Friday, March 12, 2010

This year i have learned how to play Pinochle and I LOVE IT! I would play it all day long if i could. I don't care if i lose or win, i love playing. I also love playing Dominoes and could also play that all day long {pretty much did on NewYears... wow-6hours or so}. In the pic, you can see a bad hand that I had.. Matthew and I was winning, then we started losing and well- kept the losing part going on. But it was a great time with my friends.

It has FINALLY snowed here this week. We didn't get a whole lot, enough to shovel tho- but not like Texas. *haha*. It is indeed BEAUTIFUL here- looking at the snow covered mountians. Everything seems to be brighter now. :D I Love it! Yesterday, the kids and I shoveled for the 1st time since 2008 {i didn't shovel at all in 2009-yup.. spoiled}, it was so much fun and i was able to throw a few snowballs at the kids. I love how they "help" shovel the snow, the just throw the snow where'ver-even the pile of snow i just made.. haha. I can't wait to have kids of my own to do this with. :D I know for a fact that i am going to be having more kids- unless Christ comes before i do, or if i die.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be famous.. but at the same time i don't want to be famous at all. I enjoy being able to go places without people knowing who i am and without a million cameras fellowing me around--yet, at the same time i think it would be awesome to have people know who i was. Well.. i am glad that i am who i am, and i wouldn't change that for anything.

I love seeing couples together {like Jake and Vienna, Todd and Jody B....etc}. I learned alot about what True Love is... it's not just kissing and cuddling and whatnots... it's a relationship, enjoying the presence of each other, and the desire to stay with each other. Just like my love for God is a relationship, enjoying each other and the desire to stay. Kissing and hugging and holding hands and cuddling and whatnots are just bonuses in the relationship. Sex should be after marriage, not before. People who have sex before marriage are really not ready to be a parent, and some are put into that situation just bc they had sex before marriage {tho, some have been rapped}-- but those that have sex, willingly, are really not ready to be a mom/dad. I know i wasn't ready to be a mom- even tho i wanted to be a mom someday. I love being a mom now, even though i made the toughest dicision a parent could have made for their child.

Elijah is 11months old today. I miss him very much... but at the same time, i know what i did was whats best for him. I am very proud to tell people that i am A MOM of a handsome son, and i love showing him off. As i am working on a scrapbook, or working on my album for when i go over seas this summer, i often want to take some AMAZING pictures of my son.. like of his little feet and hands, him sleeping...etc.. I have learned so much about taking some amazing pics this past year.. i only wish that i had taken pictures of him myself when i had him... but i was enjoying him being in my arms that me taking pictures was the last thing on my mind. I am glad that my mom was there taking some pics.. may not be the best pics, but it's all i have of him. I love him so much! Much more now than i did when he was still in my tummy {and trust me, i fell in love with him as soon as i knew i was pregnant}.

How can people abort kids??? That is ever so sad and so mean. How can people be for abortion? Do they not have a heart? I can tell you 100% that their mom didn't abort them... what would've happen had their mom aborted them {like Oh Big "butt" Mistake Amercia!--i mean Obama!}. I am very glad that my mom didn't abort me! Aren't you glad that your mom didn't abort you??? I am totally against Obama... i can't see what good he is doing for America besides making us poorer and killing us. Yays!! more taxes, more wasting money on stupid things, more murder {abortion}! lets celebrate and worship Obama for saving us!! I THINK NOT!! ... just so you know,, i do pray for Obama {or so much}, but i am not for him. I am not against the fact that he is black, i am just against what he is doing and what he is for {abortion}. that is just a HUGE thing that i am against. another thing is health care--- PLEASE! lets pay people to kill their babies! I can't see how in the world people want someone like this to be their president {because clearly he won for a reason}. If the world just wanted a black to be president, then why not let someone who is against abortion be it?

Ok.. enough about politics.. i don't know what all is going on anyways.. off to bed i go.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

WOW! It is already March! 2 days till Elijah turns 11months. Crazzie how times fly by. Someone mentioned something about me being a mom- and i told them that i am A mom, but those these kid's mom. they looked at me very strangely and i told them that my son is living withhis adoptive parents and that i take care of these kids here. Jameson then came up to me at that time, making me leave the conversation hanging at that- so i wonder what went through their mind at that time! Some people think that it's rude of me to have given up Elijah, as others see it as me being very loving. What do you think? Personally, I know for a fact that what i did was what was best for him. I love him ever so dearly and am missing him ever so much. I take care of these kids and often wonder what crazzie things Elijah is going to do at these ages.

Delaney had a few hard days lately... she fell asleep in my apartment after she had taken her "rest". It was much needed her for. and of course- i had my camera handy, haha!

So.. I've watched The Bachelor.. I can honestly tell you that Stephen is just like Jake in so many ways- Good looking, sweet attitude, smart, caring, good values and did i say Good looking?? Anyways, I had liked Vienna, Ali, Ella, Gia and Tenley from day 1. Was very sad Ella left early. Got confused about Ali because she was being so rude to Vienna- but something about her stuck. Vienna was very sweet and totally herself from day 1 {i can just tell, so don't ask}. Final 3 girls were on my top 5... Gia, Tenley and Vienna. {Sweetness!} People in the world is ever so rude to people and love to bring someone down.. so sad indeed! I am happy for Vienna and Jake- i can see some of me in Vienna... mainly- she has grown from a HUGE mistake in her own life, and i have grown from a HUGE mistake in my own life. I surely would love to be friends with Vienna and Jake.
Stephen and I are still going strong! He has brought so many smiles to my heart. My top fav. thing to do with him is read something from the Bible.. we can't do it every night, but when we do- I love it! I keep getting asked when we are going to be getting married- honestly, not anytime soon. We are taking things slowly and just enjoying each other as the time goes by. He will meet my family and i will meet his mom before we do plan out our wedding. Meeting his sister will be awesome.. she sounds like she is alot like my cousin Maria. I will be seeing Stephen this summer for a day or two {wish it would be longer than that} and i am looking forward to that. Get to explore a new town together!
I LOVE working here in Alaska! It's been ever so beautiful here this winter. I think Texas has gotten more snow than we have {even with the snow we have gotten today}.. Crazzie! Here Jameson and I was at the park while family was ice-skating. So amazing to see how much they have grown up within the {almost} 2yrs i've been here. I can honestly say that i am going to miss this family once i stop working for them. They feel more like my own family more than my boss.

A friend and I are planning on a mission's trip this summer. Things are working out so far.. and i have this HUGE feeling that this is where the Lord wants me to go this summer. {not just a feeling, but a strong desire}... I know that it's not Satan, because Satan will not give me a desire to do something right or to plant seeds in people's hearts/lives. I am excited about it and don't have any worries about it. Mom is worried that something will happen, and so is Stephen. If i was to die, then i would be dying doing the right thing- praising my Father! All the Glory goes to Him and HIM ALONE!

He is always reminding me that He is here with me and loves me. He wants whats best for me- just like i want whats best for Elijah. So, for those who think that i have not changed- think again! I keep thinking about how to better my relationship with Him! Best way is to continue reading His Love notes- for He had written those just for me... "I once was lost, but now i am found!" How can i not want to fellow the ONE who has found me!
I am glad that i am not famous or have millions of people wanting to watch my every move. I am free to go to the store, or hang out with my friends without anyone bothering me. I love being me! There isn't anyone in the world i want to be.. not even the "sexiest" woman--- i am glad that i am sexy in my own personal way. But, you have to get to know me 1st in order to see it.. *grins* - I have a great life.... all because I have my Savior with me... without Him I'd be lost and life wouldn't be worth living!