Life!

What is life? I got thinking about this one day as I was working and the "Flint guys" was talking about partying and drinking. So many people are missing out on the real Life because they think if they spend their life enjoying themselves, then there wouldn't have to be any worries once they are dead. How do we live this life? Do we live it like we want to, or as if it was the last day we have? Too many people are blinded, and alot of them could care-less. Too many people think that hell is going to be like a big party with many friends- but that isn't the case at all. I can't see why people would want to go out partying, getting drunk and having sex. Why is it fun to get pulled over {by Police} for drinking, to have hangovers, to have a baby?? I see no pleasure in any of that.

So, what is life? Life is Christ. It's amazing to hear all these true stories of what happened back before any of us was even thought about. Sometimes I wish I had the power to go back in time, to see what life was like back then.. But then again, I am glad that I can't do that- because there is a reason why I wasn't born back then. {because I might've not known Christ like I know Him now. even tho it's not much- it is more than not knowing Him at all.}



Life is like being chained up- about to be sold to be a slave. We are all slaves to sin. We sin, and because we are living in sin- we don't think nothing is wrong with it. Then, one day- someone came and brought you and set you free. Free of sin, Free to do anything gloriflying to Him. How did He came and brought us? Well, by dyeing on a cross and rising from the dead. I mean, how many people you know die and is dead for a few days then come back to life on their own? No-one... {sure there are people who have died and come back alive- but with help}. So, now we have the choice to be free-slaves and follow Him, or just stay slaves to sin. The choice is up to you! But what a blessing it is to be free! I don't have to sin anymore to be happy, I can be happy by serving Him. I choose to serve Him, I am not forced to serve Him. It's just mega awesome to know that He is forgiving- no matter how much I still sin!!

Ever looked at something this beautiful and just think about how great God is? It's always amazing how the weather changes, and how beautiful each season looks like. From Winter to Spring to Summer to Fall. It's great just knowing that God cares about each little thing. To us, we would just love to have it be Summer all the time. But we need it to rain, to have the Sunshine, to have the snow, etc. Trees look wonderful with their different colors during the Fall, but if it was never Winter, then the trees wouldn't need to be colorful, or need to grow new leaves for next year. God painted each leaf, and each Sunrise- Sunset. Each cloud is different, and each wave is different too. It's very easy to forget how much God loves you, {or well, to know how little He love you, becuase we can never know for sure how much He really loves us, we can only see a little bit of that great love.} and just too easy to start thinking that He has forgotten you. But that's not the case at all. If anyone is forgetting, it is us. It's too easy for us to forget Him and to go on with life without thinking about Him. But we need Him, to grow- to love- to care, etc. He never left us hanging- He's been there by our side the whole time.

I have a hard time forgiving myself for many things. But I know that He forgives me everytime, even though i don't deserve it. I really don't deserve anything that i do have, a job- a family- a home- a life- a breathe- a friend. But i have all of that, and much more. I have a way to go to Heaven- a God who loves me- a Savior who died for my sins- a Bible to read to learn about God, etc.

I heard this song, and thought it was way too funnie. Because we all have a nerd side in us all -even if we don't look like a nerd. But, I can't help it if i am just too White and Nerdy!! jk.

White N Nerdy!!

You see me mowin' my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I wanna roll with the gangstas
But so far they all think I'm too
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Really, really white and nerdy

First in my class here at MIT
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
M.C. Escher, that's my favorite
M.C.Keep you're 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking's in my library

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you've see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze

There's no killer app I haven't run (run)
At Pascal, well I'm number one (one)
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (what?)
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon

Here's the part I sing on...

You see me roll on my Segway
I know in my heart they think I'm
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I'd like to roll with the gangstas
Although it's apparent I'm too
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
How'd I get so white and nerdy

I been browsin', inspectin' X-Men comics
You know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L

I got a business doing websites (websites)
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for 'em all
Even made a homepage for my dog, yo
I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin' a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a role of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky
I'm nerdy in the extreme
Whiter than sour cream
I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
Got my name on my underwear

They see me strollin', they're laughin'
And rollin' their eyes cause I'm so
White and nerdy

Just because I'm white and nerdy
Just because I'm white and nerdy
All because I'm white and nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white and nerdy

I wanna bowl with the gangstas
But oh well, it's obvious I'm
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

Do you ever want to just quit something? Quit smoking, drinking, being friends, being you, etc. I am sure we all want to quit something or another. Some are for the better, and some are not. I often want to just quit being a Christian. Why? Because I am starting to see that only the best will survive. I am not one of those best. I never could. But when I think about it, I could never really fully quit being a Christian, because there are so many things that I WILL NOT do. Such things as, smoking, drinking, drugs, sex before marriage, etc. And because I will not do those things, i could never "fit in" with the world. I don't really "fit in" with the Christian life either, because I grew up in a public school, was a bus kid, and didn't go up in a 100% Christian home. Only those kind of people can "fit in". They have to be smart and get A's and B's on anything and everything. The other day, when I was giving an advice to someone with Bible verses, they told me that I was smart. Well, that is one of us that believes that. I don't get A's and B's on anythign and everything, and I don't know the Bible like alot of these "Christian" people do.

