Woman's Retreat was Great.. Went over Col 3 and thinking things above. Even tho we are going through hard times- we can look at what is true and know that God is there with us. Just like Phil 4:8 says... "Finally brother, whatsoever things are true...... think on these things!" Yup... that is so true! :D So while we were getting out picture taken- this cat popped up and wanted in on it. Later, this same cat kept jumping into a lady's car- guess she/he didn't want to stay there. haha.

Invitations turned out great!! Made them each different but with the same information. I can't wait to start working on a scrapbook for some people.. Just need to print up the pictures for one wedding, and also wait for the other wedding pics to come my way. I also got my 2nd page done for my Asian trip! I Love it tons. I have been looking through the scrapbook magazines that i have gotten over the years and just seeing what new thing i can include to my own ideas. :D So far- I have gotten into this square thing.. enough that i am including it to anything and everything right now. That and the whole diamond thing in a row..

I love my friends! I love hanging out with them and just spending time with people older than 3rd grade. I am ALWAYS surrounded with kids that a break from kids is ALWAYS a great thing. Tho- there are plenty of time i just want to be left alone and read or just catch up on sleep. {pic} Here we are after BCM {power was out but came on just as Brian was talking}. Sriana and Leah wanted their picture taken and so Saul was taking it for them-- yeah it took a while. haha. They are so silly! Leah is still growing and learning from her past- and Sriana is very encouraging- and Saul is just silly {i don't really know him too well}.

The kids are doing well.. I got to watch them for 3 whole days. I now know that i don't want to be a single mom with 3 kids and a crazzie dog.. it was very tireing. But even tho it was tireing- there were so many precious moments that i wouldn't change for anything.. Like all the laughters, all the sweet sayings {Jameson had told me that he loves me}.. and just chillen while we watched a movie before going to bed. {i don't remember what movie we were watching in the pic there.. maybe it was How to Train your Dragon}.

We also had some yummy meals together, and i keep learning how much Jameson LOVES ketchup... enough to eat it with his broccoli and say it tastes like ice-cream. Um... im pretty sure that it doesn't, but good for you! We read alot of books. One time they both fell asleep during the 1st book.. so sweet! We went to the park, and took a bath, and enjoyed time making up games. Delaney missed her mom and dad- so i had her make them a card and write in it {yeah, i had to help her with some of the spelling- but she did great on her own otherwise}. I love seeing how much the kids are growing and learning.

So this month i am also babysitting another kid {who happens to be good freinds with Delaney and in the same class}. Nikki {freind} surely is a wild one, but she is ever so sweet and loves to play with people. She also forgets very easily {like when her mom comes to pick her up and she needs to clean up- she will often start playing again.. haha}. Even tho the girls can get SUPER loud, i do love hearing them giggle and laugh at the silliest things. {pic, we went to the park and this is at the dock area}

I think the best thing about kids is that they can say things without knowing what they are saying and yet be ever so true. Like Delaney saying the other day how much God cleans people's heart when they let Him. She didn't undertand why she said it- but yet it is ever so true.

So in the youth group, we went over the story of Barak- and how much of a chicken he was b/c he asked a girl to come along with him to fight off a place. Tho- the place ended up being dead by a girl names Jael {who killed the king in his own tent}. So Katie asked the kids to crave the pumpkin... on one time the kids made a chicken, and on this side they made a cross. I thought it looked mega awesome.. so as i was cleaning up the mess- i took this pic. :D Yeah-- i love taking pics. This is just so awesome... We should honor God through everything- even on Holloween.. We can crave crosses or whatnots and let people know the Love of God. :D

Recently, i have been studying out Romans. I read a chapter, then read some other books that i have on Romans, and also look at the cross-references that is in my Bible, and read the notes that i had taken and even the notes on the bottom. {pic- this is what my Bible looks like on a busy page}. I am now on Chapter 4... i am just studying it out slowly. I totally forgot about my Woman's Study program thing- so i have to catch up with that I already am done with SS class reading- since i had to teach it and well, 1st week noone showed up and 2nd week Mark and I didn't get too far into it since he had wondered what Mary were which. Crazzieness! But it's alright!


