paths. I was so sore and tired and worn out... Jenny stood by me the whole time.. and then after a while the rest of the group decided to just let me lead them and go at my own pace- They were very encouraging and very sweet. We stoped 4 times before our main stop {where the cross was at} and just prayed for Juneau, Others, and Ourselves {our own personal walk with Jesus, our own mountain that we may be facing or will be facing}. Once we made it to the cross, we sang songs and just enjoyed the view- i prayed and sang as i admire God's handiwork! A big group, afterwards, ended up leaving {hiked back down, while a group of us went to hike up the mountian to the summit {top}.

I really wanted to make it to the top... but of course i couldn't.. but we did made it very far up and i was very impressed and proud of how much God's Strength there was.. I am sure i would've made it all the way to the top- but i didn't want to make Jenny very late for a thing she had to go later that day. So we met up with a small group {2girls and 2 buys} and just hanged out with them, ate lunch and just chatted. I am very blessed with Jenny and know that God has something amazing planned for her.

While we were hanging out, a bear and a cub walked by, so we walked over a small ways to just watch it walk.. It was very awesome to see a bear they high up. God was just blessing us the whole time.. reminding us of His love and His power. He created each mountian and everything that is one them, and He created us and knows EVERYTHING there is to know about us {even what we don't even know}.. I am just in awe. On the way up from the cross to here, Jenny and I walked with this guy named Mike- it was so cool because we got deep in our conversation about God and life, and he too was very patient with me as i felt like i was going to die walking up this mountian. On the way down, Jenny and I walke with another guy named Spencer- it too was very awesome because we got into a deep talk about girls and guys and God. {like our relationship and whatnots}

{pic} this is where we were hanging out before we head on down. We were very far up- yet another 2miles away from the top {so close- yet so far away... here we were about 7miles.... took us about 7hours because it was just up hill and bc we prayed/stopped a few times}.

What did i learn on this hike? I learned that even if we started to head the wrong way and are willing to go back to God and give Him everything {repent and give Him our all} then we will get back onto the trail that He has made for us... I know i surely couldn't make it up 5feet alone {on my own strength}-- and desperately needing His strength. And the more i depended on Him the further i was able to go. Yeah i may had to stop often to catch my breath or get a drink of water but each step i had to take was really from God. And to those that ran up the mountian, and even those that made it all the way to the top-- i am very impressed with them. they make it look so easy- yet i know how hard it is just to walk up it. In the end- it was ever so worth it! I may have to try to do it again someday, and make sure i have some bear-spray or something with me {just in case}! I would love to make it to the top someday and just be able to say that I've done it and had done it with the power of God {i surely wouldn't be able to do it on my own}.. So Mt. Roberts was my 1st mountian that i climbed up, and was the 1st one that i tried to make it to the top... so close yet so far away. There is no way I could jump from this mountian to the next without the cross of Jesus {the bridge that He made with His own blood}. This morning service was very well spoken- about being rescued and knowing when you despreatly{sp} needing to be rescued {like being stuck in a barn that is on fire and there is no way out}. Jesus came to rescue us and to help us to see {just like He did with the blind man who couldn't see and admitted that he couldn't see... and unlike the pharisees who claim to see yet was blind}. It was a message that related {to me} to the hiking... I needed to be resued and He directed the pathway.... I need to remember this and continue going on- looking toward Him. Yeah, He can use my mistakes for His Glory- but what a blessing it'll be to do what He tells me to do the 1st time and just give Him the Glory for all the blessing that'll come out of it!! WOW.. God is just so amazing! How can one look at this view and not praise Him?!? Poor souls who are blinded to the truth!

Well.. hope you didn't mind this book i just wrote {so it'll seem like}.. :D thanks for your time! May God blessed you and encourage you through your path and your own struggles. I'll be that cheerleader that cheers you on even tho i don't know what you are going through {just like i did with all those people that either passed us or was coming down while we were still going up the mountian... i don't know how far they made it, or what they were struggleing with... but God does and i can just encourage them or just put a small smile on their face while they continue going on}.. Jenny had mentioned a few times how amazed she was that I was encouraging others when i was struggling so much to just make it part way... So i guess through that- i was encouraging her {spiritally} without really knowing it at the time. :D And now- i hope that i have encouraged you, even just a small bit. All this is going to the glory of God.. because i surely can't do anything to help you--- but i know He can and will! :D

2011-07-08T16:31:00.004-04:00

July is finally here! 4th of July i was on a plane to GA... and was able to see Stephen. I have missed him greatly. On the way there, i sat with Delaney on row 16 and Jenice was with Jameson on row 29... The lady next to me asked me if we were with an adult- i told her that i was an adult and then she asked me again if we are with an adult. hahaha... guess she was deaf- so i told her again that i am an adult. Then the service lady came by asking if someone on row 16 has a mom in the back {Jenice sent up something for Delaney to do if bored} and of course i had to answer for Delaney {it didn't help me at all}. Later on, i told the lady bout my story and she thought it was super cool that i was a Nanny and when she saw a pic of Elijah after we landed she said "He's a Stunner!".. I am so gonna be using that saying for a long time. :D

I had gotten my hair cut and told Stephen that i had a surprise for him... but like i thought- he didn't even ask me for a pic of me the whole week. {makes me wonder if he misses me or something}. But he liked it. :D It is super HOT here, but i love it. Been going for walks to nearby stores and just looking around. I can't believe that there are NO sidewalks here- do people not walk around anymore? This is so sad!! Don't they know how amazing this place is? It is HOT and Sunny and there is even THUNDER! O'How i have missed Thunder! :D I am super siked that i got to hear it and just enjoy it. Sunday Stephen and I are going to a church nearby, and then go watch Transformers together- i just love cuddling with him and just enjoying the time we have together. Yesterday we went to a nearby resturant and had a great time! :D

The week before i left for my new adventure- I was able to hang out with Kjerstin each day. It was tons of fun. We went swimming a few times, went to the park, played at my house, watched movies, went to the library{pic-at the library downtown} and played games- even had a Pj Party one day. After work, Kjerstin and I went to the Glacier, had dinner, and even went to Eagle Beach for some picture taking fun! :D It was great fun! :D I just love hanging out with her.

I am getting more and more excited about my ASL class that starts up in September. It will be very helpful and i can use it too. I had ran into a deaf girl here in GA and i was able to use what little ASL i knew from Kjerstin- and i think i totally brighten up her day {because she had an even bigger smile on her face before i left}. God is so Good!! :D

I am taking this online Scrapbooking class thing this summer- it started last week and will end in September... but it is super easy to catch up- so i have to wait till i get back in order to catch up and make some pages that goes with the theme of the week and whatnots. I can't wait! I just love scrapbooking and i love challeneges. I am also looking forward to working more on my brother's Wedding Scrapbook- just need to finsih editing some pics {alot of them i hate the fact that it either has the date on it or it is red/orange bc of the lighting---grr}. I can understand why mom felt out of the loop- yet the whole picture thing is really her own fault since she left before they did the family pictures--O'Wells! Life goes on. :D I am looking forward to hanging out with my Sister-in-Law and the fam.. i am not looking forward to the smoke, and the boredness and the messiness.. grr. I am not homesick at all! I love being out of the house and being on my own... Hmm. i wonder what i am gonig to be doing after this Nanny job- will i be married with Stephen, or will i still be working with the family, or maybe with another family, or maybe even work a different job. I have no idea-- i just know that i do not want to go back to MI to live- i know i won't be able to keep a job there {i'll be useless like alot of people there}.

Well.. Thats all for now- Have a wonderful and blessed day/week!

2011-05-21T11:18:00.003-04:00

This past weekend has been a huge blessing, a new Adventure! I was able to go on a ferry for the 1st time {so I think.. i may have been on one when i was little, but i don't remember}. Anyways, went to a small Alaskian town with my freind Katy. It was a huge blast because i got to meet the people i heard stories about, and saw the small town for myself. It is indeed one road with no cars {besides the truck for the fuel, and the firetruck}. There were four wheelers, bikes, and wagons/carts. It was very beautiful there, and very old. {pic- view from the top of the ferry}

1st night there, we were invited to a concert that was being held that night {it was free there, otherwise i would've had to pay $25 had i went to it here in Juneau}. And it was ever so amazing! The famous guy had the piano open, and told us the history behind the piano and also of the music he was playing. That was the only time i saw him- guess he went into hiding until the ferry came. Then Katy and I asked around to see if anyone needed help with anything. Someone wanted us to paint a door- but never gave us the paint that they had somewhere--so we wasn't able to do that job. We walked around, took pictures, and visited. There was a graduation for this girl there- so we helped out with that, and also help cleaned up after the potluck. We played card games with some kids, and had a strawberry shortcake gathering before we had to leave on the ferry. It was a huge blast getting to know some people. There was this little girl who looked just like my niece and her sister is ever so cute {a miracle baby- premature and is now walking and saying a few words}. {pic- View of the town from the Holicapter landing thing}

God is ever so great! He created all these rocks and dirt and mountians and ocean and sky and sun and clouds...everything--yet He loves me so very much to have sent His One and only Perfect {Sinless} Son to go through so much pain and beaten and die on the cross for our sins-- but He didn't just die {If he just died, then the payment wasn't fulfilled}... He came back alive on His own. And He is gong to come back down on a cloud and take His children with Him. I am ever so blessed and glad that I am one of His children.

We had our last BCM {Bible Campus Ministry--college Bible group}. We went to Lena Beach and hanged out. It was a blast. Had hotdogs, marshmellows, books, music, freesbee-game, skipping rocks, chatting..etc. Of course i took pics! :D {Pic- my fav of that night}. Next semester is going to be INSANE!! A group of us is in charge, and surely have alot on out plate- with some planning and prepareing and plainting of seeds. I am looking forward to taking an ASL {sign language} class next semester- but am sad that i can't go help out in youth group anymore.. Hope someone will step up and take my spot.

Took the kids to the Glacier for some picture fun. Printed up a few and got some picture frame for Jenice... they both need some recent pics of the kids to hang up- all the ones that they do have are when the kids were younger {like 3-5 years ago}. Kids liked it, they wanted me to take pics of this and that- but i was able to take some sweet moments without them knowing i was taking a pic. :D I love my job!

I really like this pic of them- looking at the glacier together. They really like going to see it and was shocked as to how far it has gotten. It is dwifting away- further and further away. So sad! i like going there sometimes and just admiring God- He created it and knows where it is going because He is directing it's pathway--just like He is directing our pathways {rather we fellow it or not}

Daron had a post thing that someone in the Coast-Guard had-- it was for a beach outing. So i met up with someone {a wife to a Coast-Guard} and fellowed her to the beach. Then met up with a few other ladies and their kids. Walked around the beach to a small "island"-the tide was back, so it wasn't an island at the time.. and saw tons of Starfishes and other sea-creatures. Kids had a blast looking at all the starfishes.. we even saw some Killer Whales off in the distance.

The next day, the kid's classes went to the beach. They each went to a different beach, so i went with Delaney- since they needed a driver. It was a blast looking at more Starfishes and other sea-creatures. When we 1st got there, there was an Eagle sitting on top of some rocks. He didn't move till the kids started climbing the rocks. It was super awesome. They all had a blast- even I did. I didn't touch anything {i am a wimp}, but the kids did.

I have a new sister.. my 1st Sister in Law.. I can't wait to see the pictures and also do a scrapbook for them {tho, i wonder how i will do that since they didn't take any pictures of my parents and grandma--just her parents and grandparents}. owells.. it'll be a fun challenge. Told my mom that i should just put pics of them when they were at Joy's Wedding.. they may have to wonder why it was sunny and why Joy is in the wedding dress.. :P haha.

Elijah had turn 2 last month.. super crazzie! I am hoping to be getting pics soon.. not sure tho. I just found out that my friend is pregnant. Guess she was jealous that i had a baby out of wedlock that she just had to go and do it too. I am a bit sad about it-because she knows what i went through.. but i am glad that she is going to keep her baby. At least she knows that she has a babysitter here if she is ever in town. :D I just love kids. I hope i can do a scrapbook for her when she has him. {i'll make mention of it}.

anyways- thats my life for now. :D Keep seeking God!!

2011-01-22T14:52:00.004-05:00

2010 has been an interesting year for me. Elijah turned 1, said good bye to old friends and hello to new friends, went to Asia for 2 weeks and Las Vegas with the family, got my 1st rose from Stephen, spent time with my family in Texas, and spent Christmas with Stephen and watch him graduate from his school. Kids i watch have grown so much and their personalities are growing stronger. Jameson started Preschool, and Delaney started Kidengarden. It has been 2 whole years i've worked with this family and am now working on my 3rd year. I feel so much apart of the family. I have babysat alot of kids throughout the year. My grandpa died and my older brother got engaged to a friend of mine. I also turned a year older {shocker i know} and am now 1/2 of 50... old enough to eat ice-cream backwards. J/K. Started a new journal for Elijah... i wonder how many journals i'll have by the time i give them to him.

It is indeed now a brand new year.. new trails, new pathways, new hard times, new friends, new challenges, new storms, new sunlight, new blessings, new outlook, and a new journey.

Christmas was a HUGE blast.. got to spent 2 weeks with Stephen. He had to go to school and then work for most of it- but over all.. it was great! We went to watch Tron with a co-worker of his, and we ate out a few times and went to church. We spent Christmas weekend at his dad's. Christmas day we went to Nanci {step mom}'s mom's house and hanged out there. A friend of the family hanged out with us the next day for a while. Talked Stephen into staying so i can do the dishes before we left {he is a sweetie- he helped me out}. Stephen got me a Heart-locket neckless {has my name on front and "I Love You always and forever" on the back} and a box {with my fav. verse on top}. Nanci and Lonnie got me a snowflake neckless/ear rings, cheap things from the $1 store, and P.Js. They are awesome. I didn't want to leave Stephen at all. I love his company and love spending time with him. I enjoyed traveling with Stephen.. it's a 2hour drive to his dad's.

It is very sweet seeing how the kids are bonding more rather than fighting {yeah they do fight, but they will protect each other}. Delaney is now hugging a bit more. Very sweet. I do love working with these kids.. even when Jameson is screaming his head off over. He surely is 3 years old! Wow- he's going to be 4 this year-- crazzie!!

A good friend of mine recently died from lung/kidney cancer. One of her many Doctors is indeed my boss {the dad of the kids i watch}. She was a very sweet lady and i enjoyed being around her. She told me a few times how much i encouraged her to keep going strong for the Lord and how she loves my smiles. I surely will miss her tons, but i know that i will see her again someday. I am praying for her family and asking the Lord to work in their lives and change their heart- they need Him too.

Last week Jameson and I went to hang out at the waffle shop while Delaney was in school. friend of a friend of mine wanted to meet up- so we did. Scott, Halie, and Leah.. Halie's sister lives here and so she is thinking about moving up here. So they were checking it out here and wanted to meet some people about their age {and i am indeed about their age..23-26}. Took Jameson to open up- but at the end he was warmed up and willing to play. Scott helped Jameson jump higher, and Halie wanted a nice pic of them together. Pretty cute pic!! I can't wait to get to know Halie more and be able to hang out with someone older than 5. *grins*

Well.. i am looking forward to this brand new year. Katie is moving to Asia for a few years, her mom is now engaged and thinking about a March or June Wedding, Jayme is getting married on Friday 13th of May, and Stephen might be moving up here to Alaska. My friend Rekann is thinking about moving here in 2012 and surely can't wait. I hope that i can really help my friend through a situation that i had went through myself and just remind her that God TRULY Loves her.

How was your 2010? Was is great? bad? challenging? rewarding? :D

2010-11-17T00:40:00.006-05:00

Woman's Retreat was Great.. Went over Col 3 and thinking things above. Even tho we are going through hard times- we can look at what is true and know that God is there with us. Just like Phil 4:8 says... "Finally brother, whatsoever things are true...... think on these things!" Yup... that is so true! :D So while we were getting out picture taken- this cat popped up and wanted in on it. Later, this same cat kept jumping into a lady's car- guess she/he didn't want to stay there. haha.

Invitations turned out great!! Made them each different but with the same information. I can't wait to start working on a scrapbook for some people.. Just need to print up the pictures for one wedding, and also wait for the other wedding pics to come my way. I also got my 2nd page done for my Asian trip! I Love it tons. I have been looking through the scrapbook magazines that i have gotten over the years and just seeing what new thing i can include to my own ideas. :D So far- I have gotten into this square thing.. enough that i am including it to anything and everything right now. That and the whole diamond thing in a row..

I love my friends! I love hanging out with them and just spending time with people older than 3rd grade. I am ALWAYS surrounded with kids that a break from kids is ALWAYS a great thing. Tho- there are plenty of time i just want to be left alone and read or just catch up on sleep. {pic} Here we are after BCM {power was out but came on just as Brian was talking}. Sriana and Leah wanted their picture taken and so Saul was taking it for them-- yeah it took a while. haha. They are so silly! Leah is still growing and learning from her past- and Sriana is very encouraging- and Saul is just silly {i don't really know him too well}.

The kids are doing well.. I got to watch them for 3 whole days. I now know that i don't want to be a single mom with 3 kids and a crazzie dog.. it was very tireing. But even tho it was tireing- there were so many precious moments that i wouldn't change for anything.. Like all the laughters, all the sweet sayings {Jameson had told me that he loves me}.. and just chillen while we watched a movie before going to bed. {i don't remember what movie we were watching in the pic there.. maybe it was How to Train your Dragon}.

We also had some yummy meals together, and i keep learning how much Jameson LOVES ketchup... enough to eat it with his broccoli and say it tastes like ice-cream. Um... im pretty sure that it doesn't, but good for you! We read alot of books. One time they both fell asleep during the 1st book.. so sweet! We went to the park, and took a bath, and enjoyed time making up games. Delaney missed her mom and dad- so i had her make them a card and write in it {yeah, i had to help her with some of the spelling- but she did great on her own otherwise}. I love seeing how much the kids are growing and learning.

So this month i am also babysitting another kid {who happens to be good freinds with Delaney and in the same class}. Nikki {freind} surely is a wild one, but she is ever so sweet and loves to play with people. She also forgets very easily {like when her mom comes to pick her up and she needs to clean up- she will often start playing again.. haha}. Even tho the girls can get SUPER loud, i do love hearing them giggle and laugh at the silliest things. {pic, we went to the park and this is at the dock area}

I think the best thing about kids is that they can say things without knowing what they are saying and yet be ever so true. Like Delaney saying the other day how much God cleans people's heart when they let Him. She didn't undertand why she said it- but yet it is ever so true.

So in the youth group, we went over the story of Barak- and how much of a chicken he was b/c he asked a girl to come along with him to fight off a place. Tho- the place ended up being dead by a girl names Jael {who killed the king in his own tent}. So Katie asked the kids to crave the pumpkin... on one time the kids made a chicken, and on this side they made a cross. I thought it looked mega awesome.. so as i was cleaning up the mess- i took this pic. :D Yeah-- i love taking pics. This is just so awesome... We should honor God through everything- even on Holloween.. We can crave crosses or whatnots and let people know the Love of God. :D

Recently, i have been studying out Romans. I read a chapter, then read some other books that i have on Romans, and also look at the cross-references that is in my Bible, and read the notes that i had taken and even the notes on the bottom. {pic- this is what my Bible looks like on a busy page}. I am now on Chapter 4... i am just studying it out slowly. I totally forgot about my Woman's Study program thing- so i have to catch up with that I already am done with SS class reading- since i had to teach it and well, 1st week noone showed up and 2nd week Mark and I didn't get too far into it since he had wondered what Mary were which. Crazzieness! But it's alright!

Now this handsom fellow is my son. This is his 1st year picture that i had been given just after his 1st birthday. He is now 1yr and 7months old. Last i heard, he is talking and walking around and looks alot like me. I am very glad that he still has blue eyes {can't tell in the pic}. Juan has brown eyes and usually the dominate eye color wins- so i guess Hazel is better!! :P jk.. I saw a pic on someone's Flickr page that looks so much like Elijah- but it wasn't {unless Elijah was in India and has 5brothers..- which he doesn't}. I was able to tell the whole adoption story to the ladies during the retreat. Some of the ladies was telling about their hard times {since someone asked "what short of hard times are you going through?"}... Someone who knew the story said that i should tell my story {which only made the people who didn't know it be very curious about it}.. i wasn't going to tell them bc i didn't want to focus to me on me, but i felt an urge to tell it- so i did. Afterwards a lady came up to me and said she was very proud of me and she started crying {so i hugged her since she needed it}. I always give the glory to God whenever i tell the story- because He is the One who knew what is best for Elijah and provided everything and even gave me the strength to go through it. Yeah- it is hard, even now... but it's not super hard as i thought it would be because God gave me the strength and also bc i know that i can see pics from time to time. :D I can watch him grow up- and that is indeed very important to me. Just because i am not in his life doesn't mean that he can't be in my life right now. :D I Love Him and am looking forward to hearing from him when he is older. :D

So i guess there is a ton of drama going on with my family right now. I am just glad that i am not in the middle of it. I forgive those that are in the wrong, and i love them tons. They will learn from their mistakes sooner or later. I am praying for them and do hope for the best in them. Maybe greed is in control of them right now- but they will see that life isn't about things, it is about serving God and loving Him alone. So.. i am praying that some people will forgive them continueously and love them. They don't have to be buddy-buddy, but they can still love them. Sure "shake off the dust"- but still pray for them and love them. Jesus did... if He didn't- then He surely wouldn't of died on the cross for them. It's as simple as that! Well- I love my family.. even tho there is this big drama going on. Thats all i can say on the matter.. bc i don't really know what all is going on besides what i've been told.

Anyways.. thats life for you! This weekend is going to be a blast.. Bowling and basketball this Saturday.. Yays!! There will be pizza and cake {even if i have to make the cake-maybe cupcakes-myself}, and tons of fun. i hope that i don't get any presents.. why? because i will already have the best present- spending time with my friends.. and even my best friend Kjerstin-- Yays!! :D I miss her loads. I don't know when she get in town, but i do know that she will be here on Saturday at least.. Yays! Wow.. i am getting old... i am going to be 1/2 of 50 this year-- Crazzie!! Well- i'll make the best of it just like i made the best of being 24. :D

2010-11-12T17:14:00.003-05:00

No matter what hard times you are going through you can always count on God being there with you and helping you through the hard times. This past Monday my Grandpa died in his sleep. He was in and out of the hospital for his leg, or lungs or other problems. I was never really close to him, but it is still sad. I am not even sure if he is in Heaven or not right now.. all i know is that God will use this for His Glory. the 11th would've bee nhis 84th birthday and today is his furneral. A blessing has been happening recently- my dad has been changing slowly. He is now going to church along with my mom and have started tithing on his own. I am still praying that he will come to know my Savior as his own Savior also.

{pic taken from my freind, Dominika, in the velley area} It's been getting colder and wetter here. But even through all the wetness, God sends His love through a rainbow or a small opening in the sky. He is also showing His Love through all the little things and even the big things like not getting into a car crash.

I am so siked- i worked on invitations for a bowling party that i am going to throw for my friends. They need a small break from studying all the time. I had a great time making the invitations for them all. I made them to their fav. color and made each one different in designs {yet have some things the same, like diamond design and circles somewhere on it}. I found out that my best friend is going to be in town during that time. I am super siked about her being in town, tho it sounded like she needs a break from people for a while {which i can understand}.