What does it take to become a Christian? Well, to believe in Christ Jesus as your Savior and knowing that He is the ONLY way to Heaven. I am sure alot of these "Christian" people have forgotten that. They think they have to know the Bible inside-out, and have to do this or that. Needing to pray in front of this or that person, having to read the Bible outside and not inside. But a True Christian should just trust Christ, and go day by day having faith in Him. Reading the Bible and praying inside where noone can see ya. It's good to be nice to others and help them, but that isn't the way to Heaven. When you do help someone, it helps you feel better about yourself, like you can just keep going on. That is why I love working with kids, because they don't care what you look like- as long as you are spending time with them, and playing with them, they love you. Now why can't "Christians" be like that too? Love ya for who you are, and not what you look like!!?!!

Now, don't worry. I am not going to quit, I have no real reasoning to. I just feel like it at times, and wonder where I belong in life. I grew up around "Christians" and "Non-Christians". The saddest thing I've learn, is that the Non-Christians were there for me when I needed someone. They don't have to know the Bible, or anything to be able to help me. In fact, I had talked to one of my best friends a few weeks ago, and the way he was talking made it sound like he knew where I was coming from. We are all humans! It amazed me of how much smarter my friend was then the "Christians" at my church. I know way to many stories of how the "Christian teens, kids" go behind their parent's back to listen to this or that, to watch this, or to be there instead of here. But yet, they all look down on those who don't have to go behind their parent's back. In fact, it is much harder to get out of listening to this music or that, when we don't have to go behind our parent's back. It is much harder to learn things of the Lord when we don't go to a "Christian" school. I go to a "Christian" college, but noone helps me. Everything is brand-new to me, and to learn it is great, just it takes time to have it stick to my head. 99% of the kids already know these things, so they get A's and B's, and people love them. But those who try very hard, noone cares.

1st yr, I was more into making friends, then into my "bf". 2nd yr, I was more into studying and having fun. 3rd yr, I sat out so I can save up to go back. 4th yr, I will be more into studying than fun. Sure I'll have fun, but not as much. I want to be smart, but it is hard when the teacher expect me to have already known this or that. O-wells, just gotta do the best I can right? So-What if my gpa isn't high, So-What if I am not a smart in books. I am very smart in other ways, and I am sure that I have more common-sence than alot of peoplez!

Have you ever wished you could live in someone else's life for a day or two? I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be someone else at times. I know way to many people who have great things going for them, and things are going great for them now. Their parents are rich, and they are very smart, but there is something that they don't have that they want to have, and that is a good attitude toward things. Taking things for granted, and not realizing how much they need something until its gone. It's amazing to find out that so many people are wishing they were someone else. But, the best thing in life is to be yourself.


In this day in life, people care about looks. People think that life is all about looking good, feeling good. What is beauty? To me, Beauty is what's inside. But being that i am not skinny like a "real person", or tall like "normal people", i guess it would be easy for me to say such a thing. But the truth is that. Beauty is whats inside, just people can only see whats outside and not whats inside. But God sees me inside, and made me beautiful in His eyes. Now, that is a blessing, because I am special to my Savior.

Aug 8,2002

Oh-I wish
I was a star in the sky
A bird flying high
The sun that shines
The twinkle in your eyes

Oh-I wish
You could see me now
That i can go all over
To see other countries
See the rainbow's end

Oh-I wish
The sky was green
The moon ws purple
The grass was orange
And the trees weren't brown

But what I wish
Can not come true
For I have the best wish
That has came true
To have a special friend

And God sent me you!!!

-2Craz

What a blessing it is to know that we are not alone. We have each other, and we have God with us. There is a rainbow in each of us, just it might take someone a very long time to see it. I often wonder what it would be like to be beautiful and have guys falling for me. But the more I think about it, I am very beautiful, just the guys don't see my rainbow yet.

Are you yourself?


What a blessing it is to be myself. I mean, noone else can be me at all...not even for a day. My sister had cut my hair, and now look at this smashing looking girl!!

Anyways, we are all always looking at other people wishing we were them. I know this, because I am like that alot. But, did you know that people may look nifty but not be nifty at all?. well, it's true. But what is so nifty is that you know yourself better than your best friend does. I mean, your best friend may know you very well, but they don't know ya thoughts. Boy does one person think a whole lot. It's like we are always thinking about this or that. I am sure you are thinking, "what a crazzie person this is," but to tell you the truth, I am crazzie.

Cousins are so much fun. This is Ken III, who is my 2nd cousin. {Cousin's kid}. He is such a cutie, and can be very shy. But once ya play with him, he is one hyper little kid. But all kids are alot of fun to be around. I do miss working with kids.


But for now, i am just enjoying working with some crazzie people. Joe, the guy in the pic, is someone who is on fire for God, but acts like a little kid alot. We tease each other, telling one another to get back to work {even tho we are working}. This is Him waiting for his michine to be fix. I think he broke it just to have some fun, jk. When one is working with guys all day long, one tends to get to know them pretty well. Sometimes one doesn't want to know something, but ends up knowing it anyways. O-wells, guys will be guys I Guess.


But, the blessing is that I found someone who will be willing to pick on me back. It is great. My mom also works in a factory and is able to tease people. So she tells me what she does, and i pick them up. Harry, {The guy in red}, is a HiLo driver {well, he does just about anything the bosses tell him, but lately he's been driving the Hilo}. He picks on me and knows that he'll get it back. It is great. He is cute for an old guy. He is married with 3 kids. His eldest kid is 19. Pretty cool I think.