Now this handsom fellow is my son. This is his 1st year picture that i had been given just after his 1st birthday. He is now 1yr and 7months old. Last i heard, he is talking and walking around and looks alot like me. I am very glad that he still has blue eyes {can't tell in the pic}. Juan has brown eyes and usually the dominate eye color wins- so i guess Hazel is better!! :P jk.. I saw a pic on someone's Flickr page that looks so much like Elijah- but it wasn't {unless Elijah was in India and has 5brothers..- which he doesn't}. I was able to tell the whole adoption story to the ladies during the retreat. Some of the ladies was telling about their hard times {since someone asked "what short of hard times are you going through?"}... Someone who knew the story said that i should tell my story {which only made the people who didn't know it be very curious about it}.. i wasn't going to tell them bc i didn't want to focus to me on me, but i felt an urge to tell it- so i did. Afterwards a lady came up to me and said she was very proud of me and she started crying {so i hugged her since she needed it}. I always give the glory to God whenever i tell the story- because He is the One who knew what is best for Elijah and provided everything and even gave me the strength to go through it. Yeah- it is hard, even now... but it's not super hard as i thought it would be because God gave me the strength and also bc i know that i can see pics from time to time. :D I can watch him grow up- and that is indeed very important to me. Just because i am not in his life doesn't mean that he can't be in my life right now. :D I Love Him and am looking forward to hearing from him when he is older. :D

So i guess there is a ton of drama going on with my family right now. I am just glad that i am not in the middle of it. I forgive those that are in the wrong, and i love them tons. They will learn from their mistakes sooner or later. I am praying for them and do hope for the best in them. Maybe greed is in control of them right now- but they will see that life isn't about things, it is about serving God and loving Him alone. So.. i am praying that some people will forgive them continueously and love them. They don't have to be buddy-buddy, but they can still love them. Sure "shake off the dust"- but still pray for them and love them. Jesus did... if He didn't- then He surely wouldn't of died on the cross for them. It's as simple as that! Well- I love my family.. even tho there is this big drama going on. Thats all i can say on the matter.. bc i don't really know what all is going on besides what i've been told.

Anyways.. thats life for you! This weekend is going to be a blast.. Bowling and basketball this Saturday.. Yays!! There will be pizza and cake {even if i have to make the cake-maybe cupcakes-myself}, and tons of fun. i hope that i don't get any presents.. why? because i will already have the best present- spending time with my friends.. and even my best friend Kjerstin-- Yays!! :D I miss her loads. I don't know when she get in town, but i do know that she will be here on Saturday at least.. Yays! Wow.. i am getting old... i am going to be 1/2 of 50 this year-- Crazzie!! Well- i'll make the best of it just like i made the best of being 24. :D

No matter what hard times you are going through you can always count on God being there with you and helping you through the hard times. This past Monday my Grandpa died in his sleep. He was in and out of the hospital for his leg, or lungs or other problems. I was never really close to him, but it is still sad. I am not even sure if he is in Heaven or not right now.. all i know is that God will use this for His Glory. the 11th would've bee nhis 84th birthday and today is his furneral. A blessing has been happening recently- my dad has been changing slowly. He is now going to church along with my mom and have started tithing on his own. I am still praying that he will come to know my Savior as his own Savior also.

{pic taken from my freind, Dominika, in the velley area} It's been getting colder and wetter here. But even through all the wetness, God sends His love through a rainbow or a small opening in the sky. He is also showing His Love through all the little things and even the big things like not getting into a car crash.

I am so siked- i worked on invitations for a bowling party that i am going to throw for my friends. They need a small break from studying all the time. I had a great time making the invitations for them all. I made them to their fav. color and made each one different in designs {yet have some things the same, like diamond design and circles somewhere on it}. I found out that my best friend is going to be in town during that time. I am super siked about her being in town, tho it sounded like she needs a break from people for a while {which i can understand}.