This past week has been ever so busy for me. Mon-Wednesday night i had the kids all to myself while the parents went out of the state for some business. The kids kept me busy with games, cooking, cleaning, bath, etc. But it was good. I took the kids to the park one of the days and just let them run off their energy {it wasn't raining that day- yays!} I had thursday off work, so i slept in and finished working on the invitations and watched a series about a girl whose parents died and she was to live with her aunt who didn't want her- the aunt got lost at sea and another aunt came by to take care of the household and the girl- the aunt was very mean but started changing the more she lived there with the girl. Pretty interesting in a wierd way. :D Then i went to BCM {College Bible Study} and we sang in the dark {power was out}. Brian talked about Jesus dying and how we know for a fact that He died. Next week He is going to show us a way to show that Jesus is indeed alive without using the Bible {for those who say that He didn't really come alive and that the Bible is a lie, but yet they believe in the History of our culture..} I am looking forward to that. :D He even gave each of us a book "The Case for Easter". Yays!! I love free books, and i love reading! :D Tonight and tomorrow morning i am going to be at the woman's retreat down in Out The Road {thats the name of the road- really!! There is a road called that in like each city of Alaska- no joke!} then Sat night i am babysitting 2 boys for a family bc its their anniversary. And Sunday morning i am teaching again. Maybe this time people will be there. If not, it'll be alright. I love reading alone! :D Yikes! It's just one busy, fun week!

I am still looking forward to getting pics of Elijah... i surely hope that i get it before my birthday. I have been waiting for these pics for over 3 months now. I've been told that he is looking more and more like me and that he is talkig and walking around more. I wish i can hear his sweet little voice. Owells! I am just happy with what i get. I still write in his journal from time to time, and i do look forward to giving it to him someday. :D

Have a wonderful and blessed day! :D

-Dayna

2010-11-04T21:19:00.007-04:00

This past month has been hard- and it seems like this month is just the same. I somehow can't sleep at night. It's like my bedtime is 2am and i am up by 5 in the morning. I am so tired lately that i feel so sick. Thursday i went to the dentist and they fixed one of my teeth in the back, so they were pulling my mouth this way and that. As the numbness was going away- my mouth was hurting me so much that i just wanted to cry and cry. Did i? Nope... i find that when i am around people, i don't cry. My mouth is doing better now- since i have pin medicine from the family i work for. Then after a crazzie morning with super hyper kids, a new route to go inside, a crazzie dog, feeding kids, kids screaming and playing- i fell asleep for a bit, but was woken up by Jameson who just had to tell me that he had to go potty. Not sure why i have to tell him to "well go then", but i guess it's a must. Maybe it was a good thing that i be up while watching kids.

I think i might through a small b-day party for myself this year and go bowling, have pizza, cake, and fun! :D I think it would be good for the college students to just have a small break away from their studies. Am going to make their invitations soon.. Yeah- i love working with paper and just being creative. The BEST birthday gift would be having Stephen coming up to surprise me.. but i am super certain that thats not going to happen. I am just happy with just hanging with my friends that gifts isn't a big deal. {pic is of a Double Rainbow that Stephen saw.. i just love how the rain falling is also colorful.}

Saturday night i skipped out on Basketball because i was in so much pain the whole day, and needed to study out John so i can teach it for SS. A freind of mine called me and we ended up talking for a long time. Went to bed- woked up a few times from either being in pain or being too hot. Today I went to get gas and the tomatoe that Mrs. Chadwick asked me to get and then hurried up to get to SS on time. Turns out- i could've skipped out on SS... NoOne showed up. Owells.. i just used that time to reread Romans and look up different cross-reverences that was in my Study Bible. I am learning so much and getting alot of it like that. It was peaceful and just sweet being alone with the Lord. Went to Service, then helped out with lunch at the Chadwicks. I thought they were going to introduce something that all 25-35 year olds should know... but it turned out that they wanted to have a meet n greet a few new comers that are about that age. It was great!

Awanas was... INSANE.. Victoria's little friend came along and she was worst than last week she came. She was crying about this and that, kicking the pins when she didn't win, yelling and kicking when i was trying to talk to her and just trying to do things that she wanted to do when she wanted to do. I love her bc i am told to.. but it's so hard to try to communicate to her when she doesn't want to listen. Told the person who is in charge of her that she can either come with a mom or dad next week or not come next week and then maybe come the week later if she behaves. I don't need to pick her up, and i surely am not going to be rewarding bad behaviors.

I love working with kids. One day last week i had to watch the kids while the parents were out on a date. I had to put the kids to bed, so naturally when they woked up in the middle of the night- they came to me {even tho their parents was upstairs}. So little Jameson came into my apartment as i was working on something, and he fell back asleep before i could stand up to walk him back to his room. So of course i took pictures-- i wouldn't be a good Nanny if i hadn't.. haha. He is so cute when he is sleeping... why can't kids be this sweet when they are awake? owells!! Life goes on!

So the date on this says it was posted on Thursday.. but it is Sunday the 7th... I had started this on Thursday.. haha.. Crazzieness! It should post the date that you really post it, not the date you started it.. owells! Well.. Have a wonderful and God-Fearing Day!! :D

2010-10-30T04:57:00.004-04:00

It is a blessing to be here. It's been raining all month- so it seems like anyways. I am very ready for Summer to come- but alas, we have to go through winter first. Thats just how life is... we all have to go through something in order to get the reward. But no matter what the weather is, there seem to always be Sunshine somewhere in my day/life. Rather that Sunshine is just a quiet time alone, spending time with friends, or just a simple sight {like a rainbow on a rainy day}. Delaney is slowly understanding some of the Bible stories. She told me the story of Noah the other day and told me that a rainbow is God's promise to Love us.... so true... and it is also a promise that He will not flood the earth again like that. {yeah he will flood towns, but not the whole world}.

The Kids are ever so silly. Delaney loves to pick out her own clothes in the morning, and of course- it doesn't always match. But un-matching looks totally awesome on kids {so i think anyways}. It shows their growing up stage and a bit of independence. Jameson has been saying some very silly things. Most recently- the kids where in the back seat and Hiedi was in between them. Jameson then says, "Hiedi is looking at me", "Hiedi is bothering me", "Hiedi smells!"... ROTFLOL {Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud}. I just love these kids. Jameson gave me a kiss on the cheeks the other day and told me that he loved me. I guess Stephen has to work harder at keeping me then.. haha!

I have been reading in Romans the past week.. I am just now starting reading chapter 3. I have been reading a few other books that talks about the chapters in Romans and just seeing where they match up to what God is saying. I also have been praying about what i need to get out of the chapter each day. I should do it like this more often for each book of the Bible. What i've been getting out of my reading in Romans is to depend on Him more and to seek Him out more. I want to be a Woman after God's own Heart, and i want to not be a chicken to tell people about Him. I am not perfect, but i know that He can use me still. Someone recently came up to me and told me about their past. I am ever so thankful for this friend and am glad that i can share with her how much the Lord has changed me and can change her too. It's not too late to change the way you think and to be pure for your future guy/girl.

I may not be able to see what my family see in Stephen, but i do not hate them for their view. Just because my past with guys were way off from what i really wanted- doesn't mean that this relationship is the same. If i was to break up with him, i don't want to do it just because my family don't like him.. if i was then it is going to be because it is God's Will that we are not together. I want to break it off together, not because of a silly fight, or because of cheating. I am not dating him just to proof myself wrong, or to proof my fam wrong, or just to have a boyfriend. I am dating him because i see so much in him that i want in a husband. Yeah there are a few things i don't like, but i know that we can work through them together. I am sure there are things about me that gets to him {not sure what they are..yet}. I know that my family don't want me to go through the hard times- but i know that the hard times that God gives me will only help me be a better woman for Him.

Anyways, someday... ...just someday... ...my family will see the change in my life. I surely can't wait for that day when they say, "there is just something about you!" untill then, i shall pray for them. I am not putting on a show- nor trying to make myself look better than what i am, because i surely am not all that great.

So i ended up getting the new Taylor Swift CD. I love it! I think that its super awesome how she is young and does alot of things. She also tries to interacts with her fans and gives things out all the time, and even have a certain "tea" time with random fans from her concerts. I love that she has a song called "Hey Stephen". With her new cd.. i love the song called "Mine" .. and she even has a video of it out. So cute! Guess that guy is one of few guys to say that they kissed Taylor Swift. :D I remember a friend of mine telling me that they met Taylor Swift.. i knew her song Teardrop on my Guitar, and Tim McGraw- but i didn't really know who she was. But now i do {well, not personally}- but i know what she looks like and i even know more of her songs. :D

Anyways-- i shall end it here before i ramble on some more on nothing super important. :P Until next time- have a wonderful and blessed and God-Fearing day/week! Remember who loved you 1st.... God!

2010-10-17T18:42:00.002-04:00

I am very much in love with someone very special. I am very blessed that he is in my life now and forever. He helps me be a better woman after God's own heart and encourages me. He makes me smile when i am down and he listens to me when i need to talk. I am deeply in love with Stephen.

I am however upset with my fam. They are judging him and telling me that i am making a huge mistake. They haven't talked with Stephen yet, nor asked me why i am so into him. The only person who asked me that was a friend of mine who i haven't seen in a long time. During a conversation about "is it right to tell someone who is saved that they are not saved and put doubt in their heart?" my little sister thought it would be the best time to put in her opinion of Stephen. So out of the blue she wrote "Dayna, it doesn't matter what me or Joy tells you, you will always follow your own heart, which is wicked and deceitful and you go ahead and marry all the jerk and unsaved people you like, because those that are saved are obviously too good for you." I am not sure why she brought that up, but she was calling Stephen a jerk and said that he isn't saved. How would she know that he isn't saved? Has she talked with him? Does she have the power to know what his relationship with the Lord is? Just two things is wrong there.. Stephen is not a Jerk and he is indeed saved. Whatever she has against Stephen she must have against mom too- because she too hasn't gone to church all the time and read her bible. That really doesn't mean that she isn't saved, and it doesn't mean that Stephen isn't saved either. I can't see why my family is so against Stephen, and when i do ask them- they can't really tell me why. They want me to take their advises, yet they can't stop judging Stephen without knowing who he is.

Yes- i am very glad that i didn't take Joy up on her offer to work for her, and i am also glad that i am far away from them all. I am going to be happy- and they can't tear me down anymore. I love Stephen.

On the plus side- I love my job! We had 12days of sunshine before a month of rain and wind and rain and rain and more rain. There is more snow on the mountians now, and the temparture is getting colder. I saw a Baby deer today as i went to pick up my friend Sriana. God is very Good and knows that we need a pick-me-up from time to time. :D

In SS we are going over John and looking at who Jesus was/is. Tuesdays we are going over Experiencing God. Wednesday we went over Jonah for a while. Thrusday we are going over Matthew. In my personal reading i am going over Romans. I am very much enjoying my time with the Lord. It's funny how Kaytie and Joy and Mom thought that i wasn't reading the Bible when i was down there in TX. Just because they didn't SEE me reading, doesn't mean that i wasn't reading. I didn't see Joy or Mom reading the Bible at all- does that mean that they didn't read either? No- just means that i didn't see them read.

Well... just to end this post on a good note.... I love my son! I miss him loads and often go over the time i did had with him. All those times he kicked me, all those times i saw him on the ultra sound moving around, the whole birth and the pain and the blessing of seeing him for the 1st time, all those times i held him within my arms and look into his blue eyes. I Love Elijah D. E.!

2010-06-21T23:20:00.002-04:00

Can you guess what i did this summer? Yup.. I went to Asia! It was so awesome to go there. It i s such a huge cultural shock- everyone speaks another language. They drive very wild and their laws is so different than USA {not sure its a good thing}. The historial places were pretty awesome, and the wild plants were very awesome to see.

A friend i met there showed us around this huge garden- with tons of Cherry trees and other places and some historal buildings. I really much had a great time taking tons of pictures. We were able to get into deeper conversations. This freind was hitting on me until he found out that i had a boyfriend. I realized how great a help i was to bring guys over- made it very easy to get my friend talking to them in their language on some deep important issues.

I was able to hang out with some kids a few times. My friend that went with me noticed how my face light up when i am around kids. My friend was able to get to know me and saw things about me that she didn't even know about. We were able to talk alot and point each other to Christ. I am so blessed with my friends that i've made!

1st week there, we taught in some classes and did an Alaskian theme {shocker ah?}. Met tons of people. 2nd week we just did fellowups with those that we met in the classes. a few took us on a tour to a few places, and some just ate with us. A few friends even came over to the house and made dinner. we taught them how to play "Spoons".. one of the greatest card game ever created!

I had a great time and surely wouldn't change anything. We rode in some insane taxi rides, some wild bus rides, and did some suicide walking as we crossed some roads. We ate some AMAMZING food... Asian food in USA will never be the same. I was able to watch them make their noodles {or should i say, one very long noodle}.

The trip back was ever so long and much longer when we missed a few flights and had to take other flights. Last flight i was in Anchorage {1st time-- but friends where out of town} for 6hours.. I was ever so glad to land back home and was ever so surprised that a group of my friends was there waiting for me. It was ever so awesome! I was able to run into a guy that i had given a ride to a week before i left for my Asian trip- thought it was cool that he noticed me and even remembered my name.

Vegas trip was amazing... and i surely am missing Stephen tons. We was able to play card games, go for walks, eat out together, cuddle, and watch The Lion King on stage {super amazing and way better than the movie}. Stephen had a rose sent to my room after he had left- was shocked and super happy... 1st rose from a guy {not related}! Yays!! So one more trip before i am fully back to work and ready for a crazzie time with kids and kids and more kids.

It is brighter longer here... meaning, the pic above is what it looks like here at Midnight. Yeah-- I love living here! :D

2010-03-12T01:15:00.003-05:00

This year i have learned how to play Pinochle and I LOVE IT! I would play it all day long if i could. I don't care if i lose or win, i love playing. I also love playing Dominoes and could also play that all day long {pretty much did on NewYears... wow-6hours or so}. In the pic, you can see a bad hand that I had.. Matthew and I was winning, then we started losing and well- kept the losing part going on. But it was a great time with my friends.

It has FINALLY snowed here this week. We didn't get a whole lot, enough to shovel tho- but not like Texas. *haha*. It is indeed BEAUTIFUL here- looking at the snow covered mountians. Everything seems to be brighter now. :D I Love it! Yesterday, the kids and I shoveled for the 1st time since 2008 {i didn't shovel at all in 2009-yup.. spoiled}, it was so much fun and i was able to throw a few snowballs at the kids. I love how they "help" shovel the snow, the just throw the snow where'ver-even the pile of snow i just made.. haha. I can't wait to have kids of my own to do this with. :D I know for a fact that i am going to be having more kids- unless Christ comes before i do, or if i die.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be famous.. but at the same time i don't want to be famous at all. I enjoy being able to go places without people knowing who i am and without a million cameras fellowing me around--yet, at the same time i think it would be awesome to have people know who i was. Well.. i am glad that i am who i am, and i wouldn't change that for anything.

I love seeing couples together {like Jake and Vienna, Todd and Jody B....etc}. I learned alot about what True Love is... it's not just kissing and cuddling and whatnots... it's a relationship, enjoying the presence of each other, and the desire to stay with each other. Just like my love for God is a relationship, enjoying each other and the desire to stay. Kissing and hugging and holding hands and cuddling and whatnots are just bonuses in the relationship. Sex should be after marriage, not before. People who have sex before marriage are really not ready to be a parent, and some are put into that situation just bc they had sex before marriage {tho, some have been rapped}-- but those that have sex, willingly, are really not ready to be a mom/dad. I know i wasn't ready to be a mom- even tho i wanted to be a mom someday. I love being a mom now, even though i made the toughest dicision a parent could have made for their child.

Elijah is 11months old today. I miss him very much... but at the same time, i know what i did was whats best for him. I am very proud to tell people that i am A MOM of a handsome son, and i love showing him off. As i am working on a scrapbook, or working on my album for when i go over seas this summer, i often want to take some AMAZING pictures of my son.. like of his little feet and hands, him sleeping...etc.. I have learned so much about taking some amazing pics this past year.. i only wish that i had taken pictures of him myself when i had him... but i was enjoying him being in my arms that me taking pictures was the last thing on my mind. I am glad that my mom was there taking some pics.. may not be the best pics, but it's all i have of him. I love him so much! Much more now than i did when he was still in my tummy {and trust me, i fell in love with him as soon as i knew i was pregnant}.

How can people abort kids??? That is ever so sad and so mean. How can people be for abortion? Do they not have a heart? I can tell you 100% that their mom didn't abort them... what would've happen had their mom aborted them {like Oh Big "butt" Mistake Amercia!--i mean Obama!}. I am very glad that my mom didn't abort me! Aren't you glad that your mom didn't abort you??? I am totally against Obama... i can't see what good he is doing for America besides making us poorer and killing us. Yays!! more taxes, more wasting money on stupid things, more murder {abortion}! lets celebrate and worship Obama for saving us!! I THINK NOT!! ... just so you know,, i do pray for Obama {or so much}, but i am not for him. I am not against the fact that he is black, i am just against what he is doing and what he is for {abortion}. that is just a HUGE thing that i am against. another thing is health care--- PLEASE! lets pay people to kill their babies! I can't see how in the world people want someone like this to be their president {because clearly he won for a reason}. If the world just wanted a black to be president, then why not let someone who is against abortion be it?

Ok.. enough about politics.. i don't know what all is going on anyways.. off to bed i go.

2010-03-09T21:45:00.003-05:00

WOW! It is already March! 2 days till Elijah turns 11months. Crazzie how times fly by. Someone mentioned something about me being a mom- and i told them that i am A mom, but those these kid's mom. they looked at me very strangely and i told them that my son is living withhis adoptive parents and that i take care of these kids here. Jameson then came up to me at that time, making me leave the conversation hanging at that- so i wonder what went through their mind at that time! Some people think that it's rude of me to have given up Elijah, as others see it as me being very loving. What do you think? Personally, I know for a fact that what i did was what was best for him. I love him ever so dearly and am missing him ever so much. I take care of these kids and often wonder what crazzie things Elijah is going to do at these ages.

Delaney had a few hard days lately... she fell asleep in my apartment after she had taken her "rest". It was much needed her for. and of course- i had my camera handy, haha!

So.. I've watched The Bachelor.. I can honestly tell you that Stephen is just like Jake in so many ways- Good looking, sweet attitude, smart, caring, good values and did i say Good looking?? Anyways, I had liked Vienna, Ali, Ella, Gia and Tenley from day 1. Was very sad Ella left early. Got confused about Ali because she was being so rude to Vienna- but something about her stuck. Vienna was very sweet and totally herself from day 1 {i can just tell, so don't ask}. Final 3 girls were on my top 5... Gia, Tenley and Vienna. {Sweetness!} People in the world is ever so rude to people and love to bring someone down.. so sad indeed! I am happy for Vienna and Jake- i can see some of me in Vienna... mainly- she has grown from a HUGE mistake in her own life, and i have grown from a HUGE mistake in my own life. I surely would love to be friends with Vienna and Jake.

Stephen and I are still going strong! He has brought so many smiles to my heart. My top fav. thing to do with him is read something from the Bible.. we can't do it every night, but when we do- I love it! I keep getting asked when we are going to be getting married- honestly, not anytime soon. We are taking things slowly and just enjoying each other as the time goes by. He will meet my family and i will meet his mom before we do plan out our wedding. Meeting his sister will be awesome.. she sounds like she is alot like my cousin Maria. I will be seeing Stephen this summer for a day or two {wish it would be longer than that} and i am looking forward to that. Get to explore a new town together!

I LOVE working here in Alaska! It's been ever so beautiful here this winter. I think Texas has gotten more snow than we have {even with the snow we have gotten today}.. Crazzie! Here Jameson and I was at the park while family was ice-skating. So amazing to see how much they have grown up within the {almost} 2yrs i've been here. I can honestly say that i am going to miss this family once i stop working for them. They feel more like my own family more than my boss.

A friend and I are planning on a mission's trip this summer. Things are working out so far.. and i have this HUGE feeling that this is where the Lord wants me to go this summer. {not just a feeling, but a strong desire}... I know that it's not Satan, because Satan will not give me a desire to do something right or to plant seeds in people's hearts/lives. I am excited about it and don't have any worries about it. Mom is worried that something will happen, and so is Stephen. If i was to die, then i would be dying doing the right thing- praising my Father! All the Glory goes to Him and HIM ALONE!

He is always reminding me that He is here with me and loves me. He wants whats best for me- just like i want whats best for Elijah. So, for those who think that i have not changed- think again! I keep thinking about how to better my relationship with Him! Best way is to continue reading His Love notes- for He had written those just for me... "I once was lost, but now i am found!" How can i not want to fellow the ONE who has found me!

I am glad that i am not famous or have millions of people wanting to watch my every move. I am free to go to the store, or hang out with my friends without anyone bothering me. I love being me! There isn't anyone in the world i want to be.. not even the "sexiest" woman--- i am glad that i am sexy in my own personal way. But, you have to get to know me 1st in order to see it.. *grins* - I have a great life.... all because I have my Savior with me... without Him I'd be lost and life wouldn't be worth living!

2010-02-04T17:41:00.002-05:00

2009

So much has happened within a year. I started the year off with praying to the Lord and hanging out with my church family, playing games and talking. I gave birth to a wonderful little boy and was able to spend Easter with him. The toughest thing i've ever done was to let him go. I didn't want him to go, but i knew it was whats best for him.

I spent 4th of July with the family. Kjerstin came over and hanged out with me for a while. We watched the fireworks together and just had a blast. I loved being able to watch the fireworks from the couch. I grew up walking around town with the twins and Kaytie and watching the Firework that way.

I was able to fly down to see Stephen a few times. I love getting to know him better, and just spending time with him. He is such a HUGE encouragment and very helpful. My favorite thing to do with Stephen would have to be playing pool or bowling. His dad got his this pj.. so he is showing it off to me. Love it!! :D Transformers! He came up here for my birthday, and i loved it tons more. We were able to hang out more and really get to see each other more than 2-3hours in a day}

Met up with my friend Matthew and took pictures of the kids for a Christmas gift to the parents. It was a blast and was able to get some very amazing pictures of the kids. After some time of shooting their pics, we just went ahead and played with balls on the other side of the gym. It was a huge blast and i enjoyed pretending to be a pro-photographer {as Matt let me take pics with his awesome camera}

I've lost a good 115lbs since HS and with being pregnany. Yays! I'm pretty proud of myself for that.. tho i am still pretty chubby. But i feel skinny, and often forget that i am indeed chubby. Crazzie ah? {pic- showing off my chubbiness, yet skinniness}

And thats 2009 for ya.. Now it is 2010 and i am looking forward to new blessings, new trails, new hope, new sadness, new happiness, new adventures, new friends, new attitudes, new days, new everything! :D It is already Feb.. so the year is already starting off pretty fast.

I love living in Alaska, and love how each day is like an adventure. I surely never thought in a million years that i would be this close {pic} to ice-bergs, or even the glacier-- nor even be here in AK.

