Who is that girl behind those clothes? Noone knows until they get to know her. One person can tell a whole lot about someone from their eyes. It's like looking deep into their souls. You can tell if someone is down and hurting, or if someone is truely happy. Someone can look like they are happy just by smiling a whole lot, but deep down be hurting.
It's amazing how people act around others. The guys go for girls who are "beautiful", and the girls go for those who are "cute". Even Christians do this. They look at what someone looks like rather than look at who they are. Maybe that is why people can't get along at times. Maybe that is why I grew up hating myself, but loving others more.
The thing that I really want, is something that I could never get, and no one could ever give it to me but God. I know that He wouldn't give it to me, because this is who I am, and I should become a better person without it. What is it, you ask? It is my size, I want to be taller. If I was taller, then my fatness wouldn't be fatness anymore, and I would be "beautiful". But where would I be if noone would tell me, "WOW!, you look young for your age!", "You will appreachiate it when you are older!" ??? But, I am sure noone understands how sick I am of hearing that. I love the looks on people when they find out that I am 20 and not 12, but the words I could do without. Mom and Dad loves to tell people how old I am for that fact, but I really could care less now. O-wells!! Thats life I guess. But I can so see why Aaron, or any other guy, wouldn't wanna be with someone like me.
Yesterday, I got up early to go help Pastor Dave with some VBS things. He had Kaytie and I made loads of copies of the verse-booklets, and put it together. We had pizza afterwards and was able to talk. I thought that was awesome, because it really has been a long while since I was able to talk to Pastor Dave. As soon as we walked outside, I felt like I was on fire. It was 115 degrees outside, which meant it would be close to 130+ degrees at work. It was mega hot working. The funnie thing is that I was told that I was working too fast, but I was working mega slow. O-wells. I nutted up a part {weld on two nuts}, and I did 747 of them.
But priase the Lord we are able to appreachiate what Moses did when they had to walk in the Dessert. I am sure it was just as hot for them as they walked, or as they complained about not having water when they want it.
1 comment:
WOMAN! Oh my. I pray for you and Dayna I know that you hate your size and that it really bothers you and you know what?.. Its something I envy you of. Honest. Then I could get the guys to do all the things I can't reach and make them feel so manly. Just because Aaron and a few other guys don't like you, doesn't mean that you are not beautiful... because dayna everyone down here told me without me asking, that you were very pretty.
God has a special plan for you and it may be that your lack of being very vertical has some important roll in it. You know, there was a missionary that wanted to have blue eyes soo badly and yet God never changed her eye color and it was her that saved alot of girls (and boys) from the life of living in the temples in india as prostitues and the such... and it was cause she had brown eyes she was allowed to fool them into thinking she was an indian and be allowed into the temples (where no forgieners where allowed to go). God had a special plan for her and you know, there is a plan for you. Who knows what greatness you can do and maybe your size will have a great impact on things. I'll be praying for you. Don't let it be a crutch.. let go and let God.
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