This past week has been ever so busy for me. Mon-Wednesday night i had the kids all to myself while the parents went out of the state for some business. The kids kept me busy with games, cooking, cleaning, bath, etc. But it was good. I took the kids to the park one of the days and just let them run off their energy {it wasn't raining that day- yays!} I had thursday off work, so i slept in and finished working on the invitations and watched a series about a girl whose parents died and she was to live with her aunt who didn't want her- the aunt got lost at sea and another aunt came by to take care of the household and the girl- the aunt was very mean but started changing the more she lived there with the girl. Pretty interesting in a wierd way. :D Then i went to BCM {College Bible Study} and we sang in the dark {power was out}. Brian talked about Jesus dying and how we know for a fact that He died. Next week He is going to show us a way to show that Jesus is indeed alive without using the Bible {for those who say that He didn't really come alive and that the Bible is a lie, but yet they believe in the History of our culture..} I am looking forward to that. :D He even gave each of us a book "The Case for Easter". Yays!! I love free books, and i love reading! :D Tonight and tomorrow morning i am going to be at the woman's retreat down in Out The Road {thats the name of the road- really!! There is a road called that in like each city of Alaska- no joke!} then Sat night i am babysitting 2 boys for a family bc its their anniversary. And Sunday morning i am teaching again. Maybe this time people will be there. If not, it'll be alright. I love reading alone! :D Yikes! It's just one busy, fun week!

I am still looking forward to getting pics of Elijah... i surely hope that i get it before my birthday. I have been waiting for these pics for over 3 months now. I've been told that he is looking more and more like me and that he is talkig and walking around more. I wish i can hear his sweet little voice. Owells! I am just happy with what i get. I still write in his journal from time to time, and i do look forward to giving it to him someday. :D

Have a wonderful and blessed day! :D

-Dayna

This past month has been hard- and it seems like this month is just the same. I somehow can't sleep at night. It's like my bedtime is 2am and i am up by 5 in the morning. I am so tired lately that i feel so sick. Thursday i went to the dentist and they fixed one of my teeth in the back, so they were pulling my mouth this way and that. As the numbness was going away- my mouth was hurting me so much that i just wanted to cry and cry. Did i? Nope... i find that when i am around people, i don't cry. My mouth is doing better now- since i have pin medicine from the family i work for. Then after a crazzie morning with super hyper kids, a new route to go inside, a crazzie dog, feeding kids, kids screaming and playing- i fell asleep for a bit, but was woken up by Jameson who just had to tell me that he had to go potty. Not sure why i have to tell him to "well go then", but i guess it's a must. Maybe it was a good thing that i be up while watching kids.

I think i might through a small b-day party for myself this year and go bowling, have pizza, cake, and fun! :D I think it would be good for the college students to just have a small break away from their studies. Am going to make their invitations soon.. Yeah- i love working with paper and just being creative. The BEST birthday gift would be having Stephen coming up to surprise me.. but i am super certain that thats not going to happen. I am just happy with just hanging with my friends that gifts isn't a big deal. {pic is of a Double Rainbow that Stephen saw.. i just love how the rain falling is also colorful.}

Saturday night i skipped out on Basketball because i was in so much pain the whole day, and needed to study out John so i can teach it for SS. A freind of mine called me and we ended up talking for a long time. Went to bed- woked up a few times from either being in pain or being too hot. Today I went to get gas and the tomatoe that Mrs. Chadwick asked me to get and then hurried up to get to SS on time. Turns out- i could've skipped out on SS... NoOne showed up. Owells.. i just used that time to reread Romans and look up different cross-reverences that was in my Study Bible. I am learning so much and getting alot of it like that. It was peaceful and just sweet being alone with the Lord. Went to Service, then helped out with lunch at the Chadwicks. I thought they were going to introduce something that all 25-35 year olds should know... but it turned out that they wanted to have a meet n greet a few new comers that are about that age. It was great!

Awanas was... INSANE.. Victoria's little friend came along and she was worst than last week she came. She was crying about this and that, kicking the pins when she didn't win, yelling and kicking when i was trying to talk to her and just trying to do things that she wanted to do when she wanted to do. I love her bc i am told to.. but it's so hard to try to communicate to her when she doesn't want to listen. Told the person who is in charge of her that she can either come with a mom or dad next week or not come next week and then maybe come the week later if she behaves. I don't need to pick her up, and i surely am not going to be rewarding bad behaviors.