I love working with these kids here.. They are alot of fun {when they are not in their crazzie moods}. I enjoy being around them, and love doing things with them {even the same puzzle 20times..crazzie}. They seem to always be begging for my attention- for surely when i am cooking lunch, or trying to get something done. But they are pretty good with playing with each other, and pretty good with hurting each other {i mean, what kid isn't good at that??}

I am ever so addicted to watching The Bachelor that i often dream about it.. like last nite, i dreamt that i had applied to go on the show and was single.. but ended up dating Stephen.. the people who works there told me to still come on the show anyways.. so i did.. the guy {which i had randomly pick his name to be James} ended up asking me to be like a spy after i told him that i had found someone. So i ended up staying on the show longer and told him whats goes on behind the scenes. Well- it came down to 5 girls.. i got the one-on-one date with him, and he told me that he loved me {which they don't do till they pick you at the end}. During the rose ceremony, he had called my name- i was in tears by this time, because i knew what i was going to do... be the 1st person to say "no". I thought of James as a very good friend, and surely didn't want to hurt him... but before i could say "no" to when he asked me if i would accept the rose-- my alarm went off. Crazziness! I don't normally dream like that.. i often dream about other things- and often something that makes no sence. O-wells. thats life i guess.. :D

So here's to another brand new year to do something new and grow and help someone new with something in their life {rather it's a need of a friend or a need of a Savior}.

2009-11-27T19:39:00.005-05:00

LOVE!!

I had flew down to California to see him for 2 weeks {had 2 more weeks off of work}. I had a blast helping out with YEC, and a lovely time with Stephen. We played pool and a game of bowling. we ate out a few times, made dinner togther, watched movies, sang, and just hanged out whenever he wasn't at work. I had even walked up to his work one day and surprised him {tho, his boss told him that a girl was looking for him.. haha}. It was great being able to spend 2 weeks with him again. He is a sweet man.

He came up here to Alaska for my birthday. It was AMAZING!! I wouldn't change anything besides more time with him. We watched movies, played with the kids, shopped, ate out, sight-seeing, and just hanged out together. I truly am missing him ever so much. Not having him here is very sad. I love having him around. I love playing around with him and just being silly.

For my birthday, we took the family out and played a game of bowl. It was a blast watching the kids playing for the 1st time. Lil Delaney would roll the ball ever so silly... one time the ball stopped before hitting the pins down.. haha. Lil Jameson would yell out "I win" everytime he rolled the ball down... and he would say that before the ball even made it half way down the lane. Super cute.

Stephen and I ate lunch with the Pastor and his wife on my birthday. It was very awesome just being able to hang out with them for a bit and talked with them.. letting them get to know Stephen {and even me} a bit. For Dinner, i went to Barb's place... i go each Sunday night. This time i was super excited to be able to let Stephen meet more people i hang out with, and get to know them a bit.. Stephen had tooken a nap, and ended up not going because he wouldn't get up. I was ever so disappointed. I cried the way there, and was just bummed out during dinner. But then ended up having a great time once we started playing Dominoes. I think that is my new fav. game to play with them {enough to make me look forward to playing it}. I didn't win.... Jeremy ended up going out mega fast, and making me have 103pts in one round.. haha. It's alright- i had fun. I forgave Stephen for not going, but deep down felt sad about it all.. he truly missed out on a blessing, and for what? Sleep.. He surely could've slept in. But really, this is the only thing that got to me about him.

I've been learning how to edit pictures a bit.. doing more in-depth stuff.. This week we went over how to make eyes {or something} pop... So i did a pic of me and made my eyes pop.. SUPER awesome. it was ever so easy.. Surely will be doing this more often. We also did a pic in a bubble.. We had to make the bubble 1st, and then add the picture.. This 2 was easy.. at 1st i had to redo certain steps a few times in order to get it.. but now know what to do.. YAYS! I picked this one with Jameson and Stephen... I LOVE IT... the kids took a liken to him. When we went to pick him up at the airport- the kids were very exited to see him. {but not as much as i was}. I surely am missing him loads now- since he left to ho back to "life". I have a 4 day weekend.. YAYS! Ate dinner with the family, then hanged out with people at church. today i just hanged out here and slept in. tomorow i am going to hang out with Rekann {since she is in town.. YAYS!}, and then go to church on Sunday. and thats my life as of right now!!

Elijah had his 1st Thanksgiving.. I wonder what went on... like what their tradition is. Guess i'll have to find out another time.

2009-10-14T17:15:00.001-04:00

Just to make you smile:

This is a list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. The spellings are the original ones.

1. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

2. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

3. When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

4. Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.

5. A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

6. Liter: A nest of young puppies.

7. Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

8. Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

9. Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

10. The pistol of the flower is its only protection against insects.

11. A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

12. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

13. For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower that the heart until the heart stops.

14. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

15. Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

16. The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

17. Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

2009-10-14T13:46:00.002-04:00

I am ever so excited.. I am going to surprise Stephen. He doesn't know when I am coming, though he knows that I am coming {only because I had ended up asking if he'll take Holloween off of work}. I am playing with ideas of what to do when I get there.... but I an considereing one of them. I just can't wait to hang out with him again in person. His roomie will be there when I get in, so I know I won't be locked outside for a few hours or whatnots.

Kids are going to their other grandparents. I am very glad for this break, yet- am scared that the grandma is going to mess up the whole nap time I have going on. I finally got it to the point where I can just put Jameson in the bed, tuck him in, and leave without him fellowing me out. Delaney is either watching a movie or had a story before sleeping {depends on her mood wither after school or throughout the morning}. The grandma loves to sleep, so I am scared that she'll get the kids used to sleeping with her for naps- and then expect it from me when they get back. They both were very cranky the 1st month they were back from their other grandparents, thati am also scared they'll be like that again. O-BOY!!

ANYWAYS-- I am super excited to see Stephen again. I am missing him tons, and it's only been a few months since I last saw him. Yeah, I am crazzie about him. *grins* I am also excited about being able to use his camera again... it's gonna be fun! I've been getting very creative with picture taking lately.. yays! Recently finished my own little project of the ABCs.. Its so awesome.. I am thinking about doing Numbers.. but I am not sure how I want to do it just yet.. either 1.2.3 or One.Two.Three. or One item. Two items.Three items. etc.. will think about it some more.

Well- thats that for now! :D

2009-10-08T21:16:00.002-04:00

Oh man.. i am having way to much fun with taking pictures and editing them. I've started my own lil project- along with at least a picture a day.. I am doing the ABCs.. like A= Animals.. B=Books..etc.. I am not all the way done, but i am getting there. Sometimes, something just comes to me- or i just know what i want to do for a letter. A girl on this mom-site i am going to, encouraged me to go with this plan i had by asking us to find something that starts with a Z.. i pretty much cheated and looked online to see what all started with a 'Z" besides zebra and zoo... there was a small list somewhere, and on it was a Zipper.. "OH DUH!!" i thought to myself.. i should've known that. It's so crazzie how something so simple can be, and we miss it or forget it. For now i am posting my ABCs on FB.. but will post them here when i have them all.. I am also going to print them up so i can add them to the journal i am doing for my favorite boy! {thats because i only have one boy right now}.

Oh man.. I can't wait to go to these places in these pics. Stephen had tooken both of them.. just seeing these pics, i already have creative way of taking pics that i want to see how they turn out. This one with the bridge is one of my fav that he tooken.. I was thinking to myself as i was looking through his pics of the bridge of how awesome it'll be to get a pic from the side.. and BAM- this pick came up. I love it.. I shall play around with editing it. {i know he won't kill me for it..haha}

So this other lady posted this site about this guy who did a wedding for someone {taking pics} and he was sooooooooooooooo bad. heads missing, etc.. It didn't look like any professional took it.. maybe he was from Wal-Mart.. anyways, he made the wedding look like it was in the 80s or something and not recently.. I for surely wouldn't want someone taking pics of my wedding like that. I have a few people in my head that i would love to do my wedding pics, tho i may just end up having Sarah do them- I love her work, and she really inspired me alot recently with getting into photography. I am playing around with edits, but also am taking this online class with a group- super awesome! Downloaded 2 sites, one is mega easy to learn and the other is mega confusing {but i am sure through this class thing, i'll understand it... then know what people mean by layering- and whatnots}. I found out what burning does- and its totally not what i thought it was.. it's mainly to soften the color... i thought it was to burn the edges as if you would put a picture in a fire and let the edges burn a bit. haha- crazzie me!

I am pretty nervous about going to the Nanny school soon.. I am not for surely sure what to expect besides classes. at least i won't have to worry about having a job or two just to kinda pay a bill. so yays!! so thats about $10,000 i don't have to worry about- YAYS! It's for 3 months, and going to be fun. At least i will also have a job right away and not have to go through a company or whatnots. Super yays! Then i plan on maybe starting my own scrapbooking business here.. Will make flyers or whatnots and see if i can make some scrapbook for peoples. I may not be a professional- but i surely would love to make scrapbooks as a side-business/hobby. So photography and editing will help alot i am sure! Even if i just use make a few of their pics to be background {like of a sunset or something}, i can edit so it's not too over-powering the other pics that will be over it. Oh-man, i am excited about it! :D

So Shayna called me today.. as we were talking, her other phone ranged. so she asked if she could call back when she is done... yeah- a few hours later and still no call.. but it's alright! Maybe she got busy and forgot {which i do many times}. But it was pretty cool to hear from her. Kevin is coming up in a few weeks.. i am hoping i can see Elijah- if not, then maybe pictures at least {that would be pretty cool}. I surely do miss him, and wonder what it would've been like had i kept him... I may not be this strong in my walk with God, and i may not be this into photography, i surely wouldn't be able to do alot of things with the college kids {mainly because i would be taking care of him}. but he surely is blessed where he is at. :D i sure do love my lil Elijah.. he will forever be my 1st born, my 1st son. Now i fully understand why it was mega hard on pharoah when the 1st born child was killed in Egypt, and why it was very hard on Mary to see Jesus on the cross {so i would think anyways, as a mom}.

2009-09-24T22:00:00.006-04:00

So I joined this one group of this site i've been going to.. and they have a thing going on where you take a pic each day.. part of a 365 project.. So i've been doing it with the group since it started-- Sept 6th.. And i surely am getting into it, and just can't miss a day.. I am always taking pics, and loading them onto another site to post one pic. I am having a blast with editing pictures since i downloaded a few editing programs {free}.. yays! So here are the pics i have taken so far.. sorry.. not in order- but ya get the idea.. :D

2009-09-05T02:50:00.002-04:00

So, someone posted a think asking us to show our favorite shoes... I picked this one over my brown shoes.. Why? because I wear these everywhere and everyday. They are so comfortable. I am glad that i had brough a pair like these back in college- bc i am hooked on this kind of shoes now. I am having a blast taking pictures in new ways, and editing pictures. I am very glad that i joined this one site for moms. For me, i truely think this pic {of the shoes} is one of the best edits i've done. I just love how the colors just POPS... kinda as if i had tooken this pic from a magazine {which i didn't, those are indeed my shoes---tiny}

I got into watching this show about the guy who found Titanic.. It reminded me of how much we should be searching for God everyday. I mean... noone had found the ship, and this guy wanted to be the 1st to find it so bad. The Navy ended up helping him, if he only found 2 subs and tell why they disappeared {he went under cover for that, and couldn't tell anyone about his mission}.. by the time he found the sus, he only had 2 weeks to find the Titanic.. But taking in what he learned from looking for the subs- he was indeed able to find the Titanic. He was so determine to find it, that he wouldn't give up throughout that 2 weeks {and yes, he did find it.. back in 1985---sweet year!}. We should also be so determine to look for God each day- yet it isn't hard to find Him.. we should really be wanting to go to Him and do what He wants... Yeah, i know- i am bad at explaining this, but i truly believe that we should daily be seeking Him... and watching this show had help me see that more so.

I really need to seek Him out more. I am planing on getting this serious on this guy who preaches.. not just preaches- but puts a new AWE in2 people's lives... like this one he did about the universe, then about the body.. Laminin is indeed my new favorite thing about my body... I am being held by MILLIONS n MILLIONS of tiny crosses, and guess what??? you are too.. {rather you are a believer or not, black or white, tall or short, skinny or fat, old or young..etc}.

People worry about stupid things... "This pic isn't perfect" or "my job is laying people off".. Don't you think that God will take care of it all? A picture is only perfect as you want it to be, and if you do loose your job, then wouldn't God take care of you? Oh how much we take for granted, and how much we forget things. I forgot how much i love Him.. and having to give up Elijah helped me realized how much i do love Him.. He gave me life, and He provides for everything. I just want to walk with Him, and i just want to know Him... more than anyone.. I want to make people jealous {enough for them to want more time with Him}. I don't want to worry anymore, or be scared {tho, that is easier said than done}. I WANT TO BE A WOMAN AFTER GOD'S OWN HEART!! And for me to do that- i will indeed need help.. i will need to get into the Bible more, and i will need to be encouraged.

Well.. thats life for now..

Yesterday was mega crazzie.. had kids till about 5:30, then went to the Bible Study at 9:30-11:30, then a group of us went to the church and painted a few walls outside... got home at 2:30am then had to be up by 6:30. But, praise the Lord i only had to watch Jameson for a few hours while Delaney was at church, and then put them down for a nap after lunch- and then Daron came home just as kids got up.. yays! took a nap, then went for a walk {since it had stopped raining}. that was my day. Yays for a weekend!!

2009-09-02T14:16:00.007-04:00

Yeah, I know it's been a while since I last posted...been pretty busy lately.

Let see- Forth of July came- it was a blast being here in AK. Daron and Jenice had a few people came over, and I had my best friend Kjerstin come over.. we watched fireworks with the family. The kids loved it, and I enjoyed hearing their "Ooohs" and "Aaahs" and "Wows". We went to the parade. Delaney was going to be in it, but decided at the last minute she didn't want to be in it.. So Jenice and Delaney was a few blocks from where Daron, Jameson and I was at. There were TONS of people {good thing there was no cruise ships at that time}

Jameson had wanted to get water out of the wagon, so he would climb in and then climb out.. then have Daron open it,, then when he was done he would climb back into the wagon to put the bottle of water back.. Super cute!!
Kjerstin and I went to the Sandy Beach where there are things going on.. so we let Delaney hang out with us. there wasn't a whole lot to do, but I am glad that we were able to take Delaney. Of course, Delaney was super excited about riding a horse for the 1st time. She loved it tons. {I wish I have a nice camera to take pics,, but I am glad that my phone takes pictures}.

After riding the horse, we walked up the street a bit to watch the fire-fighter's race. What is a fire-fighter's race?? Well, it's where they have 2 teams of 4 people, and they see who can connect the hoses together the fastest and spray the water. It was all just for fun, and it was fun to watch..

Then a week after 4th of July, I was able to go to CA and see Stephen. It was a blast. He has a very nice Nikon camera that he let me use.. and boy was I taking pictures. I went for walks when he was at work and snaped pictures, being creative or just snapping them at the right moment. I so wanted to ask to take it with me, since he barely use it- and i surely would put it to use {since i use my phone camera a TON}

Seeing Stephen again surely was a blessing. I got to know him better in person, and got to spend alot more time with him in person. Even though he had to work alot, we were able to spend a ton more time together than if I hadn't gone down there.

We watched movies, talked, cooked, danced, played around together {lagos}, and just spent time together. We also drove down to his dad's fiance's place and stayed there over the weekend. It was awesome being able to meet his dad. When we got there, Stephen went ahead and snooped around the house looking for his sword {which is a nice sword indeed}.

While we were at his dad's, we went to play bowling. It was AWESOME. I lost all 3 games, but it was so much fun that I don't care that I lost {i did got a few strikes in it-yays}. Lonnie {Stephen's dad} is super good at it, that he kept creaming us. It was very good.

I enjoy flying.. but leaving CA was ever so hard.. Stephen gave me a god-bye hug, and i didn't want to let go nor walk away. I miss him ever so much. even tho we talk on the phone at times, and text alot- its not the same as being there with him.

I had a week to myself with the crazzie dog... it was alright. i was able to clean alot, and hang out with Kjerstin before she left for NY. The day after i got back, I was able to see Rekann for a short time before she left bc of work. It was a nice week- tho i wished i had that time with Stephen... A few days before Rekann left, we went to the Glacier one night and saw some bears. It was very awesome being able to see them up close.

There was a Baby bear in the tree {pic} and a Mom bear walking around below the tree {close to us, but not close enough to harm us}. Then we saw the bears eat some fish- very amazin. The smell was bad- because of the dead fishes that was laying around. But over all- it was a great memory. I got Kjerstin a shirt she had wanted, so i gave it to her the night before she left.

I had gotten a recent picture of Elijah while i was in CA. He is ever so handsome.. still have my hair, eyes {color} and smile. I wish he was smiling at me, but i am sure he was just smiling at Kevin who was holding him. I so much wish i kept him, but at the same time- i know this is what is best for him. I had joined this site for moms, and a group i joined is on adoption.. alot of the members were adopted- so it is very interesting hearing their stories. And the sadest story i heard was how this one girl doesn't want to call her real mom "mom".. Oh- i so would love it if Elijah would call me "mom" when he meets me. He will ALWAYS be my SON-- not just Elijah or just another kid... he is MINE, and my 1st born. I see why God wants us to give Him our 1st fruits... I gave Him Elijah and He will bless me later on in life {i just know it}. Giving him up was the HARDEST thing ever- but hearing those adoption stories, Elijah has it ever so good.. He will have 2 parents loving him and 3 siblings... and also 2 real parents loving him and 3 half siblings. He will have a journal from me- and pictures of his birth. some of the adoptee's don't even know much of their young lives or much about their real mom. That is just mega sad.

The Sun has been shining here and there lately.. YAYS! I had tooken the kids out for a walk. They love walking to the bridge.. while we were on the bridge, Delaney just had to stop to look at a random bug. It's interesting watching the kids and how they interact with things. I am also learning how to edit pictures and have been playing around with different pictures i either have or have taken recently. {pic in a pic is something i recently found out about editing-YAYS!}

We had went to Downtown to walk around... there is a lil deck for boats. So we went on it and looked at the view and at the HUGE cruise ships. They are always asking to go on the deck now- or what joy it is to find cheap {free} places to go to.

I also had tooken them to the beach the other day. The sun is up, and so i am going to enjoy the sun while we still have it. It's been rainy lately. yesterday i tooken them to Eagle Beach and we saw a Star-Fish. Today, there were some Whales in the channel just outside the house. It was VERY awesome to see.. Jameson loved it loads, Delaney was in school at the time {so she missed out on it}.

The awesome thing about being here in AK is that wild life is EVERYWHERE... There are Eagles flying around, fish in the water, Whales, Dophines, Seals, Deers, Bears, and bugs {tons of spiders-- YUCK!}. I am learning more and more about being a mom {tho, it's not with my kids}. Jameson is about ready to be potty-trained.. so Jenice said she is going to get me a book about training the kids for that. And since i am with the kids most of the time, i get to be the main cheerleader. I feel bad for the parents, because they want to be here with the kids and take care of them- yet they want to continue working.

Well.. that is that.. there still is tons more to tell- but this will do for now.. :D

Inkubook Photobooks

2009-06-18T23:45:00.001-04:00

2009-05-17T20:02:00.005-04:00

I am indeed loving the time i have with these kids. They seem like they are my own alot- being that i am ALWAYS with them. I just know that i will be this crazzie taking pictures of my own kids like i am with these two. I am playing around with different settings to change the pictures a bit, and am enjoying that. I am blessed with my friend Alicia- she got me into doing some crazzie pics- like shooting at a different angle or something. I remember sitting in class a few times and she would lean over {before class starts} and show me pictures she has taken over a few days with her phone. And now that my phone sends bigger pictures {rather than tiny pics that makes ya wish they were bigger}, i am able to take more pics with my phone. just sometimes sending them to my FB takes forever, and sometimes need to be resend a few times before it sends. o-wells!! :D

I am doing a whole lot more things with the kids now {being that i am no longer pregnant and do have more energy-YAYS!} I felt bad during those last few weeks of being pregnant- i was getting mega tired so fast.. makes me wonder how some ladies are able to take care of so many kids and be preg. at the same time... Congrats if you can keep up with the kids and be preg. :D Tho, the parents here were very impressed that i worked till that Friday and had the baby on Sat... i even wrapped up some birthday gifts as i was having contractions every 4-5mins. WOW-- if you ever need strength, try doing that yourself!! :D I've been taking the kids to the park a few times, and going for walks to the bridge {which is just down the street, down the hill, and over a little bit}.. The kids love it, and enjoys throwing the little rocks on the bridge into the water. I love how they have the extra railing- keeps the cars from hitting us!! YAYS!!

We even have been creative with games.. like this one time on the way back from the bridge, Delaney was complaining about how tired she was of walking. So i asked her, "what can fit into my pocket?" She was confused.. "can a car fit into my pocket?" "No... but Jameson's toy cars can!!"... etc.... She totally forgot that she was tired of walking.. When we are inside, she imagination gets to her at times.. like it's raining and we need to get under the umbrella... or the Lions are after us and we need to find food for them before they eat us. there are a few shows she really likes {Like Cillou} that she just has to watch.

I even let Delaney paint my nails.. for a 4 year old, she is very good. I am not very girly, but painting my nails are ok... just i don't have to have them painted. {I don't even wear makeup-- shocker ah??}. Well, Delaney loves to dress up, do my hair up, paint my nails, dance, or put on makeup {but i let her put makeup on when her mom is home-when i am off work}. If i told you that these kids are very good- you may not believe me.. but they are. My mom was very impressed at how well behaved they were. We went to meet up with Charity and Kevin one time {when Kevin got here} and the kids were very well behaved in front of them... i think they both were excited about seeing Elijah. Jameson kept saying "baby" as he pointed to Elijah... But with Jameson- you show him a picture of himself and he'll say "baby" and point to himself. Very cute indeed. Jameson is SLOWLY... ever so SLOWLY.... saying more words. He surely is taking after me in that area {and he isnt even my kid..} It tooken me a while before i talked... i figured- why talk when people can tell what you want when you point to something, or when you grab them, or when you just try to find a way to get it yourself..

So I am done working on the scrapbook that i am doing of Elijah.. when Kevin and Charity send me pictures of Elijah over the years, i'll have a place to scrapbook them. I will make copies and put it into the journal i am doing, as well as sending them to Juan. I only did a few pages already, and even included a few poems i had written. I went to a fundraiser at the Birth Center one weekend, and was able to show off my scrapbook.. i met this other girl who is 22 years old and has a 7 month old boy {a cutie}.. Her mom was there too and after hearing the story of Elijah said that her lil sister was adopted. It was cool hearing a bit of her side of the story. The other day i had a wonderful dream about Elijah being 4 years old. went to a get together, and i was married with 2 kids of my own- and i was off playing with all the kids and loving the moments i had with Elijah. in my dream, it was as if i was Stephen.. it was very strange- yet felt so real.

I went to Eagle Beach yesterday. I went on my own.. got the directions from Daron and off i was. I ended up missing the turn to the parking area- so when i got to the end of the road {yes, the road stops--no more road} i knew i missed it.. so i turned around and ended up parking at a random spot where i saw a beach area {parked just off the free-way or the road..whatever you wanna call it}. I sat near the water, and enjoyed the sun, the eagles, the dophins, the birds, and wrote in my journal. It was very peaceful. A guy with a dog was out a ways- guess him and his fam was camping out there {had a tent and all}.. but noone else was in site.. mega awesome!! :D When i drove past Auke-Bay.. there were TONS of cars there.. Haha people.. i had my own beach for the day!!

