Sunday, May 17, 2009

I am indeed loving the time i have with these kids. They seem like they are my own alot- being that i am ALWAYS with them. I just know that i will be this crazzie taking pictures of my own kids like i am with these two. I am playing around with different settings to change the pictures a bit, and am enjoying that. I am blessed with my friend Alicia- she got me into doing some crazzie pics- like shooting at a different angle or something. I remember sitting in class a few times and she would lean over {before class starts} and show me pictures she has taken over a few days with her phone. And now that my phone sends bigger pictures {rather than tiny pics that makes ya wish they were bigger}, i am able to take more pics with my phone. just sometimes sending them to my FB takes forever, and sometimes need to be resend a few times before it sends. o-wells!! :D

I am doing a whole lot more things with the kids now {being that i am no longer pregnant and do have more energy-YAYS!} I felt bad during those last few weeks of being pregnant- i was getting mega tired so fast.. makes me wonder how some ladies are able to take care of so many kids and be preg. at the same time... Congrats if you can keep up with the kids and be preg. :D Tho, the parents here were very impressed that i worked till that Friday and had the baby on Sat... i even wrapped up some birthday gifts as i was having contractions every 4-5mins. WOW-- if you ever need strength, try doing that yourself!! :D I've been taking the kids to the park a few times, and going for walks to the bridge {which is just down the street, down the hill, and over a little bit}.. The kids love it, and enjoys throwing the little rocks on the bridge into the water. I love how they have the extra railing- keeps the cars from hitting us!! YAYS!!

We even have been creative with games.. like this one time on the way back from the bridge, Delaney was complaining about how tired she was of walking. So i asked her, "what can fit into my pocket?" She was confused.. "can a car fit into my pocket?" "No... but Jameson's toy cars can!!"... etc.... She totally forgot that she was tired of walking.. When we are inside, she imagination gets to her at times.. like it's raining and we need to get under the umbrella... or the Lions are after us and we need to find food for them before they eat us. there are a few shows she really likes {Like Cillou} that she just has to watch.

I even let Delaney paint my nails.. for a 4 year old, she is very good. I am not very girly, but painting my nails are ok... just i don't have to have them painted. {I don't even wear makeup-- shocker ah??}. Well, Delaney loves to dress up, do my hair up, paint my nails, dance, or put on makeup {but i let her put makeup on when her mom is home-when i am off work}. If i told you that these kids are very good- you may not believe me.. but they are. My mom was very impressed at how well behaved they were. We went to meet up with Charity and Kevin one time {when Kevin got here} and the kids were very well behaved in front of them... i think they both were excited about seeing Elijah. Jameson kept saying "baby" as he pointed to Elijah... But with Jameson- you show him a picture of himself and he'll say "baby" and point to himself. Very cute indeed. Jameson is SLOWLY... ever so SLOWLY.... saying more words. He surely is taking after me in that area {and he isnt even my kid..} It tooken me a while before i talked... i figured- why talk when people can tell what you want when you point to something, or when you grab them, or when you just try to find a way to get it yourself..

So I am done working on the scrapbook that i am doing of Elijah.. when Kevin and Charity send me pictures of Elijah over the years, i'll have a place to scrapbook them. I will make copies and put it into the journal i am doing, as well as sending them to Juan. I only did a few pages already, and even included a few poems i had written. I went to a fundraiser at the Birth Center one weekend, and was able to show off my scrapbook.. i met this other girl who is 22 years old and has a 7 month old boy {a cutie}.. Her mom was there too and after hearing the story of Elijah said that her lil sister was adopted. It was cool hearing a bit of her side of the story. The other day i had a wonderful dream about Elijah being 4 years old. went to a get together, and i was married with 2 kids of my own- and i was off playing with all the kids and loving the moments i had with Elijah. in my dream, it was as if i was Stephen.. it was very strange- yet felt so real.

I went to Eagle Beach yesterday. I went on my own.. got the directions from Daron and off i was. I ended up missing the turn to the parking area- so when i got to the end of the road {yes, the road stops--no more road} i knew i missed it.. so i turned around and ended up parking at a random spot where i saw a beach area {parked just off the free-way or the road..whatever you wanna call it}. I sat near the water, and enjoyed the sun, the eagles, the dophins, the birds, and wrote in my journal. It was very peaceful. A guy with a dog was out a ways- guess him and his fam was camping out there {had a tent and all}.. but noone else was in site.. mega awesome!! :D When i drove past Auke-Bay.. there were TONS of cars there.. Haha people.. i had my own beach for the day!!