I love working with kids. One day last week i had to watch the kids while the parents were out on a date. I had to put the kids to bed, so naturally when they woked up in the middle of the night- they came to me {even tho their parents was upstairs}. So little Jameson came into my apartment as i was working on something, and he fell back asleep before i could stand up to walk him back to his room. So of course i took pictures-- i wouldn't be a good Nanny if i hadn't.. haha. He is so cute when he is sleeping... why can't kids be this sweet when they are awake? owells!! Life goes on!

So the date on this says it was posted on Thursday.. but it is Sunday the 7th... I had started this on Thursday.. haha.. Crazzieness! It should post the date that you really post it, not the date you started it.. owells! Well.. Have a wonderful and God-Fearing Day!! :D

It is a blessing to be here. It's been raining all month- so it seems like anyways. I am very ready for Summer to come- but alas, we have to go through winter first. Thats just how life is... we all have to go through something in order to get the reward. But no matter what the weather is, there seem to always be Sunshine somewhere in my day/life. Rather that Sunshine is just a quiet time alone, spending time with friends, or just a simple sight {like a rainbow on a rainy day}. Delaney is slowly understanding some of the Bible stories. She told me the story of Noah the other day and told me that a rainbow is God's promise to Love us.... so true... and it is also a promise that He will not flood the earth again like that. {yeah he will flood towns, but not the whole world}.


The Kids are ever so silly. Delaney loves to pick out her own clothes in the morning, and of course- it doesn't always match. But un-matching looks totally awesome on kids {so i think anyways}. It shows their growing up stage and a bit of independence. Jameson has been saying some very silly things. Most recently- the kids where in the back seat and Hiedi was in between them. Jameson then says, "Hiedi is looking at me", "Hiedi is bothering me", "Hiedi smells!"... ROTFLOL {Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud}. I just love these kids. Jameson gave me a kiss on the cheeks the other day and told me that he loved me. I guess Stephen has to work harder at keeping me then.. haha!




I have been reading in Romans the past week.. I am just now starting reading chapter 3. I have been reading a few other books that talks about the chapters in Romans and just seeing where they match up to what God is saying. I also have been praying about what i need to get out of the chapter each day. I should do it like this more often for each book of the Bible. What i've been getting out of my reading in Romans is to depend on Him more and to seek Him out more. I want to be a Woman after God's own Heart, and i want to not be a chicken to tell people about Him. I am not perfect, but i know that He can use me still. Someone recently came up to me and told me about their past. I am ever so thankful for this friend and am glad that i can share with her how much the Lord has changed me and can change her too. It's not too late to change the way you think and to be pure for your future guy/girl.

I may not be able to see what my family see in Stephen, but i do not hate them for their view. Just because my past with guys were way off from what i really wanted- doesn't mean that this relationship is the same. If i was to break up with him, i don't want to do it just because my family don't like him.. if i was then it is going to be because it is God's Will that we are not together. I want to break it off together, not because of a silly fight, or because of cheating. I am not dating him just to proof myself wrong, or to proof my fam wrong, or just to have a boyfriend. I am dating him because i see so much in him that i want in a husband. Yeah there are a few things i don't like, but i know that we can work through them together. I am sure there are things about me that gets to him {not sure what they are..yet}. I know that my family don't want me to go through the hard times- but i know that the hard times that God gives me will only help me be a better woman for Him.

Anyways, someday... ...just someday... ...my family will see the change in my life. I surely can't wait for that day when they say, "there is just something about you!" untill then, i shall pray for them. I am not putting on a show- nor trying to make myself look better than what i am, because i surely am not all that great.

So i ended up getting the new Taylor Swift CD. I love it! I think that its super awesome how she is young and does alot of things. She also tries to interacts with her fans and gives things out all the time, and even have a certain "tea" time with random fans from her concerts. I love that she has a song called "Hey Stephen". With her new cd.. i love the song called "Mine" .. and she even has a video of it out. So cute! Guess that guy is one of few guys to say that they kissed Taylor Swift. :D I remember a friend of mine telling me that they met Taylor Swift.. i knew her song Teardrop on my Guitar, and Tim McGraw- but i didn't really know who she was. But now i do {well, not personally}- but i know what she looks like and i even know more of her songs. :D

Anyways-- i shall end it here before i ramble on some more on nothing super important. :P Until next time- have a wonderful and blessed and God-Fearing day/week! Remember who loved you 1st.... God!