Well- thats that for now!! :D My life right now is mainly around these kids {and maybe babysitting another kid--YAYS!!}, reading books {and the Bible}, and talking to Stephen whenever i can. I haven't been able to hang out with the college kids- guess they don't like hanging out with kids much. Kjerstin comes hangs out once in a blue moon {but she leaves for school in Aug.. :(.. owells}. Delaney loves Kjerstin, she mainly hangs all over her when she is here {which is very strange, because Delaney loves to be shy around new people and around my friends}

2009-05-12T22:04:00.003-04:00

Tonight i am going to Avery and Rachelle's place for the Bible Study. Maybe over the summer i can get to know them a bit more- and we can really be freinds. {pic is when i started going to the Basketball-gathering.} Avery is gonna cook up some hamburgers-- sweetness! Yays for earlier Bible Study... which means- i can get a bit more sleep for when i have to get up tomorrow.. YAYS FOR SLEEP!! {by the way, i am enjoying sleeping on my stomach again... oh how i missed it so}

Well, i plan on seeing how the Woman's SS class is like, and see if that is where i want to go each week. I do like the College class SS- but i feel kinda alone in there. I dunnos, i'll just see where the Lord wants me to be. I've always been able to really get along with those who could be my parents, and those i could be a parent to.

Someday i shall get myself a very good camera and take awesome pictures.. I am indeed excited about using Stephen's camera when i go see him soon. He told me that i could use it, so i for surely will.. :D told him that his camera might end up being packed away in my suitcase.. lol..

So yesterday i took the kids to the park at Sandy-Beach... met up with Shayna and her son Reed.. Shayna told me that Reed was all talking about me and asking when he was going to see Dayna.. then when he saw me, he got all shy. haha. But as he was leaving, he came and gave me a hug. YAYS!! He sure is a cutie. Shayna and I talked for a little bit {in between running after a kid or two}. she told me that she suggested me to this other lady at the BC about babysitting her kid... and i told Shayna that i am on board with that.. yays for babysitting other kids {new faces, and new pics..yays.. --tho, my face is always great to look at, as well as the kids i watch..}.

OH.. my blinds came in yesterday. Daron hooked it up today.. turned out its the wrong blinds... but at least it's a little {like 20%} better than without it. They had ordered the black-out blinds, but gotten a normal double blinds {hence 20%}.

My Little Elijah is a month old now.. WOW!! how time flies by. Seems like the other day i just given birth to him, and feeling the most strangest feeling in the WORLD {which is his head sticking out and moving before his body came out of my womb}. For Mother's Day, a few people asked if i cried... honestly, i didn't.. It hasn't really hit me that i am indeed a mom.. Yes i gave birth to Elijah, but i am not with him all the time nor am raising the handsom guy.. So it doesn't feel like i am a mom..but i am 100% a mom now. It feels to me that givin birth was only a dream- tho i know for a fact that it wasn't a dream {maybe a dream come true!}. I guess it'll hit me that i am a mom when i have my other kids. I did get a flower for Mother's Day, and a massage.. as well as a 'tea party' with the fam and a free meal {steak- and yummy patatoes}.. Yays!

2009-05-08T03:19:00.002-04:00

A Mother's Love

A mother's love for her dear child shall enver end but grow stronger.

A mother's love for her young is tough because she is willing to let them go.

She will always love her child as each day passes on by.

She will never forget the day her precious young one was born.

Because she loves them so much and charished each moment.

Because each moment with her dear chid is only a blessing from God

Noone can ever take her love away nor say she doesn't love her child.

Noone could take her memories from her because they are dear to her forever.

A mother's love can endure so much and never be lost.

And a mother's love for her child will continue to grow forever and ever.

-Dayna M. Hlatky

May-7-09'

2009-05-08T02:33:00.002-04:00

I do love taking pictures.. Someday i shall get an awesome camera- much like the one Stephen has {which is WAY better than my digital camera...which is in TX now.. i think i lost it forever} It's all good- I am sure it has cat-hair in it by now.

I am ever Soooooo Happy now.. So I went to go help out at the last Awana program at church yesterday.. i got upstairs and the family was eating dinner. Jameson was like "WOW" as i came up.. and Jenice asked "Who's that?".. and Jameson said "Dayna".. YAYS!! 1st time he said my name.. He is finally starting to say more words.. yays!

So, giving birth about 3 1/2 weeks ago, I've lost 20lbs within the first 2 weeks..and have maintained it so far. Yays! I am planning on doing Tia-Boa soon... so maybe that'll help with my stomach issue--looks all nasty and even worst with the stretch marks. But each of those stretch marks was made with love and care. I do not regret any of them..just will not show anyone but my hubby {when i am married of course}.

So we had a week of SUNSHINE!! It was great.. i took the kids to the park alot, and we went for a walk to the bridge. We saw ducks there in the water.. and the kids enjoyed throwing rocks into the water. I just love the view- for surely when the sun is rising over there!! I'd take all the snow and rain for this view everyday.

Alaska is indeed an awesome place to live!! A frieng of mine saw Whales about 30feet from the boat as she was working {she works on the ferries here}.. The parents here are planning on buying a boat someday- they keep saying that they want to buy a yatch {sp} someday and go out on it over a weekend and bring me along.. And they even mentioned a few times about taking a vacation out to Scotland bc they know that i want to go there..and because they had their honeymoon there. Would be MEGA awesome if we did go.

So... i don't ever feed the kids food-- why? because they are too busy eating their socks... jk.. The joy of working with kids is that they do the silliest things..and when you can get it on camera, it makes for a great blackmail later in life... {like their gf or bf comes over, it's the best time to show them pics of your kid as a youngan.. haha}.

But then-again.. i am pretty crazzie too.. I enjoy playing around with the kids or just being silly. Today Delaney and I were sumersaulting and cart-wheeling in my apt. tons of fun... tho i wanted to throw the dog outside- being that she was excited about us playing around. Crazzie dog.. Heidi {dog} sure does love me, and is always trying to hang out in my apt. sometimes i don't even know she is sleeping on my couch until Daron comes in to get her. LOL.

Here's a pic of me wheni 1st started working here with Lil Jameson... This was just before i found out i was pregnant. WOW- time surely does fly. Jameson was just learning to crawl around everwhere... now he is walking all over the place and even climbing on things and testing his boundaries.. {like running to the street}.. Delaney just cries about this or that and says "i can't do it".. she is also getting into the "Why?" "Whats that?" stage. She is even asking some lame questions like "What is a dog?".. "umm.. what is Heidi??".. "a dog!".. "Well, there you go.." haha. Gotta love kids! thats all i can say..

So last weekend we went to the beach, and poor Jameson fell into the water.. He stopped crying once we got into the van and the dvd was playing. Crazzie cute kid! Before he fell- we saw dophins in the water. You don't get to see dophins in Det. besides at Sea-world. It was very awesome to watch them bob their heads up and down in the water.

So.. today after work, i went to the beach. There was a bon-fire going on with the college kids. As much as i "hang out" with them, i still feel left out. the only person i really got along with in the college class was Hans.... and he ended up leaving on a sad note. I also felt a connection with Charity when we 1st met.. but under the circumstances- i understand why she doesn't want to be friends. I guess because Colleen is good friends with Charity- that we haven't gotten close or hanged out outside of church. So i guess the next person i am closest to here would have to be Kjerstin.. and she is leaving for NY in Aug.. O-wells.. I'll always have the kids around and God and a blog and Stephen {to text with} and Scrapbooking and facebok and books each day. Gotta love life!!

Well... thats life today!! Maybe tomorrow will be something new-- maybe me being married with 3 kids and an awesome job with me doing scrapbooks for famous people {like Celine Dion--- which would be MEGA MEGA awesome if i could do her scrapbook for her.} Yeah- im a dork for 'liking' Celine {so what i know most of her songs!! haha} .

2009-05-06T18:38:00.004-04:00

Yays for computer fun.. i took a few of my pictures i had on my computer and edited them... This will be great for scrapbooking- YAYS!!

My dearest Grandpa Scott. Kevin and Charity let me be able to give Elijah his middle name.. so i gave him Robert. My grandpa was a very godly man who was after God's own heart.

These pics were of him on his Wedding day- what a Handsome fellow he was. I never saw him with hair on top before- so he looks mega young to me. *grins*

Now- i look alot like my grandma.. but i am keeping off the wieght... i honestly don't want to be huge again {besides if i am pregnant- then it's not my faught}

Of course i did one up of Elijah.. Am going to do more of his, for i am making a scrapbook for myself of him... All the pictures i recieve as he is growing up will go into that along with the journal i am doing.

I just love being creative. After Nanny school, i am going to try to do some scrapbooks up for people around here.. They can just buy a book that they want me to do it in, and give me pictures that they want scrapbooked- and BAM!! they have a custom made- scrapbook. I never do anything the same- {besides the invites i made for my 1st b-day party ever...which was my 23rd}. For now, i am enjoying doing this scrapbook that i recently started {the one of Elijah}.

I've realized that giving up your 1st born is indeed the hardest thing ever, but what a joy it is to know that your 1st born is getting everything you can't give them. Well- for me its like that. It was indeed alot more easier for me to give Elijah over to this family {1. i know He will hear the Word of God.. and 2. i know the family is very caring}. God worked everything out and it's just amazing. Anyways- i also realized that the other side of Adoption can be hard too.. they have to do all the paper work, have people come over and watch them or whatnots, and then have to wait till a birthmother says that they want them to be the parent... Then have to wait to see if they don't change their minds at the last min... that must be pretty hard to endure. I am indeed pretty interested in hearing more about that side of adoption {tho, i am pretty sure i won't have to go through it}

I did try to let Charity and Kevin know that i will not change my mind, and that the birthdad was on board too... but i think in the end- when they were here, they were very scared... because i had 10 days to change my mind after signing my rights over... and they knew i loved Elijah alot {they could at least see it in my eyes when i looked at him}... and i think that is why they tried to stay away from me as much as possible! well, for surely the 1st week... boy that was a killer for me... giving birth to him and not see him till a week later... then to find out that my friends saw him over the week... I missed out on seeing their reactions {kinda like they wanted to take that joy away from me}.-- but thats done and over with.. I can't change anything that has happened when he was here... I am indeed ever so glad for the time i did have with him.. To be honest- my emotional side of things is getting better. Im sleeping more {on my stomach--YAYS!!}... well... eating has slowed down alot {enough that i can easily go a few days without eating before i get hungry enough to eat a smal meal}.. and its been over a week since i really cried {well, besides last night when i was remembering things--such as my friends seeing him}.. but it's all good. Maybe later on in life Charity and Kevin would like to be friends {but that might be after Elijah comes find me when he is older}

well.. thats whats been going on with me this week- besides working with the 2 kids...BOY O BOY.. Crazzie 2s and INSANE 4s... AHHHHHHHHHHH.. what can i say- Gotta love kids!! :D Well, i do love kids, and will have more kids after i get married someday... in a few years Lord Willing! *grins*

2009-05-04T22:19:00.003-04:00

To be honest- I am very heartbroken... I lost a dear friend {no he isn't dead- he just doesn't want to be friends anymore}. He told me that it was nothing i said or done, just that he changed alot of things and want to have a clean start in life. I can understand- but still hurts to lose a good friend. He was one of the few friends i felt very comfortable to talk about things- but i guess me being so open had scared him. He did told me one time that i was the only girl he has ever known to have been so open with him and that he felt like he wasn't much of a friend for not being so open with me. But what he didn't understand was that i just needed someone who was willing to listen. Yes i know that God is listening to me daily and does answer my prayers... i just also wanted a human being to talk to also. I know for a fact that freinds come and friends go- its just sad to let a good friend go. I shall miss talking with Eric, he had helped me see how much more encouraging it is to not only listen and read the Bible-but to tell someone what you got out of it at times. Not only is it encouraging to the one who is listening to you tell them, but it is encouraging to you.. and even more encouraging when they tell you something in return.

I am also heartbroken over another friend of mine..Hans. For the past month or so he stopped going to church, and then soon stopped talking to those who did went to church. I remember him telling me that he felt out of place there because the other college kids knew each other very well... So we would hang out together-but he soon stopped that. I guess i wasn't much of a friend to him in the end, i should've gone over to his room and ask him what was up.. but i didn't. He came to the Bible Study on Thursday last week {after hearing that i had went the week before}. He admitted that he was running from God and was missing home. So now i just pray that God would really work in his heart and convict him of different areas that would need to be changed so that he could have that speical walk with HIM. May he never forget the One who loved him 1st. Hans went home the next day- so i didn't have a chance to hang out with him and talk. I shall miss our lil chats in the car as we're going to Awanas, or the times we would hang out with peoplez.

Well... in the meantime- i am fallin in love with a great guy. I have been falling for him for a while now, and know that he is the one i want to be with. When i met him in person during Christmas time, i felt at peace about it all. Honestly, i haven't felt that peaceful around a guy. Now, i am ever so open with him and love being able to talk to him. I enjoy hearing stories of when he was in the Navy or some silly story that happened. Mainly, i love being able to read a few chapters in the Bible together. I miss hearing from him from time to time because he is very busy with class and work. But when we do talk, its like the stars sparkle more and a rainbow floats behind them. Stephen is so open with me, and i enjoy it loads. I am not just doing all the talking, and neither is he. Living in 2 different states sure is helping us get closer, because we are talking alot and not just focused on kissing or cuddling- tho that would be nice {i sure do love to cuddle}. I am indeed excited about seeing him again soon.

I do often think about Elijah {pic- thats him about 5 hours old}.. but i know that he is going to grow up being very happy. It's just amazing how the Lord worked everything out-- with my side..how I found the right family, and how Medicad ended up working {etc...}... and with their side..how they met me, and how people gave them all the items they would need for a new baby in the family {etc...}.

I had just recently started going to the church when i met them at the conference. Charity told me that she didn't want to come to AK during that time- but they couldn't afford to cancel the ticket. She didn't understand why she was even here until that Sunday morning after she talked with a friend of mine {whom she is very good friends with} telling her that they were wanting to adopt. Of course my friend knew i was looking for a Christian-God fearing family for my baby {who was only 3 months old at the time and was only a few days before i found out if i was having a boy or a girl.... which of course was a boy}. That is just part of this whole adoption that God was imvolved in.

If i could've, i would've kept him. In fact, when i had found out that i was pregnant- i was very determined to keep him..no matter what the cost would be. I would've sold everything i had, live in the streets if i had to in order to support him.. But God didn't want that.. I am able to keep my job here, and able to start fresh with my life. I am keeping myself pure from here on out untill i am married. I do miss having Elijah in my stomach, and even in my arms. I charished each moment i had with him, and only wished i could've spent more time with him as he was still in AK. I think Charity was very scared that i would change my mind about signing the consent forms-- but that wasn't likely at all. Seeing how God was in this and how everything went about- i couldn't change my mind. I love him loads, and am very blessed that i gave him his middle name {gave him a part of me for the rest of his life}. I will scrapbook all the pictures i get- and only wish it was alot of pics {but i am not convinced that there will be alot of pics, being that they told me that they barely take pics of their kids now}. But a few pics is better than none- so i am ever so grateful.

2009-05-03T01:28:00.003-04:00

Elijah... born April 11th at 10:18pm in Juneau AK. 7lb 2oz and 20in. Handsome lil guy and very much loved and missed. He already spent a whole week with his new fam in GA..

Midwives told me that i pushed for 3 mins.. about 5-10mins after i had Elijah, mom came walking in. I had to have 30 stitches from a tear i had, and ended up telling jokes as the Dr. was stitching me up {i didn't take any drugs at all.. was just in a good mood-- after all, i just had the cutest and most dearest kid ever}.

I got to spend his 1st Easter with him, and surely enjoyed holding him in my arms the whole day. He has Juan's mouth, and nose and maybe tall genes.. He has my round face, eyes {maybe}, and hair. not sure about his ears.. He has strong lungs when he cries- he doesn't like having the cool air hit his skin-or his feet not being covered. But he surely is a good baby- doesn't cry much.. just drinks alot of milk and sleeps and poops. adoptive parents were amazed at that and even commented on it a few times.

I love Elijah and miss him.. i just want to hold him now and raise him up. I never wanted to give him away- but i know that this was whats best for him and i had to go through it..no matter how much it hurts. Who am i to tell God that i will not do His will? God has something special planed for Elijah-- i am excited to be able to see what it is.. I am glad that i can at least watch him grow up.. I love him!!

2009-03-28T01:28:00.002-04:00

Jesus sustains my life...

Think about it for a moment!

Our planet is 93 million miles away from the sun. If the sun were any closer to earth, we would burn up. If it were any farther away from earth, we would freeze.

Our planet tilts exactly 23 degrees on its axis, giving us four seasons a year. If it tilted at any other angle, we would have massive continents of ice.

The moon is the exact distance from earth to give us two ocean tieds a day. if it were any greater or lesser distance, the earth would be flooded.

The Ocean floor is at an exact depth that gives us oxygen, which sustains human life. If the depth were any different, the air we breathe would be poisonous.

The atmosphere is the exact density to keep meteors and space objects from hitting us. If it were any thinner, we would be constantly bambarded by objects from outer space.

And Who keeps all this in perfect order? Who keeps Earth from getting sucked into some gigantic black hole, or planets from spinning out of control, or stars from falling from the sky? The answer is none other than Jesus- the Living Logos. If He has the power to create and sustain the universe, how can you think His power is insufficient for you?

-Taken from a random book i have...

WOW---How time flies by... Feels like just last month i found out i was preg... but here i am- so close to giving birth to a lil boy. I am excited, nervous, and sad--all rolled into one. I cried the other day out of the blue- just knowing that im not the one raising this child. Oh how i really wanted to keep him and raise him.. I wouldn't care i was mega poor and had to sell everything i own for him...but the Lord had other plans. My 1st born is going to have everything he needs, and better yet, a family who will share with him my Savior {and theirs too!!}. What a blessing it is to know that he will be loved and be a blessing not only to me but to this family. He sure is looking mega cute and i can't wait to see him in person. Oh what an honor it is to be his mom! :D Wow, im going to be a mom! Just because i am not raising him, doesn't mean i am not a mom. Only a few weeks till i have him, and only a few weeks i have this alone time with him. Right now- it feels like i am carrying a bowling ball around bc my stomach is so tight with this lil one in there. His head is down and it seems like he is getting ready to come out. He sure is moving his leg and arms around and pushing against my ribs as much as he can. And honestly, during the whole pregnancy, i only gained 15lbs from when i started. How cool is that? mega cool i think! :D Not to worry- he is very healthy... i had started eating more healthier and just enough to keep him full {meaning, i am not stuffing my face with food 24/7... but am eating more than normal}. He keeps me up all night- so a good night's sleep for me is 4 hours.. but 2 hours is like the most i get during most nights. so hopefully in a few months i can catch up on my sleep and be kinda normal! :D

I sure am having a blast with the kids here. Jameson is now starting to hit and push.. Delaney is now starting to egg things on with Jameson and then cry about this or that. She is whinning alot more, and is slowly trying to get away with not asking for things {which she only gets away with when her parents are home... but not with me}. I seem to be more strick than their parents- but only in a good way {like, not jumping on the couch, or standing on the coffee table...etc}.. Delaney really wants my attention- and always wants to play catch and run after the ball... but these past few months it gets hard just to walk up and down the stairs at times. Tho i am sure i'll be able to give her more attention when i have more energy to do things. I try to do crafts with her- but she only likes to rip things, make a mess, and put stickers on things. She enjoys helping out with cooking, but cries when i ask if she clean up a mess she made with the toys. Jameson is ever so slowly learning how to say a few things.. yays! He loves stuffed animals and Delaney's baby dolls. what a cutie!! We've been watching each morning this lil cartoon called Shawn the sheep... ever so funny.. Jameson loves it and will dance to it when it starts... in this pic, it looks like he is doing a Shawn the sheep's grin.. :D

Well. thats all for now!! oh-- im gonna be getting a purple room this weekend.. YAYS!!

2009-01-13T17:45:00.010-05:00

The year of ~~~2008~~~

What a Crazzie year it has been for me... But what a Life lesson it has been for me also..

I started the year going back to school for another semester. Things were all a wack with my friends and I- mainly because i was caught up in my own sin and didn't want to admit it. I was involved with someone that i had no desire in marrying. My friends saw something in me, and wanted to help- but had went about it the wrong way. I was indeed crying out for a good friend to listen to me, but i must not have been open enough to really ask for help. I felt as if my friends were pushing me away as the semester went on- but really, it was only me pushing them further away. I was getting closer to this one guy- and was getting more and more in my sins-along with him. God wasn't in the relationship at all-and so the further in sin i was going. I was lying to people, and i continued being "friends" with this guy. why i said "friends" is because we both had agreed to just be friends, but we were still doing things as if we were more than friends.

Honestly, even though things went wacky with my freinds- we were able to talk things out before we left for the summer... and worked things out. Our friendship surely has changed- but at least we are still able to talk from time to time. We are all busy in our own ways now, and can't just go to each other rooms just to chat or to study. There were indeed the hard times- but there were also those times when we just had a blast.. like ordering pizza and just playing games and talking. Even tho we were busy with school work and work- we always had managed to spend some time together- rather it be over the weekend or just during the meal time. I am very blessed with my friends- even now!! And even the friends that didn't really know what was going on within me... they helped in other ways in my life too. So thanks friends!!

Why did i stay with him or continued seeing him? Well, after pushing my friends away- i felt i had noone to go to besides him. I felt loved by someone and didn't want to let go of it. I thought that if we worked things out- things would be alright.. but the more we hanged out- the more i didn't want to be around him much yet wanted to hang out with him because i didn't want to be alone. He was always getting upset with me for the little things. There was a few times i just wanted to be around him, and so i asked to hang out with him {just b cause he was the only friend in town i had}. He would get upset with me because i would have my hopes up in some ways in spending time with a him-but he didn't show up and said that i shouldn't have my hopes up to high {but they weren't high up- just i wondered if he would show up after not answering me throughout the day}. When he found out that i was trying to find a Nanny job- he tried to discourage me into going to another state...and was only very disappointed when he heard i was going to Alaska.. so he then wanted to spend more time with me that last few days i was there. He had gotten very upset with me when i told him that i wasn't going to hang out with him on a day we planned to hanged out- because i wanted to spend more time with my fav. older brother Jayme {as if my family shouldn't be important to me like he should be in my life}. So the next day we saw each other- and he made sure he was able to be involved with me at least one last time before i left for AK.. . Something inside of me told me not to- but i went against it once again... I am not trying to say that this is all the guy's fault- for i know that i was in the wrong as much as he was {even if he says he was in the right the whole time and i was the ONLY one in the wrong}.. and i will admit that i lusted after him throughout the time.. i shouldn't have lusted after him, and was only in the wrong even more. but the Lord forgave me when i repented of my wrong. I can not do that for the guy..

I love my Nanny job. I didn't know what the parents looked like, so after getting my bags-i wasn't sure what i was supposed to do.. so i just stood there... wondering if i should be waiting outside or something. Daron came up to me and asked if i was Dayna.. and i said "yes".. He told me that i didn't look like my pictures, so he was just seeing who looked lost...and i was the best guess. Haha!!