Well- thats that for now!! :D My life right now is mainly around these kids {and maybe babysitting another kid--YAYS!!}, reading books {and the Bible}, and talking to Stephen whenever i can. I haven't been able to hang out with the college kids- guess they don't like hanging out with kids much. Kjerstin comes hangs out once in a blue moon {but she leaves for school in Aug.. :(.. owells}. Delaney loves Kjerstin, she mainly hangs all over her when she is here {which is very strange, because Delaney loves to be shy around new people and around my friends}

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tonight i am going to Avery and Rachelle's place for the Bible Study. Maybe over the summer i can get to know them a bit more- and we can really be freinds. {pic is when i started going to the Basketball-gathering.} Avery is gonna cook up some hamburgers-- sweetness! Yays for earlier Bible Study... which means- i can get a bit more sleep for when i have to get up tomorrow.. YAYS FOR SLEEP!! {by the way, i am enjoying sleeping on my stomach again... oh how i missed it so}

Well, i plan on seeing how the Woman's SS class is like, and see if that is where i want to go each week. I do like the College class SS- but i feel kinda alone in there. I dunnos, i'll just see where the Lord wants me to be. I've always been able to really get along with those who could be my parents, and those i could be a parent to.

Someday i shall get myself a very good camera and take awesome pictures.. I am indeed excited about using Stephen's camera when i go see him soon. He told me that i could use it, so i for surely will.. :D told him that his camera might end up being packed away in my suitcase.. lol..

So yesterday i took the kids to the park at Sandy-Beach... met up with Shayna and her son Reed.. Shayna told me that Reed was all talking about me and asking when he was going to see Dayna.. then when he saw me, he got all shy. haha. But as he was leaving, he came and gave me a hug. YAYS!! He sure is a cutie. Shayna and I talked for a little bit {in between running after a kid or two}. she told me that she suggested me to this other lady at the BC about babysitting her kid... and i told Shayna that i am on board with that.. yays for babysitting other kids {new faces, and new pics..yays.. --tho, my face is always great to look at, as well as the kids i watch..}.

OH.. my blinds came in yesterday. Daron hooked it up today.. turned out its the wrong blinds... but at least it's a little {like 20%} better than without it. They had ordered the black-out blinds, but gotten a normal double blinds {hence 20%}.
My Little Elijah is a month old now.. WOW!! how time flies by. Seems like the other day i just given birth to him, and feeling the most strangest feeling in the WORLD {which is his head sticking out and moving before his body came out of my womb}. For Mother's Day, a few people asked if i cried... honestly, i didn't.. It hasn't really hit me that i am indeed a mom.. Yes i gave birth to Elijah, but i am not with him all the time nor am raising the handsom guy.. So it doesn't feel like i am a mom..but i am 100% a mom now. It feels to me that givin birth was only a dream- tho i know for a fact that it wasn't a dream {maybe a dream come true!}. I guess it'll hit me that i am a mom when i have my other kids. I did get a flower for Mother's Day, and a massage.. as well as a 'tea party' with the fam and a free meal {steak- and yummy patatoes}.. Yays!

Friday, May 08, 2009

A Mother's Love

A mother's love for her dear child shall enver end but grow stronger.

A mother's love for her young is tough because she is willing to let them go.

She will always love her child as each day passes on by.

She will never forget the day her precious young one was born.

Because she loves them so much and charished each moment.

Because each moment with her dear chid is only a blessing from God

Noone can ever take her love away nor say she doesn't love her child.

Noone could take her memories from her because they are dear to her forever.

A mother's love can endure so much and never be lost.

And a mother's love for her child will continue to grow forever and ever.

-Dayna M. Hlatky


I do love taking pictures.. Someday i shall get an awesome camera- much like the one Stephen has {which is WAY better than my digital camera...which is in TX now.. i think i lost it forever} It's all good- I am sure it has cat-hair in it by now.