I am very much in love with someone very special. I am very blessed that he is in my life now and forever. He helps me be a better woman after God's own heart and encourages me. He makes me smile when i am down and he listens to me when i need to talk. I am deeply in love with Stephen.

I am however upset with my fam. They are judging him and telling me that i am making a huge mistake. They haven't talked with Stephen yet, nor asked me why i am so into him. The only person who asked me that was a friend of mine who i haven't seen in a long time. During a conversation about "is it right to tell someone who is saved that they are not saved and put doubt in their heart?" my little sister thought it would be the best time to put in her opinion of Stephen. So out of the blue she wrote "Dayna, it doesn't matter what me or Joy tells you, you will always follow your own heart, which is wicked and deceitful and you go ahead and marry all the jerk and unsaved people you like, because those that are saved are obviously too good for you." I am not sure why she brought that up, but she was calling Stephen a jerk and said that he isn't saved. How would she know that he isn't saved? Has she talked with him? Does she have the power to know what his relationship with the Lord is? Just two things is wrong there.. Stephen is not a Jerk and he is indeed saved. Whatever she has against Stephen she must have against mom too- because she too hasn't gone to church all the time and read her bible. That really doesn't mean that she isn't saved, and it doesn't mean that Stephen isn't saved either. I can't see why my family is so against Stephen, and when i do ask them- they can't really tell me why. They want me to take their advises, yet they can't stop judging Stephen without knowing who he is.

Yes- i am very glad that i didn't take Joy up on her offer to work for her, and i am also glad that i am far away from them all. I am going to be happy- and they can't tear me down anymore. I love Stephen.


On the plus side- I love my job! We had 12days of sunshine before a month of rain and wind and rain and rain and more rain. There is more snow on the mountians now, and the temparture is getting colder. I saw a Baby deer today as i went to pick up my friend Sriana. God is very Good and knows that we need a pick-me-up from time to time. :D

In SS we are going over John and looking at who Jesus was/is. Tuesdays we are going over Experiencing God. Wednesday we went over Jonah for a while. Thrusday we are going over Matthew. In my personal reading i am going over Romans. I am very much enjoying my time with the Lord. It's funny how Kaytie and Joy and Mom thought that i wasn't reading the Bible when i was down there in TX. Just because they didn't SEE me reading, doesn't mean that i wasn't reading. I didn't see Joy or Mom reading the Bible at all- does that mean that they didn't read either? No- just means that i didn't see them read.

Well... just to end this post on a good note.... I love my son! I miss him loads and often go over the time i did had with him. All those times he kicked me, all those times i saw him on the ultra sound moving around, the whole birth and the pain and the blessing of seeing him for the 1st time, all those times i held him within my arms and look into his blue eyes. I Love Elijah D. E.!

Can you guess what i did this summer? Yup.. I went to Asia! It was so awesome to go there. It i s such a huge cultural shock- everyone speaks another language. They drive very wild and their laws is so different than USA {not sure its a good thing}. The historial places were pretty awesome, and the wild plants were very awesome to see.

A friend i met there showed us around this huge garden- with tons of Cherry trees and other places and some historal buildings. I really much had a great time taking tons of pictures. We were able to get into deeper conversations. This freind was hitting on me until he found out that i had a boyfriend. I realized how great a help i was to bring guys over- made it very easy to get my friend talking to them in their language on some deep important issues.

I was able to hang out with some kids a few times. My friend that went with me noticed how my face light up when i am around kids. My friend was able to get to know me and saw things about me that she didn't even know about. We were able to talk alot and point each other to Christ. I am so blessed with my friends that i've made!