I get to watch two awesome kids- and even am learnin alot about being a mother. I am with the kids just about the whole day-so i am the one who mainly help teach the kids manners, and things {like whats right and wrong}.. And they are always doing or saying something silly- which is awesome. They keep me on my toes alot!!

So after a month of being a Nanny-and after having the Flu- i wanted to see if i was pregnant.. i hadnt had my monthly and was worried that i would be pregnant.. Turned out that i was/am. Daron's parents were here during that time {and would be leaving shortly}.. so i didn't tell them, but i told the parents and they seemed ok about it all.. I guess the only time i had "mornin sickness" was when i ate something that my stomach didn't agree too- so i threw it up on the plate. So the grandma thought i had what Daron had.. or an ulcer. I just letted her think what she wanted..

I had lied about my pregnancy and told people that i was raped- in my heart i pretty much was,, but i wasn't raped at all. I had let the guy get involved with me more than once.. and i regret every one of them now. I gave something up that i had wanted to keep for my husband, and now i can't give that to him--and not even the 1st child. I sure was beating myself up over this for a while.. and after giving my life over to the Lord again, i knew that i am only blessed through this and am enjoying each step in this. I am learning alot about being pregnant as well as being patient with things and just letting God take care of things. I enjoy feeling the lil guy kick- and seeing the ultrasound of him moving around in me was just amazing and a blessing!! The Lord sent me the perfect family for this lil boy- and is workin things out for His glory. Just so we are clear on this-- I regret givin my virginity away, i do not regret having this baby.. I only wish i was having my husband's child. {and i shall not marry the guy just so it would be true}. Two wrongs don't make a right.. and even tho he "loves" me, things can not go back to where they were... Things truly has changed as time went by- and even more so now... now that the Lord is in full control of my life!! I do hope that somehow- i am encouraging him to get his focus on Christ and off of me. True happiness comes from Him and Him alone... not from me or from any other human or things {or even through sex}. He hasn't told his kids yet- just because they will want us to keep the baby. Though i know for a fact that this is whats best for the child {mainly becaue of how things are fitting into place and working out}.

God sent me here to Ak for a perfect reason- and He sent me some wonderful friends. I am able to spend time with them and talk about God and what He is doing in my life or what i am getting out of my readings.. I am being encouraged to stay focus on Him- and it's amazing to know that i can have friends like that and even be a friend like that to others too. I am blessed with each one of them- and even tho i only known them for a short time now, i feel like we've known each other for years. They don't judge me for my past, and they accept me for who i am.. and is helping me to change for the better in many areas {just they don't know that at times}.

My 23rd birthday was a blast. The parents here spoil me loads, and had let me spend my birthday with my friends. Delaney seemed to want to join in- yet was too shy to do so. She sure is a cutie!! Instead of a cake- i got cupcakes that looked like 23... only 21 candles happen to have been lit {Jenice said that i could only make 21 wishes..haha}. I even made about 8 shots in basketball that night too.. it was great!! :D

So before the year ended- i was able to meet another friend.. Jeremiah.. What a blessing its been to be getting to know him and just Praising the Lord together. I enjoy talking about things we read in the Bible or just something that comes up in our heads- like what'll it be like to be in Heaven... or those in hell andwhat they are dealing with {like memories}. Jeremiah is an awesome friend. He wants to be a pilot and is pretty close to getting there. He enjoys shooting at targets and loves oreos more than chicken {well... i just added the chicken part just bc i can}. He was able to make his 1st kill of a coyoty {which there is a pack of them that are killing off his friend's chickens}- so they are not hunting just for the fun of killing. And best of all- He is human!! :P

So now- 2009 starts.. a new year to serve God... and what a blessing it is that i have regiven Him my life and am starting a new year fresh!! I can serve Him each day and just praise Him each day. I love being here in Ak and i love how things are always different... from the weather to the view {Mountians always have a different shadow on them throughout the day}.. It's like God is saying "I Love you!"... because He does love me- more than i could ever know.

I am ever so glad that He forgives and that He loves us- no matter what we have done. After all, it was my sins that put Him on the cross-and He still loved me after that. He knew me on that day He shed His blood {even when the world wasn't even created yet}... and He knows me now. What a blessing it is to know that i am in His hands and know that He will protect me and provide for me all the things that i need. He knows what i need before i do. Praise the Lord!!

Ahh-- Christmas was also last year.. So i spent a week on my own in this house with my new best friend-Hiedi.. I think she uses me for my comfy couch {which she is at right now..haha} She kept me up at night more than the lil guy, and kept me busy and bothered me more than i ever been bothered in my life. Guess she was missing Jenice {her fav person}. I had a great week on my own- but was very excited to fly to Ca for a week. The weather for the week was great.. 12 days were Sunny- Beautiful indeed, but freezing outside. But the day before i left, it snowed like crazzie. I had to do errands that day-so it was fun driving in the snow {which i remember someone i met-only once talked with the poor guy-telling me that it is dangerous to drive as i am pregnant and bout to give birth.. Yeah.. needless to say- he thinks being pregnant means i am going to give birth anyday now when he knew i was due in April.. Smart guy he was----NOT!!}.. Anyways.. so i got my errands done, and was looking forward for the next day.

My 1st plane was on time and we were all seated and ready to go... but since our plane was the only one going to Sitka {made a few stops before going to WA}- we had to wait for another plane to land so a few people can get on and we can go. Happens to have been the plane that Jenice and Daron was on--which they were delayed in WA bc of the snow they had gotten there. Then we were off. A kid {age 4} was sitting just in front of me on the other side- had attached onto me within seconds of being on the plane.. So we played with action figure that he had {TMNT} and i tickled him {which he kept asking me to do}.. it was great. He gave me a hug before he left {at one of the few stops in AK we had to made}. Then i was in Wa for a few hours and was able to eat before getting onto the plane to CA. So we got on the plane and everything was fine-- then we get an annoucement saying that there was no pilot and that they are not sure where they are at..but the people on the plane sure were interesting-mainly i was laughing at them for the silly things they said or did.. mega awesome!! 2 hours later- they showed up... they thought that the flight was later!!

So there i was in CA.. i used the restroom as soon as i could {bc i had to go} and lost where i was suppose to go.. but i kinda just fellowed a random person.. i was looking out for Stephen- yet trying to figure out where i was suppose to be at.. i almost walked right past him- had he not stepped forward with a smile on his face. He then gave me a welcomin-friendly hug for a few secs. Then we were off to get my bags. What a gentleman he was... we were sitting on the shuttle when our eyes met- and as they met i felt at peace and know that this is right {just like i felt when i met the family thats going to adopt this lil guy}

The whole week with Stephen was a blast. We played games, talked, watched movies, played pool, went bowling, and just enjoyed being around each other. He had to work throughout the week i was there, and even had to go to class one of the days i was there. So i did alot of reading. His roomies seemed pretty cool.. one of them pretty much hanged out in the frontroom with me as we watched the NCIS marathon. He never seen any of the shows before-and seemed to enjoy them.. yeah- i like NCIS--great show to watch!! I just love Abby and her spunky side. I honestly didn't want to leave that last day i was there. Stephen and I mainly just hanged out together and enjoyed each other company. He took me to the airport and went in as far as he could go {which i thought was ever so sweet... how he put the bags on the platform thing for me and tooked the time to go as far as they would let him}. He gave me a hug and we parted ways... tho i didn't want to leave at all. Yeah- i like him alot!! He liked the gifts i got him- tho i think his fav gift was the PJs... {he looked very good in them--*grins*}.. He gave me a bunch of his old t-shirts that were too small for him.. mega awesome!! Then as we were in DownTown- he ended up paying for the books i was going to get.. What a sweetie!! I felt bad about it- bc i know how his finiacial{sp} is going and how he needs the money for his schooling. {honestly, i would spend all my money on him if i could-to me, he is worth that and more}

Well.. someone had asked me if i had done it with Stephen- this someone needs to know that i am keeping myself pure for my future husband from here on out.. I am not going back on the path i was on, nor will let any man get very involved with me again until i am married. How can i keep myself pure if i am off sleeping with guys all over as i am pregnant or even when i am not pregnant? there's no way of that... and i am not going that way. So this person just needs to understand that everything isn't about sex... and just because i like someone doesn't mean i am off doing things that i shouldn't be... i honestly am not- and this freindship i have with Stephen is only centered on God.. if we were off talkin bout sex and whatnots- then it is only a sex-centered relationship.. and thats a relationship i had with someone..and will not have that again-with anyone...NO WAY!! --

Sorry- venting is out!!

Oh.. the awesome thing about my Christmas was that i got to sleep with a boy all night.. he slept on top of my legs alot, and even tried to sleep on my head... he is very cute and cuddleable- tho will bite if you pet him the wrong way... Ahh.. it's not a human if your wondering. it was the cat!! Stephen doens't know his name- so we just call him cat. so i slept with cat a few nights.. 1st time i ever slept with a cat.. mega sweetness!!

New Years was great.. an hour after i was back Katie called me and invited me to her mom's place. So with directions and getting kinda lost- i was there.. It was awesome. had a meal with the fam and a few others, and then we ended up just talking for a few hours. The pastor of the church was there too- so it was awesome seeing this side of him and his wife and hearing stories.. We had apple cider {in wine glasses--- watch out drinkin lady on her way...jk}.. and just prayed as one group... taking turns praising the Lord and just praying for the New Year and all that has to come. It was very encouraging and awesome. I am blessed to have gone.. had i not gone- i would've just slept through it all. Sure was glad i had the next day off work--{last day off work for the break}.. and just slept in- enjoying the time i had to catch up on that {being that i slept-ish in the airport the night before}..

I surely would love to still be in CA right now.. I enjoy being around Stephen and getting to know him. just listenin to stories and seeing his eyes sparkle when he talks about cars or about other things. Joy told me to guard my heart--- but i can'thelp it.. i like Stephen alot. Not to worry- we didn't do anything that we shouldn't have done. Everything was perfect and awesome.. with the touching---> we did tickle each other. That was fun. Just being able to poke each other and have a good time.. something i would've done with Jo or any of my other friends {if i know they are tickleish... just Jo isn't normal with her tickleish spot.. haha}.. Well- i guess I'll just have to enjoy talking to Stephen on the phone more and getting to know him more like that..rather than in person.

Yays- for school starting up.. my friends are back in town.. i am excited to be able to hang out with them this Thursday... {unless Hans calls me up for me to pick him up on Wednesday}.. i kinda miss our lil chats in the car- as he is telling me i am a crazzie driver and will kill him someday.. but love his toasty bums... he might end up telling me he missed his bums bein toasty-- LOL}. well. thats 08 and the New Years!! Yays for another year to Praise and Serve Christ!!

2008-12-16T22:33:00.005-05:00

My Crazzie Day!!

Oh Man!!! What a Crazzie Day i had!! Was told in the morning that there would be some guys coming in to switch refridgators about the time i need to leave to drop Delaney off of school.. So i waited for them as long as i could... but they never showed and i didn't passed them.. Getting Delaney, Jameson and the dog into the car was a crazzie job today-- but that's ok.. it's what kids do best. After dropping Delaney off, and making it back home safely with Jameson falling asleep in the car.. i was able to get a smal break as Jameson slept. {YAYS for breaks!}. Then Mr. Charter and his step-son Mike came to work on the stairs for a bit. {Which the fam is getting a new set of stairs to an empty area- and will make it into a library}.

Jameson got up and was all over the place in my apartment.. he was crying up a storm and i didn't know why. He was fed, watered {had his own bottle thing filled with water} and didn't need a diaper change. He didn't want to be held, but didn't want to be left alone or play with anything. I sure wanted to put duct-tape on him..but he got lucky that i don't know where there is duct-tape {jk..}.. i wouldn't really do that.. just felt like it. When i took the dog outside to go potty, Jameson was of course by the door crying until i came in... and just walked away as if nothing happen.

So i had to go pick up Delaney today, because both of the parents were in meetings at that time. Which is really no biggy for me- done it a few times and didn't have any problems.. Then about 30mins before i had to leave, the guys for the fridge called {well, asked if Daron was home... then asked if there is an adult home... hahaha.. No, we usually leave lil kids alone without any adults around!!}. and they said that they'll be here within 10-20 mins.. O-BOY!! So they came, and i signed whatever i needed to sign. and they said that they won't be able to fit it through the door, but they would be able to put it in the garage- but won't be able to hook it up bc they would need to go through a door to get to the kitchen from the garage. So i got their # and said that'll be fine.. Daron and Jenice can call them later if needed.

Mr. Charter-- poor guy.. had moved his car out of the way for the other men... but had moved it behind the van that i needed to go pick up Delaney. But he was sweet enough to move it one more time. And off i was to pick up Delaney with 4 {kinda} strange men alone in the house.. But nothing bad happened {that i know of anyays.. haha}. I desided that i should pick up food for the kids for lunch {mainly bc Jameson was getting mighty cranky}.. So after i picked up Delaney, i got some food for them and came back to find out that my side door was locked {not sure why..}.. So we went through the front door {after i putted the dog back into the car so she won't be barking at Mr. Charter and Mike when we come in-- mainly didn't want to fight with her and try to get the kids down to my apartment without bothering the men working on the stairs}.

I then was able to get the dog inside, the food inside and the kids inside- and they were all eating!! YAYS!! After lunch, it was nap time. They each slept for about an hour- then was up wanting attention like crazzie.. Jameson crying- and Delaney wanting me to play with her with this or with that. I was glad when she pulled out the dress up clothings.. That meant just taking random pics of her on my phone and then delete about 99% of them after showing them to her. She sure does love her picture being taken!! {And now am glad that my camera will send the pictures bigger.. YAYS!!} So i mainly did that till the parents came home.. Jameson was enjoying it.. The parents weren't too happy about the fridge- but knew it wasn't my fault at all. So they hooked it up and got the water turned on {after figuring out how to}...

As they were doing that- i was watching the kids. Delaney was crying her lil eyes out and throwing herself a trantram... so i ignored her as she was sitting near a corner pouting about having to stay downstairs {usually she just wants to stay down-stairs.. o-wells}.. So i played with Jameson.. we "colored"... more like grabbing the cryons and draw a line then try to dump the bucket of cryons to the floor.. hahaha.. then we went to play in the pool of balls.. As soon as Delaney saw that Jameson was having fun without her- she slowly crept her way to where we were. {she had finally stoped crying by now} and then started playing with us. Then i grabed out my phone and she was all wanting pictures taken.. then when i started shooting vidoes-- she wanted me to take her doing this or that.. hahaha.. {of course i also deleted about 98% of them}. Then when it was time to go upstairs- she was in a better mood.. YAYS!! It was fun playing around with them.

Then my busy day got not so busy!! I was able to make myself something to eat, and relax... so i came online and thought i'll just write out my busy day.. I shall go ahead and read for awhile!! YAYS for time to read! :D

2008-12-13T20:51:00.007-05:00

It's just Amazing how we all go through a path of life and each one is different and we cross onto each other paths and leave the path in different directions. The Lord is always there with us and gives us what we need and when we need them.

Today was indeed a beautiful day outside- very bright and lovely... but the temparture was indeed COLD!! But my day was ever so amazing- because i was able to be reminded of how much He loves me as it was sunny outside. It was as if He was telling me "Dayna, I am the light of the World!! I am here and I love you!!" What an amazing love note that is!! :D

I am ever so glad for my friends that i've made!! They each hold something special and they each encouage me in different ways- or just remind me of things that i forgotten.. I am just blessed for the Godly friends i've made as i've been here.

1st I became friends with Hans... Met him at church, and it was just pretty cool how we kinda just clicked. During the Chili-cook off at church one Sunday, he wanted to sit with me. I thought it was nifty. Turned out that we both were new to the church and was just not sure what to do. So i knew i wasn't totally alone with that. I pick him up at times for church on Wednesday {to help out with the kids program} and just our conversations on the way there and back is always on God- what we read or what He is doing in our lives. Just been a huge encouragment to be able to tell someone in person that. He is very serious alot, but his silly side is pretty cool too. I am just glad that the Lord let us be friends. {Pic, he saw Andrew's random pic of him doing sound effects with a punch... So Hans just had to do that too... hence why i was laughing}

Then i became good friends with Eric. I met him on this site that i started going to. Just wanting to make some good friends to talk to. I always enjoyed talking with Eric {and still do}, and how we managed to just be honest with each other and talk about random things. I enjoy all the silliness and the seriousness that we have going on. My favorite is just being able to throw something at him and he throws it back. I like that about a guy- someone who is willing to tease me back and know that it's only for the fun and not in a mean or rude manner. He is always encouraging me to be a better woman after God's own heart.. just by the little things he says. I am very glad that we could be friends and just praise the Lord!! He seems to make me smile when I am feeling down- and some of those times he doesn't even know it. But then again- alot of my friends are like that!! :D YAYS for friends!!

Then i started to get more and more involved with different activities at church. The more i spent time with them, the more i got to know them. Its just awesome how the Lord placed me in a group of wonderful people who doesn't judge ya or who are just "too good" to be ya friend. These people accpeted me into their group really fast, and i enjoy hanging out with them and just doing silly things yet being able to talk about what He is doing in our lives or what we got out of the reading that we are going over. We are all so different, yet we can all come together and just praise the Lord!! You can't beat that at all. I am just ever so blessed with these friends i've made here.

Then on the same site i met Eric, i met Stephen. Stephen just has been a great friend.. and i honestly am starting to like him alot. But not to worry, we are only being friends. If the Lord wants me to be with Stephen, then He'll show me. For now, i am just focusing on Christ. I am encouraging Stephen to also stay focus on Christ {just like he does with me}.. and it turned out that i am also encouraging him in other ways too.. I didn't even know that i was or even trying to. Such as his schooling. He is taking classes so he can be a Mechanic- so i guess just having a friend he is excited to share what he is learning in class.. Although it all goes over my head alot, i am always excited to hear about it. I am also ever so glad that God is the center of this friendship also.. I love how we can praise His name together and just be thankful for the little things that comes our ways. I enjoy telling him whats on my mind or how my day went. Stephen is very silly yet very serious too. I love that. Although he is slowly learning that it's ok to throw things back at me... but i am sure he'll get the hang of things soon enough...hahaha.

So last night i got talking to this random guy named David. At 1st he seemed very nice. Wanting to be a pastor someday, and knows the Bible very well. But then after he realized that i was giving the baby up for adoption, he started to tell me what the Lord's will was for my life. which is to keep the baby, marry him, and never talk to another guy again because i have finally found my man!! {according to him anyways}. He says that he has been praying for a woman like me and waited 6 years and now just wants to make me happy. So today after going through this yet again with him.. i ended up telling him that i liked someone. I guess he got really jealous and said that he didn't want me to be talking to any other guys.. that a true relationship is taking the effort to get to know one person and not waste your time or others by getting to know them when you have someone. I truly don't know where he got that from.. but OK!! At least he isn't bothering me anymore... so i am happy about that!! YAYS!!

So.. thats that for now!! :D till next time... Adios!!

2008-12-08T22:04:00.004-05:00

So i've decided to start in Daniel today.. The 1st chapter was pretty good... What i got out of it is that Daniel had a right attitude about things and he continued to stand strong for what was right. Instead of getting angry or try to make a point out of something- He simply asked kindly for things.yet know what is right and go that way. Kinda like going to a public school- and when they are watching a movie in class that you know is not right to watch- simply ask if you can sit out in the hall-way. I know i've done that a few times.

Its amazing how much the Bible tells us about today and how we live now. We can still apply the same messages the people back then were applying to their lives--just a little different. Like don't ride a drunken camel back then and now don't drink and drive. :D but seriously... i think it's amazing how we can still stand up for what it right- even if we are to die because of it {like the muslim people coming to know Christ and being beaten because of it}... they were being beaten also back then.. We can read the Bible and think that they had it easy- but i am very sure that they didn't. They still had to face people who wanted nothing to do with Christ.. in fact- people wanted to kill Christ because He would help others out {on Sabbeth}.. I think that we should be willing to help others- no matter what day it is... rather it be just giving them a helping hand with something or a listening ear.

I am indeed pretty excited about going to see my friend Stephen in CA. I wanted to go to TX- but Sam wouldn't have room for me, and i would only feel like a burden if i was to go to Joy's {even tho she recently told me that i wouldn't be... but they are going through alot too}. I just wanted to get away from Juneau just for a small bit- and was tempted to go to Hans's place with him... but then something told me to go to Stephen's. So i am. I like him- but we are just friends and going to stay friends for a long time. we were both in need of a friend when we met, and we both want to keep this friendship focus on Christ. And so we are indeed. :D I enjoy hearing whats going on with him and how the Lord is changing something in his own life {like how he use to drink and after he came to know Christ as his Savior he stopped drinking }. Not to worry-we won't be doing anything crazzie {like things that freinds don't do}.

Joy thinks that just because i am emotional- that all my decisions that i make are emotional only now... Like regiving Him my life was emotional- or knowing that i found the right family was emotional... but i honestly am not basing anything off of emotion.. I'm letting God take control of everything and He is leading me this way and that way and through this and through that and over that and under this and around that... etc... It's amazing how much i have changed since i came here and how much i am going to change and it's not at all emotional only..

But i agree with Joy- I am not ready to date anyone yet.. I just got out of a relationship with Juan and am still needing to deal with this pregnancy.. I do not long to be with Juan, or even hear from him at all {tho, i know that i will at times, because he really wants me to be "friends" with him... like he always wanted us to be..}. I enjoy having friends who are helping me through this pregnancy and are letting me know that they are there if i need them. I enjoy my friends here in AK, and even online {like Stephen and Eric} and even from MBBC {like Sam and Jo}.

It's so much fun being able to do things with my friends here. Like going to a Bible Study Thursday Nites, playing Basketball and Volleyball on Saturday Nites, and seeing each other at church Sunday Morning. My b-day party was a blast, and those that went enjoyed a day outting at the bowling and at my apartment. I am glad that they decided to go bowling after church this past weekend instead of snowboarding-- i was able to hang out with them. It turned out to be a blast {and about 15 or so came}.

I am starting to show in my pregnancy, but not many people are able to see it yet {being that i wear baggy clothes at times... for surely my hoodies b/c it's COLD!!}. I am enjoying being preg. and love feeling the lil guy kick--even tho it's keeping me up at night sometimes. I don't mind.. I get to work this week and part of next week.. get a week off of work {and have the house to myself}, then leave to go to CA to hang out with Stephen. I am indeed excited about all of this.

Today as i was writing in my journal i couldn't believe how far into the journal i already am.. I started in the beginning of Nov, and now i am almost 1/2 way done with the book. My last one lasted a few years from like 05-08.. Guess i have alot to say now-a-days.... :D told ya my life is changing around lately. :D I'll end it here!! till my next post- Later Gators!!!

2008-11-25T22:43:00.004-05:00

I am ever so blessed to have friends here. Even though i can't just talk to them all the time, i know that they are there for me.. I love getting to know them and being able to praise the Lord along with them. So far- the closest friend i have here is Hans.. mainly because i am able to spend more time with him than with the others. But i don't get to talk to him a whole lot- because of school. I have 2 very close friends from online.. Eric and Stephen. I am ever so blessed with both of them. I enjoy talking with them both each day and getting to know them more and more.