I am ever Soooooo Happy now.. So I went to go help out at the last Awana program at church yesterday.. i got upstairs and the family was eating dinner. Jameson was like "WOW" as i came up.. and Jenice asked "Who's that?".. and Jameson said "Dayna".. YAYS!! 1st time he said my name.. He is finally starting to say more words.. yays!

So, giving birth about 3 1/2 weeks ago, I've lost 20lbs within the first 2 weeks..and have maintained it so far. Yays! I am planning on doing Tia-Boa soon... so maybe that'll help with my stomach issue--looks all nasty and even worst with the stretch marks. But each of those stretch marks was made with love and care. I do not regret any of them..just will not show anyone but my hubby {when i am married of course}.

So we had a week of SUNSHINE!! It was great.. i took the kids to the park alot, and we went for a walk to the bridge. We saw ducks there in the water.. and the kids enjoyed throwing rocks into the water. I just love the view- for surely when the sun is rising over there!! I'd take all the snow and rain for this view everyday.

Alaska is indeed an awesome place to live!! A frieng of mine saw Whales about 30feet from the boat as she was working {she works on the ferries here}.. The parents here are planning on buying a boat someday- they keep saying that they want to buy a yatch {sp} someday and go out on it over a weekend and bring me along.. And they even mentioned a few times about taking a vacation out to Scotland bc they know that i want to go there..and because they had their honeymoon there. Would be MEGA awesome if we did go.

So... i don't ever feed the kids food-- why? because they are too busy eating their socks... jk.. The joy of working with kids is that they do the silliest things..and when you can get it on camera, it makes for a great blackmail later in life... {like their gf or bf comes over, it's the best time to show them pics of your kid as a youngan.. haha}.

But then-again.. i am pretty crazzie too.. I enjoy playing around with the kids or just being silly. Today Delaney and I were sumersaulting and cart-wheeling in my apt. tons of fun... tho i wanted to throw the dog outside- being that she was excited about us playing around. Crazzie dog.. Heidi {dog} sure does love me, and is always trying to hang out in my apt. sometimes i don't even know she is sleeping on my couch until Daron comes in to get her. LOL.

Here's a pic of me wheni 1st started working here with Lil Jameson... This was just before i found out i was pregnant. WOW- time surely does fly. Jameson was just learning to crawl around everwhere... now he is walking all over the place and even climbing on things and testing his boundaries.. {like running to the street}.. Delaney just cries about this or that and says "i can't do it".. she is also getting into the "Why?" "Whats that?" stage. She is even asking some lame questions like "What is a dog?".. "umm.. what is Heidi??".. "a dog!".. "Well, there you go.." haha. Gotta love kids! thats all i can say..

So last weekend we went to the beach, and poor Jameson fell into the water.. He stopped crying once we got into the van and the dvd was playing. Crazzie cute kid! Before he fell- we saw dophins in the water. You don't get to see dophins in Det. besides at Sea-world. It was very awesome to watch them bob their heads up and down in the water.

So.. today after work, i went to the beach. There was a bon-fire going on with the college kids. As much as i "hang out" with them, i still feel left out. the only person i really got along with in the college class was Hans.... and he ended up leaving on a sad note. I also felt a connection with Charity when we 1st met.. but under the circumstances- i understand why she doesn't want to be friends. I guess because Colleen is good friends with Charity- that we haven't gotten close or hanged out outside of church. So i guess the next person i am closest to here would have to be Kjerstin.. and she is leaving for NY in Aug.. O-wells.. I'll always have the kids around and God and a blog and Stephen {to text with} and Scrapbooking and facebok and books each day. Gotta love life!!

Well... thats life today!! Maybe tomorrow will be something new-- maybe me being married with 3 kids and an awesome job with me doing scrapbooks for famous people {like Celine Dion--- which would be MEGA MEGA awesome if i could do her scrapbook for her.} Yeah- im a dork for 'liking' Celine {so what i know most of her songs!! haha} .

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Yays for computer fun.. i took a few of my pictures i had on my computer and edited them... This will be great for scrapbooking- YAYS!!

My dearest Grandpa Scott. Kevin and Charity let me be able to give Elijah his middle name.. so i gave him Robert. My grandpa was a very godly man who was after God's own heart.