1st week there, we taught in some classes and did an Alaskian theme {shocker ah?}. Met tons of people. 2nd week we just did fellowups with those that we met in the classes. a few took us on a tour to a few places, and some just ate with us. A few friends even came over to the house and made dinner. we taught them how to play "Spoons".. one of the greatest card game ever created!

I had a great time and surely wouldn't change anything. We rode in some insane taxi rides, some wild bus rides, and did some suicide walking as we crossed some roads. We ate some AMAMZING food... Asian food in USA will never be the same. I was able to watch them make their noodles {or should i say, one very long noodle}.

The trip back was ever so long and much longer when we missed a few flights and had to take other flights. Last flight i was in Anchorage {1st time-- but friends where out of town} for 6hours.. I was ever so glad to land back home and was ever so surprised that a group of my friends was there waiting for me. It was ever so awesome! I was able to run into a guy that i had given a ride to a week before i left for my Asian trip- thought it was cool that he noticed me and even remembered my name.

Vegas trip was amazing... and i surely am missing Stephen tons. We was able to play card games, go for walks, eat out together, cuddle, and watch The Lion King on stage {super amazing and way better than the movie}. Stephen had a rose sent to my room after he had left- was shocked and super happy... 1st rose from a guy {not related}! Yays!! So one more trip before i am fully back to work and ready for a crazzie time with kids and kids and more kids.

It is brighter longer here... meaning, the pic above is what it looks like here at Midnight. Yeah-- I love living here! :D

This year i have learned how to play Pinochle and I LOVE IT! I would play it all day long if i could. I don't care if i lose or win, i love playing. I also love playing Dominoes and could also play that all day long {pretty much did on NewYears... wow-6hours or so}. In the pic, you can see a bad hand that I had.. Matthew and I was winning, then we started losing and well- kept the losing part going on. But it was a great time with my friends.

It has FINALLY snowed here this week. We didn't get a whole lot, enough to shovel tho- but not like Texas. *haha*. It is indeed BEAUTIFUL here- looking at the snow covered mountians. Everything seems to be brighter now. :D I Love it! Yesterday, the kids and I shoveled for the 1st time since 2008 {i didn't shovel at all in 2009-yup.. spoiled}, it was so much fun and i was able to throw a few snowballs at the kids. I love how they "help" shovel the snow, the just throw the snow where'ver-even the pile of snow i just made.. haha. I can't wait to have kids of my own to do this with. :D I know for a fact that i am going to be having more kids- unless Christ comes before i do, or if i die.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be famous.. but at the same time i don't want to be famous at all. I enjoy being able to go places without people knowing who i am and without a million cameras fellowing me around--yet, at the same time i think it would be awesome to have people know who i was. Well.. i am glad that i am who i am, and i wouldn't change that for anything.

I love seeing couples together {like Jake and Vienna, Todd and Jody B....etc}. I learned alot about what True Love is... it's not just kissing and cuddling and whatnots... it's a relationship, enjoying the presence of each other, and the desire to stay with each other. Just like my love for God is a relationship, enjoying each other and the desire to stay. Kissing and hugging and holding hands and cuddling and whatnots are just bonuses in the relationship. Sex should be after marriage, not before. People who have sex before marriage are really not ready to be a parent, and some are put into that situation just bc they had sex before marriage {tho, some have been rapped}-- but those that have sex, willingly, are really not ready to be a mom/dad. I know i wasn't ready to be a mom- even tho i wanted to be a mom someday. I love being a mom now, even though i made the toughest dicision a parent could have made for their child.

Elijah is 11months old today. I miss him very much... but at the same time, i know what i did was whats best for him. I am very proud to tell people that i am A MOM of a handsome son, and i love showing him off. As i am working on a scrapbook, or working on my album for when i go over seas this summer, i often want to take some AMAZING pictures of my son.. like of his little feet and hands, him sleeping...etc.. I have learned so much about taking some amazing pics this past year.. i only wish that i had taken pictures of him myself when i had him... but i was enjoying him being in my arms that me taking pictures was the last thing on my mind. I am glad that my mom was there taking some pics.. may not be the best pics, but it's all i have of him. I love him so much! Much more now than i did when he was still in my tummy {and trust me, i fell in love with him as soon as i knew i was pregnant}.