So in my Bible reading {of Hebrews} I came to the verses {11-12} that says "And every prist standest daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God:" This is saying that we are all still standing because we are not done with our job {telling others about Christ} and we can't sit down till we are done, and honestly- we are not done nor will be anytime soon unless Christ comes or we die. But Christ's job is done when He took upon Himself our sins and paid the debt. When He said "It is finished" He meant it--- IT IS INDEED FINISHED!! So He sits down to rest- just like God rested the 7th day of creation. {in pic is Tom Ferrell, another good preacher i like!!.. I remember how he broke the prodium one year at camp--- but thats another story..}

In the book that i am reading- it got talking about how Christ brings us to our desires- Just like he did with the blind man that He healed. Or like the rich young ruler who didn't want to give up his riches. He has them see where their desires are at before He can work on them- or not. He brings desires to us and even gives us new ones. The desires that we do have- if it can be focus on Him, then it can be used of good {like the desire to be married.. He doesn't let us not have that desire- but if it's focus on Him, then the marriage that we do have will be a blessed one}.

So i am about done with the 3rd chapter of that book, and seem to be interested it in and writing tons of notes in it {which means its a good book to like read again later on with my notes}. A few more books came in the mail today- am excited to start reading a few of them..but will wait a lil whle before i do. {this way, i am not reading 10 books at once and getting confuzzled with whats being said}.

So i've been researching about Mennenites... and each site i go to talks about coverings... yet whatever photos they share, noone is wearing a covering. Just makes me wonder if they live what they preach- like really!! I know that Eric was telling me how he is kinda against girls wearing pants {and has Scripture to back him up on it}- yet i notice that the pics on all these sites are girls wearing pants. But over all- it seems like Mennonites believe alot of things we do but mainly Saved by Grace and not by works. Which is indeed important!! I enjoy learning about the Mennonites-- just wish they would give more information out for someone who doesn't know much about them.. 0-wells. life goes on. If i knew what to ask- i'd ask Eric, but i'm not sure what to ask.

well- guess thats my life for now!! Friends and reading... Oh yeah- Kids... Kids here are alright.. the parents are wanting them to be in my apartment or in the toy room more.. so i have been doing that... trying to keep Jameson away from buttons and away from pulling things off my shelf is a "fun" task. other than that- he is normally good and loves to play with toys-or open and close doors or just hit a toy into something making a banging noise {grrrs.. i mean.. Ahhh sweet sound}.. Delaney is usually good- but does have her cranky moments.. She just needs to learn how to ask better. she knows how to- but doesn't. I don't always give her what she wants because of how she asks me and i let her know that too. She knows better- and will learn that she can't always have what she wants and when she wants it.

Will find out if i am having a boy or a girl on Kaytie's b-day. :D Am excited to see the Ultrasound-would love to have a friend or two see that too... I love sharing my joy with others and would love to share this joy with those around me. I am feeling the baby kicking more and more now.. i like it- strange ah?. My belly is starting to be round like a preg lady {wait--- i am preg.. DUHH!!}. and soon i shall be showing- i just know it. I am alil scared abou that--because i will be fat.. yet i know that it won't be forever... so i am ok with it... I guess i can wait till after i am preg to try to lose the weight that i wanted to lose. {another 20-30 lbs and that'll be it}. Would love to be about 120-130 instaed of 140-150... but we will see when the time comes that this lil one comes out and the weight i gain from it is gone...

k.. that is it for now- that i can't think of any else right now!! Till next post- Later!!

2008-11-24T16:50:00.003-05:00

I had A wonderous 23th birthday.{in pic are Kayla and Sean}.. So my family either texted me or called me to say happy birthday. It was nice to hear from them. I made sure that everything was cleaned before i left {although it was already clean}. I was very excited to be spending the day with people. Then i went off to the bowling isle- had the directions in my hand. I happen to have passed the street to turn on, soi turned around as Hans was calling me. He said "Hey Birthday girl, you are late for your own party!...." yeah- but that's ok, it's my party and i can be late if i want to.. besides, it shows that people care if they are willing to wait {hahahaha, just made that up!!}. So i saw the bowling place and went to go park- but there were no parking spot, so i went to look for a good place to park... turned around and went to the store across the street and parked there. They were excited to see me come in, and looked like they couldn't wait to lose {so i pretend that i was good}.

{in pic is Andrew with a Gutter ball, and Avery with his normal look at Hans-jk..but gotta love that look} They gave me hugs and lots of smiles and a few cards. Am glad that they didn't go all out and buy things for me. I didn't want anything really. But two of them gave me gift cards- 1 for anywhere and 1 for the Waffle house {guess it's a must go place or else i haven't lived kinda place-haha}. So that means i haven't lived yet-just a dead body walking around {lol}. 1st game i bowled a 90 {the only strike i got in that game was due to a granny shot that i did just for the fun of it}. It was fun and funny seeing the guys try to out beat each other. Sean was very good and so was Avery. Hans is.........ok.....jk, he was very good too. 2nd game i got a 133 {got a turkey- meaning 3 strikes in a row... yays}.. It was tons of fun.

Then i invited them over to my place for cake and whatever. So they all fellowed me to the place. Delaney was ever so shy {haha, which is normal when you 1st meet her.. but she easily warm up.. but seem to want to stay away from us when we were in my apartment.}. Hiedi {dog} was barking like crazzie.. guess she did that the whole time {feel bad for the Daron and Jenice to have to put up with that}. {In pic is Dan- He came in late, but still bowled with us and hanged out with us. He was the one who taught us how to play "Garbage Man"--yeah, Dan is a crazzie one!!}

So we came back to the place and talked a while. then Daron and Jenice came in with cupcakes in the shape of 23. Jenice said "there are 23 cupcakes here, but you can only make 21 wishes because 2 candles went out.." haha. Dan asked if he could have one and i said yeah... but he waited before he asked again. as soon as Dan had one.. Hans yelled at him- but i said that it was ok.. so Hans said "oh good, because i wanted one." LOL.

Oh-As soon as they were in my apartment, they were all shocked. They loved the view, the size, and the couch. They even loved Delaney's horse- haha. {Hans here is wondering if he should take the horse to his room} So we all ended up playing this card game called "Garbage Man"... It's a confusing game to explain, but it was fun. Played that game over and over and just had fun. I was the "President" 4 times in a row-YAYS!! Oh yeah, Jenice came down with 2 gifts and a card. I opened the gifts- it was a 2 in 1 paper cutter {SWEET!!! I know i'll use that alot for my scrapbooking, or even for projects} And the other one is a pen set- 84 colorful pens... so if you ever need a colorful pen, you can come to me. :D I have from yellow to black, from blue to pink, from brown to green and from orange to any other color you can think of..

Then we played basketball and volleyball at the rec-center. That was fun.. :D Kayla was covering me on Basketball and just wouldn't leave me alone- so i kept poking her. hahaha. just having fun! {In pic is Avery with his sister-in-law Kayla, Andrew and Sean. Hans is in the background Maybe staring at the cupcakes or talking to Dan}

So that was my b-day. I wouldn't want to change it for anything, because i was able to spend time with friends and just have a great time with everyone and i am sure that they had a great time too. :D It's not every day that the b-day girl throws herself a party.. haha

In my Bible reading- i am just amazed each time at how much He truely loves us. And how much He put Himself in our shoes and lived like we did. He let the temptation come- but being that He was and is perfect, He didn't do them. But He knows what we go through when we are tempted. It's just amazing!! I praise Him each day for what He has done for us, and for giving us so much. We don't deserve anything, and yet He continues to give us things and gie us strength to make it through a day or a week. Each trail we go through, He is there. I am ever so blessed to know Him as my Savior!!

I am blessed with my friends- each one of them is a blessing to me. From my freinds from college to the ones i made since i've been here. I can't ask for better freinds than what i have. and i have the greatest friend of all time- Christ!! :D

2008-11-18T22:50:00.005-05:00

I am ever so blessed to know that we cannot lose our Salvation- no matter what we do. He forgave us and continues to forgive us when we repent and go to Him.

There still is light- and He is the Light of the World. He lights my pathway and maketh a way for me through trails {not to go through it but to go through it with our minds set on Him}.

I am beginning to see that a true relationship after God's own heart has to be with both people working together to Honour Him and to give Him all the glory. How can one person be on fire for God and the other not and still call it a godly relationship? There just isn't any way that could be. Both people need to encourage one another and by doing that they need to be in His Word 1st and to be seeking after Him 1st. Then they can encourage their friend or mate. It helps out loads when they can also encourage you too.

The past few days i got talking to this guy name Stephen. It's been ever so encouraging to be ble to encourage him and have him also encourage me too. His testimony is just amazing. He was in the Navy when this Christian was talking about Christ. Noone wanted to listen to him, but Stephen did and was interested in what he was saying. So the guy gave him a Bible to read. Stephen read in the back one day of how to give the Gospel to someone.. and as He was reading, he realized that He needed Christ in his own heart 1st. So he came to know the Lord as his Savior and have been changing his life around ever so much. There is more to it than just that- but i thought that this is just amazing and just know that there will be many who will see Christ through him and want to know Christ. It's only been a few days that Stephen and I talked- and somehow i know that this is going to be a great friendship. He is very sweet and just want to know more about the Lord.

Since moving here to Ak, i've been able to start some very wonderful friendship with people who loves the Lord and am seeing that i need to be a friend who loves the Lord too. All my relationships i have now with my friends are God-centered. I am finding that i enjoy hearing what the Lord is working on their hearts about. Hans and I got talking last night, and it was just ever so encouraging to just praise the Lord together. I told him what i was learning and in return he started telling me what he was getting out of the Bible. I wasn't expecting it at all-but was very glad that he did..made me realized how encouraging it is to hear other testimonies of what the Lord is doing. I am ever so thankful for the friends i am making here and just praise the Lord each day for them.

I know that Saturday will be ever so wonderful..just having a good time, yet praising the Lord together. I think that i might just ask someone to give a blessing before i even blow out the candles. This way- we are giving all the glory to Him and letting Him know that He is indeed invited to the party. Yays!! I do hope that the people are not planning on giving me much gifts.. the only gift i want is for them to show up and just have a great time. That is way better than anything they could ever give me.

I started reading a book called "The Journey of Desire" so far it's alright.. in the middle of the 1st chapter the arthur wrote, "Even our troubles and out heartbreaks tell us something about our true destiny." So i had written down, "How we deal with troubles and heartbreaks shows other where our desire lie...may it be on ourself or on God. I pray that it'll just and only be on God-then we can face those hard times ever so much better than if we don't." Which is ever so true- because if we are not desiring to go to Him, then we are only desiring to do what our sin bids us to do.. In the end of the 1st chapter, he goes on to say "To desire something and not to have it-is this not the source of nearly all our pain and sorrow?" I wrote, "we can have a desire to love someone and to be loved back by them.. then when we find out that it's not meant to be, we are ever so heartbroken. we still have that desire to love someone and to be loved, just the heartbrokeness may take a while to heal a bit before we can truly love another. But sometimes giong through the pain and sorrow and heartbreaks we learn new things and grow from it. We end up with a new desire to get out of the pain or sorrow, and we will after we deal with it and give it all over to Christ." If we give it to Christ, then a new desire will be placed in our hearts- we will want to learn more about Him and just receive our love from Him.. His love is greater than anything or more than all the love there is to offer.

Well.. this will be it for now- May you have a blessed day!!

2008-11-18T13:33:00.004-05:00

In Hebrews, I have been chellenged to stand firm in Him. Why would i want to go elsewhere? He is the reason i live, the only One who can really be there for me. he made Himself lower than the angels just to pay the debt that i could never pay for anyone-not even myself. He is the same today, yesterday, and forever-why would i want to go to a "god" that isn't the same but changes?

O'may i not be hardening my heart as i am tempted but to be open and to go to Him when i am tempted. If we hear His voice- O'may we reply "Yes Master, thy servant heareth!" and may we do what He tells us-even if we don't want to go to that place {like Jonah}. If we don't believe the truth that is given us, then how will we believe Christ?? We need to search the Word-and see if the preacher is indeed telling the truth of the bible. May we continue to work till He comes. Serving Him shouldn't be just a job, but be a motive to do our best always and to strive to be better.

I am really seeing how much communication means a whole lot.. Why won't someone talk things out? It only destroys relationships. Mom and Dad didnt' talk to each other much and because of it they suffereed alot. I am sure they could've been much more blessed in their relationship had they talked things through instead of argueing or ignoring each other.

I am indeed finding it worth w hile to get into God's Word.. The more i read the more i want to tell others and the more i tell others the more i want to read the bible. I just long to have someone to be able to tell me what they are getting out of the Bible too. Someone who wants to listen to me and be encouraged yet tell me too so that i may be encouraged also.

I am slowly starting to open up more to my friends and showiong off this new me that i am today. I got talking to his girl name Jessica and i realized how mature i have become already-though i do still need to grow.. but at least this is a great start. O'may i continue to grow in Him and be more mature in my walk with Him. I am not only all about being silly or feeling alone- i am now all about serving God and knowing that I'm not alone-ever-.

I am excited to see where God is leading me, and to see how He is going to lead me there. And He will lead me all the way as long as I am willing to give Him control each step of the way.

Been feeling the need to talk to people- so i've decided to write in my journal alot and also look for people who are willing to listen to me and to encourage me. I am ever so thankful that i am starting to get a bit closer to the friends i've made here.. but i do feel kinda out of place with them all being in school and knowing each other very well. It's amazing how the Lord is working in my heart and i just want to share it with others. i guess this is one of the new desires He has placed in my heart. But i guess writing in my blog alot from now on may help me slow down on wanting to just talk to people- Because most of them are just mega busy with school and work and other things. I do not like bothering people-so i try to find ways not to bother them too much.

Well... thats it for now- I am sure that this isn't the end of this new journey that i am taking. A journey to serve God more and to let Him have control of my life Always!!

2008-11-07T23:55:00.002-05:00

The weather here today has been a huge encouragement to me..as if God is saying- "Look at me!" There was a beautiful sunrise this morning {cloudy as can be, but a section showing off the sun's ray and brightens te land and the mountians in the distance.} then i went to take Hiedi {dog} outside and saw my fav. kinda of clouds-as if God was saying "Dayna, I care about you and know you. I want you to be happy and you will as long as I am in control!" that just made my want to read the Bible more-and so i finished John...and was amazed at how much i was reminded of Jesus's death for me {and everyone}. I was encouraged to remember Christ and what he went through. I remember Doctrine {and theology} calss and all that we talked about on this {Christ's death}. to know that i don't have to go through that- and that it's all paid and He gave me much more...it just does wonders to me.

As i was playing with Delaney with barbies {mainly just holding the thing as we watched Enchanted for the millioneth time}- I looked outside and saw a rainbow. God promised not to flood the world again. But when i saw this rainbow {5th one since i've been here} I was reminded of how much he loves me-as if he was saying "remember me-for I have loved you first! I bring the colors into your life as well as brightening your life!"

Then i had to take Hedi out again and was amazed at how blue the sky was and filled with only my fav. clouds..it took my breath away-and i was all in smiles as i was looking at it. As much as i am in love with someone, i haven't lost my breath like i have today. Amazing! Someone to me is indeed amazing too--but that is all in God's timing. All i can do is wait and try to give Him {God} everything-even my love for this someone.

I recently regiven my life to the Lord- and have only been amazed at how He is already working in my life. I fell in love with someone over the past few weeks- something came up and now my heart is broken. I am ever so confused and yet i just want to talk things out and work it out with this guy... but it seems like he just wants time to himself only. It pains me ever so to not be able to talk things out with him and just get our focus onto God... but i cannot force him to talk to me- he needs to talk to me when he is ready to talk.. and i pray that we can at least still be friends--no matter how much i do care for him.

I was aching to just to talk to someone and a random guy Imed me earlier today on a site i was on.. and was only amazed at how much our conversation was on God more than anything else. It was amazing and i long to have more conversations like that with people--for surely with this certian someone that i care deeply about. This random guy that i had talked to had mentioned in his profile that he has a tender heart... and it got me thinking- what a nifty way of saying that he wears his heart on his sleeves. :D

I am also wanting to learn how to mature better. I am determined to become a better woman after God's own heart. I asked Jayme to send me my copy of the book "A Woman After God's Own heart".. I have tons of notes in there that i know will encourage me and help me out now. I am seeing that i am growing a lot since i came here.. and meeting this someone only made me a better woman of God than i was before. I only pray that i was of some help to him too and had encouraged him to continue to fellow God more. To me- from the day i met him and till now, i see that he has indeed grown into a better man.

So- this post is indeed very personal... but i just wanted to get it out and just come back to it someday later and be encouraged that i had done the right thing- or something.

O--if you are reading this... and you have any suggestions or advise as to how i can better mature myself in many areas {i am not sure of them all.. was only commented from someone that it seemed like i was immature... so now i am determined to be better}.. then please do tell me... I would love to hear them. Just tell me how it is.. don't just sugar coat it at all...

2008-09-18T16:57:00.004-04:00

Life!

Life can be hard and challenging. We want things to be different, to go back to where things were better. But honestly, we can never go back in the past and change something. Rather it be something we did, or what was done to us-we can't change it.

This past year i got into something that i shouldn't have, and i never really stood up to what i knew was right. I just let someone walk all over me, and i did not search harder for someone to talk to. I just let it go, and i kept falling into the same thing over and over. The result was only me hating myself very much, and because of that i lied to those that i care about most.

We don't realize at times that changes can happen very fast, and we have to think ahead really fast. How do we react to the change as it is being done is what can make us a better person or not. What i did with a change, i did not become better. But after thinking about what i've done and being able to get advise from others, i know that i need to change my way of thinking now.

I need to fix the problem and correct the lies that i spread, and to stand up more for what i know is to be right-even if it hurts me or makes me lose other's trust in me. I am learning that i need to stand up for myself, because i let people walk over me, and i let them talk me into things.

But just because i got rid of that junk-doesn't mean that i can't still grow. I am going to change things about me, and will not lie in order to look good. I am going to take what comes my way, and I am going to go forward. I keep looking in the past, but i need to be looking ahead and live each day as if it was the last one i have. I need to get things right with my Savior, and i need to keep it right with Him.

There is one person that i miss the most, one person i would love to spend just one day alone..and that is my Grandpa Scott. I know that if he saw me now, he would not be proud. But, i know that he would be proud that i am wanting to do things that are right, and want to get back on the right pathway. My cousin sent me a letter, and i couldn't believe that she did that, because we never really did get to hang out alot. But i am very blessed, because she helped reminded me that the Lord does love me, even through this hard time of my life.

I ended it with Juan, of course he was very upset with me and said that i was only going to listen to one person.. but i have been doing alot of thinking and i am glad that i finally stood up for what i know is right. If i stay "friends" with Juan, then i will only fall more and more.. and i honestly do not want to do that anymore. I am very glad for my decision. And if he wants to think that i am sinning when i do not answer his calls or texts, then be my guest-but i know that for a fact that it isn't a sin to not answer or reply back.

So, this is it for now. Things in the past cannot change- but things in the future can.. and i can start now!

2008-07-01T01:39:00.003-04:00

The other day I received a text from Sam {Samantha}, saying that she was in the USA now. We called each other, and talked for a bit. It was amazing to hear that the missions trip to Turkey went very well. Sam has saved a bird from drowning, but we agreed that she really saved the cat who ate that bird. It sure was great to hear from her again. John and her are amazing together, and I miss being around them both. Sam continues to tell me that when she has a baby, she will make me move in with her and John and be a Nanny to her kids- even though she is going to be a stay at home mom. haha

I love hearing updated on my niece. When I received this picture, I was jumping for joy. She is takin after me, and I am not even there for her to take after from. But I love how she is drinking the bottle like a little monkey that is going to be. She learned how to crawl forward, and is ever so cute. I just wish I could be there to watch her grow in person. But I am blessed to have been able to see her in person and to hold her when she was only 3 weeks old. What a cutie she is!!

Now it's me, things have changed since I went to school last. been jobless- but still have hopes that the Lord has one out there that is perfect for me. I can't wait to see what it is, because I know it has to be very great for me to have to wait this long. I think it will be great to be a Nanny and be around kids all the time. I will only miss the kids that I have started to get to know on Monday Nights for our bus kids program {which this week's it was Crazzie with 22 kids for my class}. Other than Monday nights with the kids, I don't feel like I belong at Faith anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love the Pastor, and I love some of the people there... it's just, when I am there- I feel alone. Have felt that way for years now and is one of the reasons I joined another church. So I have been slacking off with going to church on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.

I met this guy online at random who never heard anything about Jesus Christ. So I sent him a Bible and will be able to give him the Good News and have him read it himself. This seems to help get my mind back on where it belongs.

A friend of Juan's died the other day. So when he came to pick me up, I was able to be of some comfort to him by being here for him. I am a bit sad, because I know it's not easy loosing someone that close to you. We didn't do much, but just being there in his presence had help him out a bit. I am glad that I could be there for a friend in need. :D

2008-05-15T09:45:00.006-04:00

School is over, and now i am home. I can't believe how much i have learn and changed since the 1st day of school. Things are different, even i am different. New things yet to learn, and yet things to remember.

I had my very 1st interview. It turned out to be for sales {meaning i would go to houses to sell items}.. Not my cup of tea at all. I much rather be in the dishpit or cleaning {with no spiders}. I just want to work, but i guess i am a bit picky with what i want.

I haven't been able to go to my church yet, and it's been almost 2 weeks now. Everytime i call for a ride, noone answers. Im thinking that their phone was turned off or something. I really want to go to my church and not Faith.

Tomorrow, Jayme is taking us up to watch the new Narnia movie. I am excited and can't wait. I am glad to be home -kinda- Because i get to see Jayme and hang out with him more than i usually do.

China had a 7.8 Earthquake a few days ago. Many people are still traped and many are dead. Much more are homeless, and not enough food or water for them all. It is really sad really... knowing that there isn't anything that i can do to help them, besides pray for those who are still alive.

The News is now saying that the Nazis are still alive and how they are still against the Jews. And yet, the Jews are just trying to keep their land. Why not just leave them alone and go on with life?? Why must people be so mean and want to kill others? They wouldn't want someone blowing them up or anything, so why do that to others? It's just stupid.

Why must we be in a war when we are all humans and are very alike--just serve different gods or serve the one and only God. He will be coming soon... i just know it. But at the same time, i am struggleing spiritually ever so much.. just people are making more drama over one situation and not willing to help me spiritually. So of course i will go towards what they are trying to pull me away rather than trying to help me see spiritually. Jayme got me thinking a bit more about it all, by telling me that this is adultery, but that was about it. Noone is willing to help me stay focus on Him... maybe it's best if i just forget about it all.. about going to church, or having friends or having family. It does seem like i am alone anyways.

2008-04-30T13:20:00.003-04:00

Another year done of college!! This has been a fun, hard year. So many things happened- from things given away to disappointments. But in the end, it all worked out for His glory. I am still friends with my best friend, and I learned a lesson from all of this. Forgiveness is a powerful thing, and can be hard. It is best to have communication with one an other- and if the other doesn't want to talk, then just give it to the Lord. He will take care of it in time.

I am excited that I am done with Finals and now can relax and have a good time with my friends and family. I shall learn new lessons and shall face new trials. But for today, I shall rejoice in His name, because He got me through this year. I wouldn't have been able to do anything if it wasn't for Him.