These pics were of him on his Wedding day- what a Handsome fellow he was. I never saw him with hair on top before- so he looks mega young to me. *grins*

Now- i look alot like my grandma.. but i am keeping off the wieght... i honestly don't want to be huge again {besides if i am pregnant- then it's not my faught}

Of course i did one up of Elijah.. Am going to do more of his, for i am making a scrapbook for myself of him... All the pictures i recieve as he is growing up will go into that along with the journal i am doing.
I just love being creative. After Nanny school, i am going to try to do some scrapbooks up for people around here.. They can just buy a book that they want me to do it in, and give me pictures that they want scrapbooked- and BAM!! they have a custom made- scrapbook. I never do anything the same- {besides the invites i made for my 1st b-day party ever...which was my 23rd}. For now, i am enjoying doing this scrapbook that i recently started {the one of Elijah}.
I've realized that giving up your 1st born is indeed the hardest thing ever, but what a joy it is to know that your 1st born is getting everything you can't give them. Well- for me its like that. It was indeed alot more easier for me to give Elijah over to this family {1. i know He will hear the Word of God.. and 2. i know the family is very caring}. God worked everything out and it's just amazing. Anyways- i also realized that the other side of Adoption can be hard too.. they have to do all the paper work, have people come over and watch them or whatnots, and then have to wait till a birthmother says that they want them to be the parent... Then have to wait to see if they don't change their minds at the last min... that must be pretty hard to endure. I am indeed pretty interested in hearing more about that side of adoption {tho, i am pretty sure i won't have to go through it}
I did try to let Charity and Kevin know that i will not change my mind, and that the birthdad was on board too... but i think in the end- when they were here, they were very scared... because i had 10 days to change my mind after signing my rights over... and they knew i loved Elijah alot {they could at least see it in my eyes when i looked at him}... and i think that is why they tried to stay away from me as much as possible! well, for surely the 1st week... boy that was a killer for me... giving birth to him and not see him till a week later... then to find out that my friends saw him over the week... I missed out on seeing their reactions {kinda like they wanted to take that joy away from me}.-- but thats done and over with.. I can't change anything that has happened when he was here... I am indeed ever so glad for the time i did have with him.. To be honest- my emotional side of things is getting better. Im sleeping more {on my stomach--YAYS!!}... well... eating has slowed down alot {enough that i can easily go a few days without eating before i get hungry enough to eat a smal meal}.. and its been over a week since i really cried {well, besides last night when i was remembering things--such as my friends seeing him}.. but it's all good. Maybe later on in life Charity and Kevin would like to be friends {but that might be after Elijah comes find me when he is older}
well.. thats whats been going on with me this week- besides working with the 2 kids...BOY O BOY.. Crazzie 2s and INSANE 4s... AHHHHHHHHHHH.. what can i say- Gotta love kids!! :D Well, i do love kids, and will have more kids after i get married someday... in a few years Lord Willing! *grins*

Monday, May 04, 2009

To be honest- I am very heartbroken... I lost a dear friend {no he isn't dead- he just doesn't want to be friends anymore}. He told me that it was nothing i said or done, just that he changed alot of things and want to have a clean start in life. I can understand- but still hurts to lose a good friend. He was one of the few friends i felt very comfortable to talk about things- but i guess me being so open had scared him. He did told me one time that i was the only girl he has ever known to have been so open with him and that he felt like he wasn't much of a friend for not being so open with me. But what he didn't understand was that i just needed someone who was willing to listen. Yes i know that God is listening to me daily and does answer my prayers... i just also wanted a human being to talk to also. I know for a fact that freinds come and friends go- its just sad to let a good friend go. I shall miss talking with Eric, he had helped me see how much more encouraging it is to not only listen and read the Bible-but to tell someone what you got out of it at times. Not only is it encouraging to the one who is listening to you tell them, but it is encouraging to you.. and even more encouraging when they tell you something in return.