How can people abort kids??? That is ever so sad and so mean. How can people be for abortion? Do they not have a heart? I can tell you 100% that their mom didn't abort them... what would've happen had their mom aborted them {like Oh Big "butt" Mistake Amercia!--i mean Obama!}. I am very glad that my mom didn't abort me! Aren't you glad that your mom didn't abort you??? I am totally against Obama... i can't see what good he is doing for America besides making us poorer and killing us. Yays!! more taxes, more wasting money on stupid things, more murder {abortion}! lets celebrate and worship Obama for saving us!! I THINK NOT!! ... just so you know,, i do pray for Obama {or so much}, but i am not for him. I am not against the fact that he is black, i am just against what he is doing and what he is for {abortion}. that is just a HUGE thing that i am against. another thing is health care--- PLEASE! lets pay people to kill their babies! I can't see how in the world people want someone like this to be their president {because clearly he won for a reason}. If the world just wanted a black to be president, then why not let someone who is against abortion be it?

Ok.. enough about politics.. i don't know what all is going on anyways.. off to bed i go.

WOW! It is already March! 2 days till Elijah turns 11months. Crazzie how times fly by. Someone mentioned something about me being a mom- and i told them that i am A mom, but those these kid's mom. they looked at me very strangely and i told them that my son is living withhis adoptive parents and that i take care of these kids here. Jameson then came up to me at that time, making me leave the conversation hanging at that- so i wonder what went through their mind at that time! Some people think that it's rude of me to have given up Elijah, as others see it as me being very loving. What do you think? Personally, I know for a fact that what i did was what was best for him. I love him ever so dearly and am missing him ever so much. I take care of these kids and often wonder what crazzie things Elijah is going to do at these ages.

Delaney had a few hard days lately... she fell asleep in my apartment after she had taken her "rest". It was much needed her for. and of course- i had my camera handy, haha!

So.. I've watched The Bachelor.. I can honestly tell you that Stephen is just like Jake in so many ways- Good looking, sweet attitude, smart, caring, good values and did i say Good looking?? Anyways, I had liked Vienna, Ali, Ella, Gia and Tenley from day 1. Was very sad Ella left early. Got confused about Ali because she was being so rude to Vienna- but something about her stuck. Vienna was very sweet and totally herself from day 1 {i can just tell, so don't ask}. Final 3 girls were on my top 5... Gia, Tenley and Vienna. {Sweetness!} People in the world is ever so rude to people and love to bring someone down.. so sad indeed! I am happy for Vienna and Jake- i can see some of me in Vienna... mainly- she has grown from a HUGE mistake in her own life, and i have grown from a HUGE mistake in my own life. I surely would love to be friends with Vienna and Jake.

Stephen and I are still going strong! He has brought so many smiles to my heart. My top fav. thing to do with him is read something from the Bible.. we can't do it every night, but when we do- I love it! I keep getting asked when we are going to be getting married- honestly, not anytime soon. We are taking things slowly and just enjoying each other as the time goes by. He will meet my family and i will meet his mom before we do plan out our wedding. Meeting his sister will be awesome.. she sounds like she is alot like my cousin Maria. I will be seeing Stephen this summer for a day or two {wish it would be longer than that} and i am looking forward to that. Get to explore a new town together!

I LOVE working here in Alaska! It's been ever so beautiful here this winter. I think Texas has gotten more snow than we have {even with the snow we have gotten today}.. Crazzie! Here Jameson and I was at the park while family was ice-skating. So amazing to see how much they have grown up within the {almost} 2yrs i've been here. I can honestly say that i am going to miss this family once i stop working for them. They feel more like my own family more than my boss.

A friend and I are planning on a mission's trip this summer. Things are working out so far.. and i have this HUGE feeling that this is where the Lord wants me to go this summer. {not just a feeling, but a strong desire}... I know that it's not Satan, because Satan will not give me a desire to do something right or to plant seeds in people's hearts/lives. I am excited about it and don't have any worries about it. Mom is worried that something will happen, and so is Stephen. If i was to die, then i would be dying doing the right thing- praising my Father! All the Glory goes to Him and HIM ALONE!