There is still light at the end of the road, i just need to get from here to there. Even though it may be hilly, or long or never ending, the Lord is the one in control of the driving by telling me what exit i need to take or when to take a rest stop. the Lord knows when we need a small breakm and He gives it to us. He doesn't give us what we cannot handle. :D

2008-01-30T16:54:00.000-05:00

My older sister had a baby on December 5th of 2007. The baby's name is Reyna Ruthanna Allen. She is ever so cute. During Christmas break, i was able to fly down there and see my little niece. I loved holding her and watching her many faces that she made.

It was a blast getting to hang out with Ruthanna, Kaytie, Chris and Joy. I was able to talk to Chris a bit here and there, and i was able to talk to Joy- which we haven't done much of since she got married. It had been different between us, because she is now married and have a job and now a baby to take care of. And i am working and going to school.

I love her blue eyes- but all babies have blue eyes when they are born, then it changes into the color that is theirs forever. Chris has brown eyes, and Joy has hazel eyes {like me}. Reyna looks alot like Chris and a bit of Joy {what a shocker, i know!!}

Anyways, School is going alright. Taking 3 computer classes, 2 Biblical Counseling classes and 1 class that i had to retake. I love my classes and do enjoy it. 2 of my classes i have no friends in, but that is alright!! I might not be able to do my work if i had a friend in there. :D

I love working with the kids at church. They are ever so cute and adorable and trouble makers- it's great. Wednesdays, i get to watch 3-6 year olds. I even help out with the puppets, GO PUPPETS!!! Then i am on the bus playing around with the kids and making sure they don't go into the back-back of the bus or crawling on the floor {YUCK! the floor sure is dirty!} and Sundays, i work with the 2 and 3 year olds. It is fun. :D

Well- thats all i can think of to update you with. :D Yup- still am alive and breathing. Praise be to Him!!

2007-11-02T15:29:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of kids and whatnots! First off, are some of the Bus-kids for Wednesdays! Ali is a sweet girl, but does have alot to learn still. She is very talkative, and is so like any Middle School girl. Mitchele is the trouble maker on the bus. But, if ya get his attention with something {like a game or something challenging} he will behave for a bit.

Rob and his son, Matthew. Matthew is a cutie- but sure does love to talk and wonder around. He loves to be the center of the attentions. hahaha. Like one time he went around the room telling everyone, "boys are not allowed to be scared". hahahahaha

The 3-5 year olds i work with on Wednesdays. This is during game-time. they sure do love to play and run around. it is always new teams, and always ends up a tie {no matter which side has the most wins}..

Angela is one of the 2 girls in the room {besides the workers..} She is quiet and sweet and loves to help out {sounds like me}

David {Angela's little brother}. He loves to wonder around too, but he is indeed quiet, so one min he's next to ya and the next he is gone. they are glueing little items onto their picture.. which we were learning about following that which is good and not evil {bad}.

Alex- he is a very outgoing kid. His dad works with me in the kitchen {Mr. Pete}. His sister {Elizabeth- picture shown later}, is also outgoing when she gets to know ya.

Before going onto the bus on Wednesdays, we have a little meeting and we pray for the kids. Here we were just playing around just a bit with picture taken.. Jolene wasn't feeling to well, and Tim {the guy} took a pic of her on his phone.. i just love that smile on his face. The pic he tooken was a great pic of Jo.. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. He laughed when i showed him this pic.

James- is another guy who works on the bus with us on wednesdays. He is one crazzie guy. We did left him behind one time..ops!! he had his stuff on the bus, and he went into the church to look for the kids- and well... we were gone when he came out. hahaha. He also got the job for sercuity at nights. So it is fun seeing him in his outfit and picking on him. All the sercuity had to had pepper-spray done to them... he wasn't happy about it at first,but when i saw him later, he was braging about it. lol
Jolene with Alexis on Sunday Morning. He doesn't like his picture taken- but he sure does love to be the center of attention. One crazzie kid he is.

Sodukoo, she is a sweet sweet girl. She doesn't know english very well, but she does love to smile. I got her to talk to me in spanish a bit- she was shocked that i knew some words in spanish. hehehe :D

Pedro- one out going kid. Here he is showing off his "Invasion of CheeseIts".. hahaha. I have a video about it- Way too funnie. I can't get onto the site here at school to post it-.. maybe laters! :D The kids are funnie!

Ty with a ball. He loves his picture taken and was asking me to take about 394583295 of them {which i deleted most of them. hahaha}. He is one of 5-6 kids that i take to tell a story after a while of playing. Elizabeth is the little girl in the background. Daniel is the little boy in the background. He now has a blackeye- because he thought it would be fun to run into his older brother's head as they were taken a "nap". {that is what his mom said}

Erisa {friend from Japan} with Michele. He is a very quiet boy, but can talk ya ear off if ya let him. Erisa grew up in Japan and now her parents are missionaries out there. I heard her talking in Japaneess with her mom a few weeks ago, and it was very nifty hearing how fast she was talking in the other lang.

The view i see when i am on the top bunk in Jolene's room.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.. it sure is fun trying to get up there.. haha!

Rachel, Travor, Mel... all who i work with on nights. Rachel and Mel works on the 2nd, 3rd floor and the coffee shop. Travor works with me on the 1st floor, basement and the library.There are 2 other people on my team, and 2 others on the girl's team {which are not shown in this pic}..

After putting the trash away i took a pic of the side of Old Main {OM}. Pretty nifty with the light and whatnots. ya can see the little lobby area to that door {shown in the window} that leads to the Student Center. cool-beans!

And thats that.. hope ya enjoy seeing some new pics! sorry- none new of me!

2007-10-31T15:32:00.000-04:00

My Savior

Lord, how can I live for you today?
How can I show my love for you today?
How can I serve others today?
And how can I help someone today?

Father, may I live today to glorify you?
May I show my heart to you?
May I serve others today so they see you?
And may I help someone to walk the pathway to you?

Master, can I live for you tomorrow?
Can I love you more tomorrow?
Can I serve others greatly tomorrow?
And can I help someone in a wonderous way tomorrow?

Sheperd, In what way can I live for you now?
In what way can I love you now?
In what way can I serve someone now?
And in what way can I help someone now?

My God, you showed me the way I must live always!
You showed me how I must love you always!
You showed me how I must serve someone always!
And you showed me how I must help someone always!
Oct-27-07'

2007-10-30T11:51:00.000-04:00

I gave blood yesterday, and ended up passing out afterwards. I was so out of it the whole day, and i was light-headed the whole day. So i called Deanna to sub in for me and she said that she would {which i am ever so thankful for her doing that for me}. I was in bed by 9:10 and was half asleep when my roomies came into the room. I had left the smaller lights on and had the over-head light off. when they came in, they didn't know that i was in bed. So they turned the light on and was a bit loud- then they saw that i was in bed and wasn't sure if they should wake me up or not. Stephanie came in and told them that i wasn't doing so well and that they should try to keep it down for me {awwws}. I am glad that i was able to sleep {a good 9-10 hours}. I have more pink in me today than i had yesterday. But i am going to take it easy today too. Maybe just to some of my reading for my classes. i am trying to find a sub for tonight- that way i won't have to push myself too hard.

Alicia, a girl in one of my classes.. also a friend who is just an inch taller than i am, has been taking lots of pictures {something like the pic shown}.. So i kinda got into doing that a bit. found out a how to make it go black-n-white.. i rather like it. :D.. The pic is in the lobby area of the library. {where i work at nights... also when i had tooken the pic..} Pretty nifty i say! what do you think? I even have a pic of TP if you wanna see it.. hahahahahaha.. don't ask me why i took a pic of TP,, but i did. :D Anyways----- Have a lovely and a wonderful day!

2007-10-26T18:43:00.000-04:00

I've been reading in Psalms and Proverbs lately. I can't help but wonder how Great my God truly is. He created all there is on earth and even all there is not on earth. It is such an amazing story to read how God cares for us, with each verse that i read.

I still have a hard time getting the fact that He loves me into my mind. What is love? and Why does He love a sinner like me? The answer is within the Word of God.

God is love. Love is being there for someone and showing them the love through action. God showed His love by sending us His Son for our sins. He loves a sinner like me, because He cares so much about us. {tell you the truth, i am not srue how to answer this.. because He created us and gave us a soul. Why us? Why not the ants or the monkies? Why does He care more about us then His other creations?} But He loves me for me, and He wants me to worship Him and give Him my all. And that is all that i can do, is to be where He wants me to be, go where He wants me to go, and to give Him the praise. I need to stay in His Words daily and need to go to Him with anything and everything.

I have a friend here who grew up in a public school, and blieved in the Big-Bang. She came to know the Lord and saw that she needed Him. She has grown so much since {didn't know her before she was saved, but from the stories i hear from her- proves that she has grown so much} then and is on Fire for God. It is truly a blessing to be in Theology class with her, as the teacher brings in some Greek words and she knows them. It astonishes me how much one can grow in Him and know so much just by getting involved. I do try to get involved, but it is hard when i can't understand something and am not sure how to ask in a way so i can get an answer that i will understand, and it frusterates me ever so.... but i can't do anything about it, so i sometimes just tends to forget about it or just not worry about it.

This past week, we had Missions Converence. Someone {who frought in the Vietnam War} talked one day on having a prayerful life, and how we are going into war and need to pray for those that we can talk to. Rather it be someone in the woods or someone next door. A few weeks ago, a huge group of college kids and a few staff members went to State St. and talked with many unsaved souls. 6 people came to know the Lord as their Savior. What a blessing that is. To know that i have a new brother/sister in Christ somewhere. :D God is ever so good, and He is working in many people to give out the Good News. Now, i just need to do that too... O' How shy i can be around people i do not know- yet i tend to be more outgoing when i am around someone i know or when i know that that person isn't going to harm me. {like working with someone for a while, then open up to them a bit as time goes by..}

So that is a little update on this past week and whatnots!

2007-10-25T18:20:00.000-04:00

A beautiful Sunset- can't beat that! God is ever so good to us. I often can't understand why He would love us so much to send His son for our sins. Also, why would He let us see this {differently each time} all the time?

Esther is sitting there with the violin on her own, because the others where in the choir.

I made Jolene a flower for the Fall Fest. She sure does have a great friend----well, date at the time!

Joelene and I before Fall Fest started. Not too shappy i say! Stephen took the picture for us, as he was super nervous about something. He had flowers for Debrah, very sweet i think.

Another Sunset. Yup, i sure do love looking at sunsets. :D last week we saw a rainbow. I have a pic on my phone, but not sure how to add it to the computer.. o-wells. It sure was beautiful too.

Katie doing check-ins. I use to work with her on nights.. mega nifty!!

Michele...awwwwwws

Me! What else to say but BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deanna cleaning... FINALLY!!!!

Dr. Clemons and his wife. He use to be the pastor for my church back home.. back when i was a tiny thing.

Pastor Marriott {at the end} there. It was a surprise to have seen him this week.

And thats that! enjoy!

2007-10-05T20:01:00.000-04:00

SPIRIT WEEK!!

Buddy, reading his Bible before chapel! During the Retro day!

Jason on the phone- Crazzie guy! Normal day!

Mary and I! Blue and Gold day!

Jessica! On Home State day!

John and his Lil sis Tina! on Service day -aka- Red White n Blue day!

Some Dude who preached this week. He use to do drugs and a guy came to him telling him about Christ. He soon came to know Christ as his Savior a few years later. His testimonie was great, and he was fun to listen to! This picture, he just got done throwing two books out into the crowd. :D

Dr. Jackson before class started. He didn't had a way aroung to get there, so he hoped over the tables..haha.. too bad i didn't have it on video! it sure was funnie to watch him do that.

The guys! Aaron, Buddy, Geo. What crazzie guys they are! On Service day!

Jolene and I! Blue n Gold day!

Kersten {left}, Deanna {right}! on blue n gold day!

Ali on top there.. Crazzie!!! yeah for blue n gold day!

two random guys standing there before chapel started. The guy on the right ended up beating some random person {a friend of his i am sure and was only playing around i am sure}! On service day!

two other random guys on service day!.. Crazzie!

Dan on service day trying to look manly! haha

Willie and some guy acting out on service day!

Stephanie, Kelly, and some other girl on retro day! O MY!!!!

Dave {middle} and two random guys

2007-10-01T18:43:00.000-04:00

Today was a very lovely and beautiful day. 1st it was a bit rainy- but not too much to get soaked. I woked up to my phone going off {man, i love it when i wake up to it--rather than my alarm} then, i got ready and wrote out my paper thing for Spirit week {today's is Home State}.. so i wrote on a paper "DET. MICHIGAN Lets Go Red Wings!" and had on a red-n-white t-shirt on. :D {YAY! DETROIT!!!}. I went to my classes, which were all okies. I had to laugh at Ali tho, because she and a friend of hers was carrying around a corn-stock HAHAHAHAHAHA {being that they are from IOWA}. I got a pic of Ali and I {but not with the Corn-stock or of my shirt..o-wells.. will add it when i get the chance to put it onto the computer!} Then, Lunch was good- Got to eat with Mary, Jolene and Rebecca {also a girl name Katie came and ate with us... Katie Potter!! yeah, there's alot of Potters around.} Anyways, it was great being able to talk with Mary and Rebecca. They are two silly girls. Like Mary and I would lean in towards each other and make it look like we are telling each other a secret about Rebecca.. or whatnots.. :D great fun! Then i checked my email and did my blog thing {which the computer was going ever so slow.. I would type and it would writ eit onto the screen-but 2 lines behind what i was typing. hahahahahaha}. Then as i was about to leave, Mr. McKee saw me and stoped me saying that my timecard is off. So i went to his office with him real fast and then got that fixed {Time machine didn't clock me out on Thursday nor clocked me in on Friday, so i would've gotten 25 hrs pay... as if i had worked 25 hours.... KILLER!!} But he was busy with other things too, so i wasn't able to just stick around and ask him questions. O-wells, it's not that important anymore anyways. I really could care less about it now, because Jason sees that i am a good worker after-all.

So off to the dorms i was. before i made it to the dorm, Ruthanna's dad called asking if i would want that red car of theirs.. so i said yeah! SO MEGA COOLS. So Jolene and I are going to share the cost and take care of it and drive it around town. I am excited about that. Maybe if we can fix the one problem with it {something to do with the oil and the anti-freeze thing.. i dunnos} then maybe Jolene and i can take a road-trip. besides, having a car will help me get better with my driving, and being that i do have a licence {YEAHS!... which should be on it way here now} I would be able to drive it whenever.. this is just too cools!

Then i went and told Jolene and she was shocked about it. then Becca came over {to Weeks, being that is where Jolene works and that is Becca's Dorm} and told us about this guy that they knew back home. He was in jail {for something.. but he was unsaved}.. and Becca's dad {the pastor} would go to the jail and counsel this guy and give him the Gospel. So the guy got out of jail and when we got out a week later he came to know the Lord. Now he is changing his lifestyle around for Him and his girlfriend is starting to go to church to. God is ever so good! Praise be to Him on High!!! He answers prayers in strange ways at times!

2007-10-01T15:27:00.000-04:00

Lord

Lord, You helped me up when i was falling

You gave me life and a reason to live

You sent me loved ones and friends

When i sin against you, you forgave me

Lord, You know me like no other

You held me when I was down

You gave me someone to care for

When i'm sad, you sent someone my way

Lord, you are the One i give my praises to

You are whom i give thanks for this life of mine

You are my joy and my strength

When i'm alone, I can still give praises to you

Lord, you hear my cries in the night

You answer my prayers with tenderness

You know my heart, and yet you still love me

When i'm down, you are the One to give me hugs
-Dayna Aug-31-07'

What a blessing it to know that God is there with you always and that you can go to him and He will hear you and answer you with love and tenderness. He will not beat you over the head and tell you that you are stupid, even tho you are at times, but he will give you the hugs and the encouragment that you need. I am very glad that i can go to him and that i can call out His name and know that He will help me. even if i am falling, He will help me up. When i am hit with a test or with an issue, He is there to help me through it and even if i was to fail the test- he is there to show me the right way.

Sometimes i may fail a test and by failing the test i learn alot more than when i didn't fail that test. Sometimes i need to prove to myself that i am not a failure and that i can do all things Through Him who strengthest me and my day. I've finished my paper, and i learned that He is all powerful and all mighty. He is bigger than anything in the world and he careth for them a whole lot- so why wouldn't He care for me too?! So it is a blessing to know that he is there for me and that I can work with His strength and pass that same test or the next test!

2007-09-22T15:52:00.000-04:00

Ever feel like you were falling and there's no way to stop? Almost as if you were falling in a bottomless pit. How can one land or how can one stop? Well, the answer is simple! Just know that the Lord is there with you, and will help you through it all.

I have felt like i have been falling for a long time now. I did realized one time that He was there with me all the way, but I never once landed. How can that be? Well, i simply did not apply anything to my heart for a while. I would read the Bible once in a while, and it seemed like He wasn't hearing my cries. But He was hearing my cries in the night, and He was listening to me. He replied back in a whisper, but I didn't hear them. Then when, all was quiet, and I was willing to just listen, i heard those whispers. He was saying, "I love you!" Oh how little i see His love for me, but yet- His love for me is so great tht i could never see how much He truely loves me. He gave me this life, and He gave me loved ones in my life {family, friends, and even strangers}

As I was growing up, I always felt that i was alone. As if noone was there by me when i needed someone the most. But i was blind to see that the Lord was there with me, and was giving me all those hugs i had longed to have. He was telling me, "Lean on Me. When your not strong, and I'll be your friend. I help you carry on. For, it won't be long, till you're going to need, somebody to lean on." He is my Counselor, and He is my Shepherd. He guideth my way, and He leads me on the right way. Christ Galkin sings, "In my Weakness, He is strong." And that is ever so true. We need His strength to keep going on.

I am doing a paper on Isaiah 40, and I am to explain the nature of works of God. I read the chapter first and wrote down what all I saw in that chapter. But as i am making notecards out from different books, I am starting to really see that He is indeed all Love. He made everything, and He careth for them. Even when He is silent, He hears us. It is amazing to see that we are like grass {that grows very fast and falleth fast too} and He is there to help us to grow in Him and to not fall. He is our water that we need to grow- but without Him, we can not grow. We will fall without Him, He stands firm. No matter how much wind blows- He will not blow around, movng this way or that. We, as grass, will blow this way and that way when the wind hits us.

It's like getting on a train. How would one know that the train won't tip over, or if the one got on the right train? Simple! They trust that it is going the right way and that they are on the right one. We should put our trust on Him and know that He will not lead us the wrong way or have us on the wrong pathway. What a blessing it is to know that! We don't have to say good-bye! Because it's not forever that we won't see each other {unless you are on the wrong train} We can go together {even if i was to be in your suitcase! haha}!

So do i feel like i am falling now? the answer is No. I have landed and now i see that I am loved and that I am indeed going the right way. He is there with me through it all. No matter how many papers i have to do, or how much discouragement is on me.. I can go to Him and know that He heareth my cries in the night and even in the daytime. I just need to stop at times and hear His soft whisper, "I Love You!"

2007-09-21T15:42:00.001-04:00

My room-mates! I don't have all of their pics, but i shall sneek two more of my other two roomies! *evil Grin*.

Frist we have here, Jill. Jill is 20 and is a trasfer student from Bob-Jones. So i get to hear all the lovely stories and the different rules that they have there at BJ. But that is alright with me. She loves to talk and is very girlie. I see her mainly playing on her computer or talking on her phone with her dad or ex-b/f . Liz and her are liek best friends, so they get along very well. Jill is indeed beautiful and can be very funnie at times. But if we were not in the same room, you wouldn't see me around her much. In fact, she would be one of the 95% people that i do not know here. But it's all cools!

Then we have here, Lindsay. She is a freshmen and is very smart {somewhat}. .She is also on the phone when i see her- talking to a guy she likes. We share the same desk {but i happened to have been at te desk when she came in---i should take a pic of the room}. She is ever so girly that it makes me sick a bit- but luckily, i don't have to be girly! She is good friends with Liz and Jill too, so that is odd. She also wouldn't be one of the people you see me around with if we weren't in the same room. {in fact, i think it's like that with all my roomies... o-wells!}

I do get along with my roomies- but i tend to feel like the odd one out. Being that my background is 100% different, that i am 99% different from them, and that i am quiet 80% of the time. I don't see a need to talk- besides, they are all talking alot- so it is hard to get into the conversations at times.

So that is two of my roomies. There are 5 of us in the room. this weekend we have a visitor, Stephanie. She is in 11th grade and wants to go to BJ. So more power to her. She seems okie- but i didn't get to see her much {being that she was hanging out with friends or i was off to work. she was sleeping when i came back and was up before i was up... nothing new, even my roomies are like that} I don't mind it at all.

This weekend i get to work with Jolene in the Dinning Hall {the New building}.. I am excited, because i don't get to work with her much. Last time i was here, i was able to sneek over there after we were done and help them out a bit. I was their- Honorary worker..because i wasn't on their team, but i worked with them at times. :) YEAHS! that was fun... I always make work fun- even when i was working in the factory. Work wouldn't be fun if ya don't make it fun {rather you are doing dishes or welding parts together or checking the same parts for 6 weeks in a row... gotta make is fun..} How do i make it fun? well, if i can, i would throw a glove- or i would just simply dance as i am working {small -clean dance}.. or i would just sing {random songs that happen to be in my head or whatever comes up} So yeah! thats that... anything else- i guess will have to wait. LOVE YA! Leave a comment if ya have any questions.. and yes i am still breathing and still alive! YEAH go me!

2007-09-18T13:21:00.000-04:00

Okies, so here is a picture of me standing by the bed in Jolene's room. I slept on top there, and yes-it was a blast climbing on there. It is mega high and mega scarey trying to get down. In the background, you can see Jolene's little teddy-bear {the white thing there}.. and Yes! I still do not remember giving it to her. But she told me that I did and that she remembers how i gave it to her, just I do not remember. Anyways- don't i look so cute!!? I found out that if i was to pull that sweater all the way down, it would look like i am not wearing a skirt that checks {Yes! It does go down to my knees.. so i can just wear that and it'll be checkable.. hahahaha}

Then, with me being here, i get to see this kind of picture from God very well. It sure does beat looking at the wunset with trees in the way or houses. Sometimes, when i am walking to the dorms after my night job, i can be able to see the stars. And being that it is Sept, my fav stars are out..YEAHHS {Ryan's Belt} Why is it my fav? I do not know why, but it is. I also like looking for the dippers {big or lil}.. mega cools! God is ever so good to us! :D Yeahs!! I am very blessing being able to see that in my life!

Babysitting was a blast!! Got to play around with the kids and listened to Ethan say his words {like camp, damp, lamp, pump...etc}, and I was able to ask Aaron some math questions {like 9-6, 8+5..etc..} After he got all those, we {Kevin and I} asked Aaron some harder questions {like 100+90-60+2-1+5... ya know.. just random things like that.. and he did get them all-well, not one.. but he was only off by 5}. I had a blast playing with the kids and making sure they were clean before it was bed time. Mrs. Mayes got back before 8:30, so i didn't have to put the kids to bed myself {she went and did that instead}. I went and folded my clothes and loved hearing kevin and Mrs. Mayes laughing at some picutres they have. I loved hearing family do that- and to know that they do get along {because there are some families whodo not get along at all.}. I am blessed that my family gets along {even tho it is hard to get to know someone.} But i guess it really doesn't matter anymore!