I am also heartbroken over another friend of mine..Hans. For the past month or so he stopped going to church, and then soon stopped talking to those who did went to church. I remember him telling me that he felt out of place there because the other college kids knew each other very well... So we would hang out together-but he soon stopped that. I guess i wasn't much of a friend to him in the end, i should've gone over to his room and ask him what was up.. but i didn't. He came to the Bible Study on Thursday last week {after hearing that i had went the week before}. He admitted that he was running from God and was missing home. So now i just pray that God would really work in his heart and convict him of different areas that would need to be changed so that he could have that speical walk with HIM. May he never forget the One who loved him 1st. Hans went home the next day- so i didn't have a chance to hang out with him and talk. I shall miss our lil chats in the car as we're going to Awanas, or the times we would hang out with peoplez.

Well... in the meantime- i am fallin in love with a great guy. I have been falling for him for a while now, and know that he is the one i want to be with. When i met him in person during Christmas time, i felt at peace about it all. Honestly, i haven't felt that peaceful around a guy. Now, i am ever so open with him and love being able to talk to him. I enjoy hearing stories of when he was in the Navy or some silly story that happened. Mainly, i love being able to read a few chapters in the Bible together. I miss hearing from him from time to time because he is very busy with class and work. But when we do talk, its like the stars sparkle more and a rainbow floats behind them. Stephen is so open with me, and i enjoy it loads. I am not just doing all the talking, and neither is he. Living in 2 different states sure is helping us get closer, because we are talking alot and not just focused on kissing or cuddling- tho that would be nice {i sure do love to cuddle}. I am indeed excited about seeing him again soon.

I do often think about Elijah {pic- thats him about 5 hours old}.. but i know that he is going to grow up being very happy. It's just amazing how the Lord worked everything out-- with my I found the right family, and how Medicad ended up working {etc...}... and with their they met me, and how people gave them all the items they would need for a new baby in the family {etc...}.
I had just recently started going to the church when i met them at the conference. Charity told me that she didn't want to come to AK during that time- but they couldn't afford to cancel the ticket. She didn't understand why she was even here until that Sunday morning after she talked with a friend of mine {whom she is very good friends with} telling her that they were wanting to adopt. Of course my friend knew i was looking for a Christian-God fearing family for my baby {who was only 3 months old at the time and was only a few days before i found out if i was having a boy or a girl.... which of course was a boy}. That is just part of this whole adoption that God was imvolved in.
If i could've, i would've kept him. In fact, when i had found out that i was pregnant- i was very determined to keep matter what the cost would be. I would've sold everything i had, live in the streets if i had to in order to support him.. But God didn't want that.. I am able to keep my job here, and able to start fresh with my life. I am keeping myself pure from here on out untill i am married. I do miss having Elijah in my stomach, and even in my arms. I charished each moment i had with him, and only wished i could've spent more time with him as he was still in AK. I think Charity was very scared that i would change my mind about signing the consent forms-- but that wasn't likely at all. Seeing how God was in this and how everything went about- i couldn't change my mind. I love him loads, and am very blessed that i gave him his middle name {gave him a part of me for the rest of his life}. I will scrapbook all the pictures i get- and only wish it was alot of pics {but i am not convinced that there will be alot of pics, being that they told me that they barely take pics of their kids now}. But a few pics is better than none- so i am ever so grateful.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Elijah... born April 11th at 10:18pm in Juneau AK. 7lb 2oz and 20in. Handsome lil guy and very much loved and missed. He already spent a whole week with his new fam in GA..

Midwives told me that i pushed for 3 mins.. about 5-10mins after i had Elijah, mom came walking in. I had to have 30 stitches from a tear i had, and ended up telling jokes as the Dr. was stitching me up {i didn't take any drugs at all.. was just in a good mood-- after all, i just had the cutest and most dearest kid ever}.

I got to spend his 1st Easter with him, and surely enjoyed holding him in my arms the whole day. He has Juan's mouth, and nose and maybe tall genes.. He has my round face, eyes {maybe}, and hair. not sure about his ears.. He has strong lungs when he cries- he doesn't like having the cool air hit his skin-or his feet not being covered. But he surely is a good baby- doesn't cry much.. just drinks alot of milk and sleeps and poops. adoptive parents were amazed at that and even commented on it a few times.

I love Elijah and miss him.. i just want to hold him now and raise him up. I never wanted to give him away- but i know that this was whats best for him and i had to go through matter how much it hurts. Who am i to tell God that i will not do His will? God has something special planed for Elijah-- i am excited to be able to see what it is.. I am glad that i can at least watch him grow up.. I love him!!