I was hit by a huge brick by God on Sunday. Not just one time, but three times. First one was during Sunday School with Pastor Bryan. He talked on the wedding, and how out judgment isn't about our sins, but about how our hearts react toward things...like how was my attitude toward someone who did me wrong! That hit me hard, because I've been falling so much- and haven't even tried to get back up much. I wonder how much treasures I have in heaven.. I am very sure that is really isn't much at all. Second brick was when Pastor Marriott preaches in Acts. He said a few things that got my thinking. I re-wrote them in the back of my Bible- oso i can remember later on. "If we're going to give the message out, then we must know it ourself as well," and, "When going through a trial, don't shut your Bible, but open it." I need to get into the Word more, and want to give it out to others. I shouldn't worry about how others think about me, because I am God's daughter, and I need to start showing it. Third brick was when Pastor Marriott's son, David, preached in Matthew. He mainly preached about a begger. He also said a few things that got me thinking. "We miss, don't see our own spiritual need...we need to go to God", "I am a begger, I cannot save myself". Am I really begging God to help me with my spirital needs, or am I wanting to do it my own way and on my own? Have I been falling further way from my Father; The only Father, Friend, Savior who have loved me so much? I am still here on earth. There has to be a speical reason for it- and one day I'll find out. But for now, I need to wait and be prepare for when He comes to get His children.

I was just sitting at my desk, and was just thinking about many different things. I looked up at my wall, and saw my sign which says, "What you are is God's gift to you, What you make of yourself is your gift to God." Now, the only question I have to ponder for a while is, Who am I? I know, I am Dayna- God's child, but who am I really? I know what I want in life- To help others, and to be there for someone. I want to be the wife a man would want to come home to, a wife that will support him with whatever he is doing, {preaching, factory, cleaning, cooking,, etc.}. But I really do not know who I am deep down at times. Who is that girl behind those eyes? This is something that will end up coming out someday. But for now, it is just me. I am a shy girl who is learning to be more out-going with the friends she picked {Jolene}, and a girl who is very creative in many things. I may be slow at learning things from books, yet, I am very smart {other ways than books and gradewise} for my age. 0-Wells. Life is life, I guess. You only get life once, what you do with it is up to you. I much rather spend my life following the One who freed me, than to live a life not knowing Him. I often wonder what it would be like to be in a different family. But then I got thinking, what if a different family meant not knowing Jesus?...Would it be worth it? I think not. I love my family, just at times... I don't really see why I am in this family. For now, I'll just let Christ lead the way. He'll let me know the answers later on in life.

Sometimes I wish I can go back and re-live my life and change some things around.. like my relationship with God, who my friends were, and a few other things. The only thing I wouldn't change is the fact that I didn't kill myself. I am very glad to be alive right now. Ps 139 says it all, and Verse 14 is what helped me want to keep my life. Oh, Praise the Lord for a wonderful sister, a wonderful teacher, and a wonderful Pastor's Wife {Mrs. Anderson}. I look up to her so much throughout High-school. It was like she was my only friend. I am sure she would've given me that hug I needed back then if she knew how I felt. But that is the past, and nothing can change it now. God was through it all back then, and He is still in my life today. What a Blessing that is.... to be able to know God personally, and not wonder if He can hear me.