He is always reminding me that He is here with me and loves me. He wants whats best for me- just like i want whats best for Elijah. So, for those who think that i have not changed- think again! I keep thinking about how to better my relationship with Him! Best way is to continue reading His Love notes- for He had written those just for me... "I once was lost, but now i am found!" How can i not want to fellow the ONE who has found me!

I am glad that i am not famous or have millions of people wanting to watch my every move. I am free to go to the store, or hang out with my friends without anyone bothering me. I love being me! There isn't anyone in the world i want to be.. not even the "sexiest" woman--- i am glad that i am sexy in my own personal way. But, you have to get to know me 1st in order to see it.. *grins* - I have a great life.... all because I have my Savior with me... without Him I'd be lost and life wouldn't be worth living!

2009

So much has happened within a year. I started the year off with praying to the Lord and hanging out with my church family, playing games and talking. I gave birth to a wonderful little boy and was able to spend Easter with him. The toughest thing i've ever done was to let him go. I didn't want him to go, but i knew it was whats best for him.

I spent 4th of July with the family. Kjerstin came over and hanged out with me for a while. We watched the fireworks together and just had a blast. I loved being able to watch the fireworks from the couch. I grew up walking around town with the twins and Kaytie and watching the Firework that way.

I was able to fly down to see Stephen a few times. I love getting to know him better, and just spending time with him. He is such a HUGE encouragment and very helpful. My favorite thing to do with Stephen would have to be playing pool or bowling. His dad got his this pj.. so he is showing it off to me. Love it!! :D Transformers! He came up here for my birthday, and i loved it tons more. We were able to hang out more and really get to see each other more than 2-3hours in a day}

Met up with my friend Matthew and took pictures of the kids for a Christmas gift to the parents. It was a blast and was able to get some very amazing pictures of the kids. After some time of shooting their pics, we just went ahead and played with balls on the other side of the gym. It was a huge blast and i enjoyed pretending to be a pro-photographer {as Matt let me take pics with his awesome camera}

I've lost a good 115lbs since HS and with being pregnany. Yays! I'm pretty proud of myself for that.. tho i am still pretty chubby. But i feel skinny, and often forget that i am indeed chubby. Crazzie ah? {pic- showing off my chubbiness, yet skinniness}

And thats 2009 for ya.. Now it is 2010 and i am looking forward to new blessings, new trails, new hope, new sadness, new happiness, new adventures, new friends, new attitudes, new days, new everything! :D It is already Feb.. so the year is already starting off pretty fast.

I love living in Alaska, and love how each day is like an adventure. I surely never thought in a million years that i would be this close {pic} to ice-bergs, or even the glacier-- nor even be here in AK.

I love working with these kids here.. They are alot of fun {when they are not in their crazzie moods}. I enjoy being around them, and love doing things with them {even the same puzzle 20times..crazzie}. They seem to always be begging for my attention- for surely when i am cooking lunch, or trying to get something done. But they are pretty good with playing with each other, and pretty good with hurting each other {i mean, what kid isn't good at that??}

I am ever so addicted to watching The Bachelor that i often dream about it.. like last nite, i dreamt that i had applied to go on the show and was single.. but ended up dating Stephen.. the people who works there told me to still come on the show anyways.. so i did.. the guy {which i had randomly pick his name to be James} ended up asking me to be like a spy after i told him that i had found someone. So i ended up staying on the show longer and told him whats goes on behind the scenes. Well- it came down to 5 girls.. i got the one-on-one date with him, and he told me that he loved me {which they don't do till they pick you at the end}. During the rose ceremony, he had called my name- i was in tears by this time, because i knew what i was going to do... be the 1st person to say "no". I thought of James as a very good friend, and surely didn't want to hurt him... but before i could say "no" to when he asked me if i would accept the rose-- my alarm went off. Crazziness! I don't normally dream like that.. i often dream about other things- and often something that makes no sence. O-wells. thats life i guess.. :D

So here's to another brand new year to do something new and grow and help someone new with something in their life {rather it's a need of a friend or a need of a Savior}.