Do you ever want to just quit something? Quit smoking, drinking, being friends, being you, etc. I am sure we all want to quit something or another. Some are for the better, and some are not. I often want to just quit being a Christian. Why? Because I am starting to see that only the best will survive. I am not one of those best. I never could. But when I think about it, I could never really fully quit being a Christian, because there are so many things that I WILL NOT do. Such things as, smoking, drinking, drugs, sex before marriage, etc. And because I will not do those things, i could never "fit in" with the world. I don't really "fit in" with the Christian life either, because I grew up in a public school, was a bus kid, and didn't go up in a 100% Christian home. Only those kind of people can "fit in". They have to be smart and get A's and B's on anything and everything. The other day, when I was giving an advice to someone with Bible verses, they told me that I was smart. Well, that is one of us that believes that. I don't get A's and B's on anythign and everything, and I don't know the Bible like alot of these "Christian" people do.

What does it take to become a Christian? Well, to believe in Christ Jesus as your Savior and knowing that He is the ONLY way to Heaven. I am sure alot of these "Christian" people have forgotten that. They think they have to know the Bible inside-out, and have to do this or that. Needing to pray in front of this or that person, having to read the Bible outside and not inside. But a True Christian should just trust Christ, and go day by day having faith in Him. Reading the Bible and praying inside where noone can see ya. It's good to be nice to others and help them, but that isn't the way to Heaven. When you do help someone, it helps you feel better about yourself, like you can just keep going on. That is why I love working with kids, because they don't care what you look like- as long as you are spending time with them, and playing with them, they love you. Now why can't "Christians" be like that too? Love ya for who you are, and not what you look like!!?!!

Now, don't worry. I am not going to quit, I have no real reasoning to. I just feel like it at times, and wonder where I belong in life. I grew up around "Christians" and "Non-Christians". The saddest thing I've learn, is that the Non-Christians were there for me when I needed someone. They don't have to know the Bible, or anything to be able to help me. In fact, I had talked to one of my best friends a few weeks ago, and the way he was talking made it sound like he knew where I was coming from. We are all humans! It amazed me of how much smarter my friend was then the "Christians" at my church. I know way to many stories of how the "Christian teens, kids" go behind their parent's back to listen to this or that, to watch this, or to be there instead of here. But yet, they all look down on those who don't have to go behind their parent's back. In fact, it is much harder to get out of listening to this music or that, when we don't have to go behind our parent's back. It is much harder to learn things of the Lord when we don't go to a "Christian" school. I go to a "Christian" college, but noone helps me. Everything is brand-new to me, and to learn it is great, just it takes time to have it stick to my head. 99% of the kids already know these things, so they get A's and B's, and people love them. But those who try very hard, noone cares.

1st yr, I was more into making friends, then into my "bf". 2nd yr, I was more into studying and having fun. 3rd yr, I sat out so I can save up to go back. 4th yr, I will be more into studying than fun. Sure I'll have fun, but not as much. I want to be smart, but it is hard when the teacher expect me to have already known this or that. O-wells, just gotta do the best I can right? So-What if my gpa isn't high, So-What if I am not a smart in books. I am very smart in other ways, and I am sure that I have more common-sence than alot of peoplez!