I love being away from home, but at the same time- i miss it. strange ah? well, it is true. I do miss having a big bed to sleep on, or having my own desk {without worrying if i am in someone's way}.. or being able to watch t.v. at times, or not having to have a paper due on a certain date- etc.... but it's alright. I do love it here {even tho i kinda don't wanna be here... if you know what i mean!} I am still looking around at other colleges- but i might end up staying here this coming semester and may just go to a different college next year. I am just not sure yet.. i mean, i want to be here- but at the same time i don't. I love the Biblical Counseling program here, and see that it will be very helpful for me later in life.. {So that is what i am looking at when i am looking at other colleges.. i see if they have a Biblical Counseling and if it's good!} So that is what is going on for now. :D HOLLA!!!!

2007-09-16T14:13:00.000-04:00

Today is a great day to praise His name on high! This week has been ever so crazzie, but it is indeed alright. I was discouraged by a friend's wisdom that was spoken to me. But it is alright, i took it to heart {like i normally do with things}, and i prayed about it. In some ways they are right, but in others they are not. Because i am indeed a hard worker, and i am being myself wherever i am at. {So i haven't changed at all.} I am find with what they told me, but it just hurted when they told me.

Friday night, i was able to sleep at Gould dorm for the night and hang out with Jolene and Michelle. We played Settlers before Jolene and I went to work {i won.. yeahhhs}.. Then after work, we watched Peter Pan. 3am we were in bed. {I shall post a picture of me standing next to be bed.. and i was the one on the top.. HAHAHA!!}. Then I was up at 10 am for work. Then i was busy with studing for a test that i have on Wednesday, and also making sure that my answeres were right {look it up in the book}.. I also made soem notecards up for a paper that is due soon. So i've been trying to get that started. It's just Crazzie! so much to do, and so little time. I am working 14-21 hours a week, plus having 4 classes, and loads of reading to do for those classes {not adding in the time that i need to do the papers that need for those classes}.. But it's alright. At least my Theology paper is due soon and my Doctrine paper is due later! So i don't have to work on them both right away. YEAHHS!!!!!!!!

I called home last night after work {being that we got done within an hour.. which is the fastest we were done, and it was before Jason was back from Farmtastic... so there were just 3 of us doing all of Old Main-OM- and the library.. so congrats to us!!} Turns out that they didn't send my coat yet- needless to say they didn't even put it in a box.. :( so i am freezing over here and i can't do anything about it. O-wells. Liz {My Prayer Captian-PC} brought my another blanket. I thought that was nice of her but odd because i don't need a blanket right now. {maybe when the snow hits i will need it the most..} I have 3 blankets that i use now, and another one i just leave on the other bed and grab that one whenever i need it. But being by the window will indeed get me cold. O-wells. it's all cools. I really don't mind it too much! It is indeed a bed and i can sleep at night {even if i have to have my head under the covers at times- to keep my nose warm--which keeps my body warm too if i am breathing in warm air instead of cold!}

Well- thats that for now.. I need to get some sleep before work tonight. :) So have a great and a wonderfully blessed day!

2007-09-06T10:57:00.001-04:00

Kaytie and I! What a cutie we are. Anyways, I do miss hanging out with Kaytie. she is indeed a good sister to have-even if she does get on ya nerves at times. Kaytie and I both agree that if we weren't sisters, then we most likely wouldn't even be friends. We are so different from each other that we probably would have never even met. Her pick in friends are different than mine. But it's all cools.

Since I've came to MBBC- I've started to have more friends. Even if i don't hang out with them at all, we know each other somewhat. It is ever so easy to meet someone here- but it is ever so hard to become good friends with them all. That is why I only have a few friends here. But that is alright with me-i enjoy having a few friends. I don't have to be alot of friends to be happy. But it does feel good to walk around and people say hi to you- just because they know ya name. I don't know most of their names, so i just say Hi back.. hahaha.

I am ever so glad that Deanna is around. I don't get to hang out with her much- because we are doing our own thing alot and it is hard to catch her at times. Last weekend {as Jolene and I were walking to Ruthanna's} we ran into Deanna and a few of her friends Kersten and someone i dunnos}. That was pretty interesting and cool that we did. *grins*

College is ever so crazzie at times. There are people who is only serious all the time, and then there are people who are ever so crazzie {like me}. Here is Nathan Muse- in a play that i went to my Sophomore year. This play was about a crazzie family doing crazzie things- but they love each other that they stick together.. it was very cute and ever so funnie. I am sure that there will be loads of funnie plays going on this year too- which i would love to go {if i am not working that is....}

Stephen! A friend of mine. He is easy to pick on, yet loves to pick back one way or another. He loves working with kids- and is great with them. He is dating Debrah and has been for 3 years now. I was waiting for Jolene one day- and saw him sitting there waiting to Debrah- So i took a pic of him. Hopefully I can take more pics of my close friends {like Mary and Michelle..etc..--not Nathan muse, he isn't a close friend.. just a guy who is popular here. I think he graduated already or will be this year. Which is all cools}

2007-09-05T18:55:00.001-04:00

Okies- so here are some pictures that i stole from mbbc website for labor day. I didn't hang out over there, i mainly hanged out at my dorm talking on the phone or doing some reading for a class {being that i finally gotten my book for a class}. But it looked like those that did go had fun- i did to {just different kind of fun.} Besides, i had a great weekend- so i needed the day to do some work or just to talk on the phone.

Picture: is of Matt and {someone- forgot his name..o-wells}. But Matt {Opie} looks ever so funnie in his outfit. Looks like he is loosing there! Yeah- i am sure that he got wet!
Look there at Geo- {the guy on the bottom left}. He looks ever so scared! Matt there is flying into the air. YIKES! Wouldn't want to be that guy looking up. But the blue tarp is what they use to slid down the hill. Everything was in that feild there by the guy's dorms.

Next we have the DC {Dinning Commons or the Dinning Hall}.. Boy it was ever so packed that day. The line never seemed to stopped. Luckily i didn't have to work in the kitchen that day! YAY me!!!

Awwwws. look here at Meagan and her little brother Nathan. They both have grown so much. I had heard that Mr. Hockman had shaved his son's head- so i guess it's all true with this pic.. haha. But he is still a cutie! Looks like Meagan there was having a blast. There were a few other pictures of her sliding down with other kids too. mega cute!

Then we have here my roommate and her friends. My roommate {mandy} is the one in the orange. She looked like she was having a blast. The 1st week of school, there was a few Anumli games going on. So she invited me to hang out with her and two of her girlie friends. It was cools. So i had went to a football game with them {then left to be on my own} and ended up going to a soccer game with them {then ended up eating supper with people i didn't know-- but it's all cools}

Here we have Dr. Luie's little boy. He is ever so cute! I remember him as a baby. He is growing up. Don't you think he is a cutie, too?? Well, he is! Here he looks ever so happy to have a water-balloon. Which i am sure he popped! hahaha.

So that there is the Labor day fun that we had here at MBBC. In the background you will see the guy dorms. As you can see- the girls were allowed to wear pants {which is not allowed around the Main Buildings} So- thank you for stopping by my blog and seeing these pictures!

2007-09-04T11:48:00.000-04:00

This weekend was a wonderful weekend. Saturday morning, Jolene ,Michelle and I ate brunch together. After that we just hanged out together doing HW and whatnots. Jolene ended up wanting to take a nap- so i went to my room and just did some reading and whatnots. 7pm, Jolene and I walked up to Ruthhanna's place and hanged out with Ruthanna and her new boyfriend, Phil. Phil needed to get a room, so we went to a few different palces- and as he was drving, he was scaring Ruthanna on purpose. {Like going ever so slow then speeding up just to slow down fast.. hahaha}. It was great. Then Jolene and I went off to work.

Sunday morning we went to church. Christy forgot me :(. She is one of the girls i had when i was helping out with the 3rd graders my Freshmen year. She is in 6th grade now tho, along with Racheal and Erin. Anyways- Its been good being back and being able to hear the trains go by alot. Here is a Kodak moment of a train going by. Mega cools! Well, after church we went to China Buffet and ate our hearts out. Boy I had 2 plants full of the chicken stuff and was stuffed myself.

Jolene wanted to go back to her room to do homework- so Ruthanna, Phil and I went back to Ruthanna's. Ruthanna and I got our tickets to go down to TX and then ended up talking for a bit. Bethany {pastor's daughter} called and so we all went out for ice-cream. I had a Strawberrie, Vanilla, Marshmellow Malt.. and boy was it good. *grins* After that, we went to Bethan'y place and watched the Time Machine. Pretty cools.

After going to the night service, we were going to do bowling. But both places were closed for the holiday, so we went to Ruthanna's place and played Apples-to-Apples for about 3 hours. Ruthanna, Phil, Bethany, Jolene, Mom, Dad, and i were playing. Phil won {because he was the 1st to have gotten 5 points}, him and mom had 19 cards, I had 18, Ruthanna had 17, Bethany had 10, Dad had 9 and Jolene had 8. we all have 7 red cards in our hands and we try to get the green cards. the way to get the green card is for the judge to pick your card out of everyone's. the green card will have a word on it {like Crazzie} and the red cards has different items on it {like J.F.K or My Dreams or the 1st day of school...etc.. }. It's a fun game with more than 3 peoples. :D

But it surely was a good day. After playing the game, Jolene and I went off to work and then off to dream land we were. And that for you- was my weekend.. Well- talk laters! Gotta go eat. So I shall post something else laters! Love ya!

2007-08-29T19:01:00.000-04:00

This surely has been a crazzie few weeks for me. Got all packed up to go to school, then went to school, and now I am at school. My things that i left here, ended up went missing. So I spent the 1st day trying to find them, but only turned out that the school gave my stuff away {besides my books}. I was ever so glad to see Jolene again. I missed her loads, so it was great to spend time with her again and just talk.

I found out that i am in Melford this year. Mainly because Stephanie {-pic- whom is the Dorm Supervisor} wanted me in her dorm this year. Which is pretty cool, just i am missing Gould and having to walk that 5 mins to the dorm instead of the 1 min. O-wells. I went to my classes today, and am pleased that I know at least one person in each. Sad news is, i have 1 class with Jasper. But I am sure it will be alright- as long as he doesn't bother me much.

I am indeed missing Juan a whole lot. But i am pleased that i am able to talk to him whenver I can...even tho he keeps saying that i have 20 boyfriends here {which i do not!!}. But other than that, he does make my day when i hear from him. I am glad that we have ways to keep in touch! I think i would pull out all my hair if i couldn't keep in touch with Juan. I do think about Juan a whole lot- and I try not to because i need to be 100% focus on my classes right now. For surely Bible Doctrine and Theology {which are two classes that are alike but diff. and also have the most quizes and papers...AHHHHHHHHHH}

I got called from my kitchen job. I had told Renee' that i have had a class changed and can't make it to work- but she still called me telling me that i was supposed to work. So when I went to eat {between 5th and 6th hour} I told her that i was in class when she called me. I felt kinda bad about it tho- but it's not really my fault. o-wells.

Mr.Mckee wasn't about to let me work for him- because i have an "attitude problem". Guess i need to work on that some more! Bradley and Jason has talked him into letting me work for him again, so i am now on this "Trail base" and he is going to keep in eye on me {to make sure i am doing what i am suppose to do and that my attitude isn't bad.} But now Bradley and Jason are believeing Mr.Mckee {because of something he told them.. not sure what it was.} But i can tell you this... I don't have an attitude problem. I am a hard worker and will do my job- and do what i am told to do. I don't really see where my attitude problem is at- because i am very quiet and do keep to myself alot. But whatever! At least i have the job for now, and maybe i can prove to them that i am indeed a hard worker and that my attitude isn't bad at all. I do believe it has something to do with whatever Becky had told Mr.Mckee when she was my head-leader. Guess she hates those who are a hard-worker and was willing to make me look bad just to make her look good. O-wells!!

2007-08-21T22:52:00.001-04:00

Today was indeed a good day- i woke up and went for a walk with mom. We went to the bank then stopped for ice-cream and talked the whole time. Yeah- i really believe that mom and dad are going to end up getting a divorce within 5-10 years. They are not working things out and are getting madder each day with each other-and then pours it onto us. {pushing me in the middle- which i really do not want to have any part of.} It surely is hard- but that is life i guess!

After talking with Juan for a bit, I was checking my Facebook acount and saw that Katie added new pictures. Awwws!! I do miss her loads! Katie was my PC {Prayer Captain- whom is the leader in each dorm room} during my Freshmen year. She knew that I was into scrap-booking and had started one- she had me work on hers a bit. It surely was a blessing seeing how young she looked to now, and also seeing her siblings and how they looked at a young age too. {Pic: Starting with Katie in Hot Pink, then Anna in the hat, then Bethany in the light-pink, and then Rachel in the tan...I had met Rachel when she came to visit Katie, very lovely lady she is..}

Alot of the pictures showed her special brothers hug. Wonder how it would look like when the youngest one there is 20 years old.. hahaha. {she also has another brother- 8 kids total... mega awesome!} Katie was the RA {Resident Assistant- whom is in charge of the floor and is over the PCs} She wasn't my RA, but i went to her for alot of things. Like when Aunt Jodi's mom {whom is my adopted Grandma} died- i tooked it a bit hard. Katie just gave me a huge hug and prayed with me. Now, i think she is going to be back this year- and if she is, it truly would be awesome to see her around! :D YAY for friends!!! Now, i think Rachel might be going to school there- so that would be cool to become friends with her a bit! :D we have something in common already {growing up in a big family!}

So after being on Facebook- i ended up watching Scarey Movie 4 {with John, Nikko, Chris, Chris' sister, and Kaytie} It was funnie- just some parts could do without... but it's alright. I went up-stairs to start packing the books i wanna take with me- then ended up talking for about an hour with Joy {which was very awesome indeed- and I am ever so excited to be seeing her in Dec.. YAYS!!} Then after finishing with the books- i went downstairs and dad was "watching" SM4 ... Greg came in and started watching it too- so we just laughed and joked around about it. I know that there won't be many days i can be kinda lazy when i go to school- {and i usually am not lazy when i am home.. but i kinda was today...} I was indeed lost in thought about alot of things {like school and whatnots}. As we watched America Got Talent- i was picking on Kaytie.. and ended up finding a new ticklish spot... .. I think with me picking on her alot- she is getting a bit stronger {but not strong enough.. haha} So maybe i need to keep it up! hahahaha

My thumb is still tender from it being shut in the door- but it's not as swollen or doesn't hurt as much {i can bend it more- YEAHHHS}.. so it's all GOOD-NEWS! AND...... i am still breathing! {which is even better!}.. I had Greg gave a grad.card to Tiffany, {because when i looked for her after service, i couldn't find her}.. she was still at church, so i must've just not seen her.. Anyways- she loved the card! Just wish i could have given it to her in person, then we could've talked for a while! :D I think she is going to West-Coast College {or maybe to Macomb}.. either way, she will do greats! I am excited for her, because she is indeed going to use her flute as a ministry for God {and she is ever so good!} So thats an update on me and a little info on a friend! PEACE OUT!

2007-08-20T10:50:00.001-04:00

What a blessing it is to be alive! Yesterday at church, Pastor Bryan preached on giving to the Lord {your time} and having a fellowship with HIM. How God doesn't move around- but we are to move around {either closer to Him or further away from Him..}. When we draw closer to Him, He draws closer to us.. It's so very true. I can be as close to God as I want to and as fast as i want {not force to go one speed when it's too fast for me or whatnots}. What a blessing it is to be reminded about that.

Maria has some wonderful pictures on her Myspace account. She truly is growing up a bit now! Maturing alot since she had Rodman. {awwwws, what a cutie}. He is 1 now, and is growing up. I saw Jason's twin girls at church yesterday also!! They are about 4 now, and have grown up a whole lot. They didn't know that I was related to them somehow! haha. But they sure are cuties! {don't have a pic-sorry} But it was indeed very awesome to have seen them :D

Juan and I hanged out yesterday! We went to Wendy's and talked. We went over some poems and he re-wrote one for me {because i asked him to have it in his writing.. awws}. On the way back, we stopped off at Tim-Houtons and talked alot more! He is such a gentleman and is very kind! I am glad that we will be able to keep in touch when i go back to school. I will miss him ever so much if we couldn't keep in touch. Even when i hang out with Stephen- i don't talk as much as i do when i'm with Juan. It's kinda crazzie, but it's all good! Juan is very serious and very logical- but he has shown a crazzie side a few times! And for those that know me, knows that i love to be crazzie! After all- i did jump off a clift {which i would do again if i could..}

Only less than a week before i have to be at school- and it's crazzie to think that. Because it doesn't feel like it's been Aug for a while now {but it's been a few weeks.} Feels like i should still have one more month to go- but thats not true, because i only have less than one week to go. But i am very excited to go. I get to see Jolene and Deanna and Mary and many others that i know. I will end up seeing Ruthanna during Labor Day!! {will go over to her house for a meal or something, and figure out plan tickets for our vacation trip to Tx} I am very excited to be seeing Joy in Dec, and my baby niece {Reyna}.. {Joy- Mrs. Butler said she loves the name!!! and Congrats!}..I love sitting outside reading or doing HW. {in the pic- that is the Old Main.. which use to be a catholic school for boys. It is also what i clean at nights -the 1st lvl, student center and basement or aka Acad..} Soon, this is what i'll be seeing all the time!! CRAZZIE!!

Well- i found out why mom was upset the other day.. She had saw an ad on a car that she could afford and looks like it'll be a good one to invest in. So she showed dad and dad just threw it off to the side and went back to his computer. So she got mad because she felt as if he just doesn't care about her needs. {and we do need a better car}. so mom is upset because the money she had saved up- she has to use it to rent a car instead of investing a car. Which it would be better to buy a car rather than renting a car and having to start over with the saving! Dad just doesn't care, and he needs to get a life! Dad is finally starting to get mad at Kaytie- because she isn't doing anything around the house or even really trying to find a job. She is out of HS now, and will not be going to college this yr {bc she wants to save up for a yr}... But Kaytie really isn't doing anything around the house and expects everyone to pay for her with anything {like when we go out or something..} She has this Princess thing stuck in her head and thinks that everyone should do things for her {and she doesn't have to do anything back}. To tell you the truth- i really can't see Kt being a good mom someday! I know i will be a good mom someday {which is in 2 months ..... JK} -i don't want mom to get on my case about this, because i truly am not pregnant! kinda need to- ya know- with a guy, and i have not done that yet {i will when i am married! because that is something special for my hubby and for him alone!}

Well- thats that.. Love ya loads!! And keep on breathing!!!

2007-08-18T12:40:00.001-04:00

Lately, I've been lost in thought about Love and romantic. I know that Love isn't just something ya just say, "I love you", but it is also something ya do. To love is to be honest- and to not be scared to say anything. I have alot within me that i tend to keep inside, mainly because i am not sure how to tell someone those things.

Juan mentioned something about dad have been telling him things {like me dating Jasper}.. but I am not sure what else my dad has been saying. It's not like i am trying to keep anything from people- it just something i don't tell everybody. So for me to know that dad is telling Juan things about me- it hurts. And now i am wondering if dad ended up telling Juan about my darkest secret {which i will tell when the time is right}. I had told Jasper it at one time- and he just laughed at me and i ended up regretting telling him.

In the real-world, life is set on being romantic. It is nice to be romantic, but if the relationship is based on that, then it really isn't love. about 90% of the movies out there today is based on sex and whatnots. So when i watch a movie that ends up having this kind of stuff {like the Wedding Crashers or Pride&Prejudice or whatnots} it gets thoughts into my head that i don't want. It's like Satan is putting these thoughts into my head for a reason- but it is up to me to keep thinking about it or to let it go. So, i simply try to let it go and to keep it outta my head. But why does most of these movies have to deal with that kind of things? Its just stupid how thoughts come into my mind and go. Why can't I not think them and just be alright?

Now, I love the movie "Pride & Prejudice", mainly because they went through a hard time and ended up falling for each other. I think about what I want in a guy- and I know i want someone who i can trust and someone who can trust me. I need to be more open with whats on my mind with some people- but it is hard when i am not use to of it at all. I was always that girl who sat in the corner listening to people. I still have alot of growing to do- but now, i have grown alot since my Freshmen year of College.

Kaytie and I walked up to Stephen's place yesterday. As we were about a few houses from his house, we saw him hop into his car and was pulling out.. So i walked up to the street {seeing how there is one way out..haha} and just looked at him. He stopped and told us that he forgot that Kelly and him had planed on having dinner together- so we joined them. {Being that I had just gotten done eating with Juan, i wasn't hungry}. After picking Kelly up, we went to Coney Island. As we got there i had shut the door and Kelly had shut her door and my hand was stuck. So i simply asked Stephen if he would unlock the door-haha.. My thumb hurted alot, but i just kept it cool. {Even tho it was black where the door hit it... but it cleared away after 20 mins.. but it's sore} We ended up talking about school and family as we were there. After that we went to go see if putt-putt was full {which it was}, so we decided to go see whats playing at the movies {nothing we could agree on..} so we ended up going to the mall and walked around. We stopped off at the book store {and yes, i got a book..haha}.. and was in there for a long time. Mainly looking at Anime books and talking about that. Stephen wanted to see what was at Best Buy, so we stopped there and ended up looking at Disney Dvds and Animes---what nerds we have int he group. As were were walking around, Kelly seemed to be ever so quiet {not sure why, being how she was all talking during the meal...o-wells}

Today- I woked up and ended up watching Full House. Mom seemed to have something on her mind- but didn't wanna say {o-wells}.. In the end, she asked if i wanted to do something with her, i said yeah.. but she just sat there playing her games online {like Spider and whatnots}. She kept mentioning that she wants to do something but didn't know what.. I didn't know what either, because i kinda wasn't in the mood to do something {being that i just got up, my mind isn't working well}. By the time she was ready to go to bed, she seemed upset with me- mainly because i didn't get up and walked out the door {yet, she was just sitting there too}.. She knows that if she wants to go somewhere, i am willing to go too. Right now, i have everything i need for school {besides Nylons.. but i can get that laters}. I don't want to spend alot of money when i could use that money for school. I surely am not made of money! O-wells! I love my mom, just wish she could calm down. She thinks that Juan and I are pratically married already, yet i am dating other guys!! Not sure what is going on in her mind right now. Really, i guess i could care-less.. because I do care about Juan a whole lot- but Juan and I still need to get to know each other before we do anything major. Ya can't get to know someone very well within a few months.. it takes time. So Juan and I are taking our time and are just talking. So, i really don't know why mom is so against this- when i am going about this the right way. I am not jumping into this like i did with Jasper. It's just stupid! But WHATEVER!! She can think whatever she wants to.. she isn't there with me all the time, so she doesn't know if i am doing something or not. If she doesn't want to believe what i tell her, then that is up to her. {just like whatever i tell Juan or anyone else, it is up to them to believe me or not}..

Well- Peace Out! I just have alot on my mind and i still need to think things through. It is crazzie- because i am now really growing up and seeing things...logically. Just need to put it into action a bit too.